Is it better to remain a child, having everything done for you and being, on the whole, unable to take care of yourself, or is it better to suffer through adolescence and become a productive, independent adult?
I don't see that suffering and growing necessarily have to go hand in hand. It does not take being homeless to know that acquiring a skill, learning to cook, etc are good things that allow for a stable and more fruitful life. Nor does it require that someone stab you to know that knives are sharp and need to be handled properly. We are intelligent beings who are able to maintain knowledge and wisdom. "Experience is the best teacher, but he is a fool who learns only from his own."
All that is requisite is that someone wiser than us instruct us on what to avoid and what to pursue. A parent is useful in this regard. Not that the parent will do everything for you. A good parent will teach you how to be self-sufficient. It is every good parent's joy to see their child become a person who no longer needs the parent. It is every child's joy to be independent of their parents and yet to honor them for raising them up to become so.
My grandfather was abandoned by his father at the age of 5 and was raised by a truly awful woman who beat him every day because he "did something wrong today." When my uncle was born, my grandparents literally lived under a tree with a tarp as a roof and a hole in the ground to keep their perishables in. They went on to raise four children and even though my father's childhood was not without its dramatic challenges, it was better than his fathers. And my childhood was better than my father's, although not perfect. My children have consequently had pretty good childhoods. I have one grown child, three adolescents and one entering into adolescence. None are or have been required to "suffer through adolescence" to "become a productive, independent adults." All of them speak to me openly about their lives and are willing to hear me out when I offer advice or relate stories that are pertinent to their situation. They are the first in at least five generations of my family to attend college or to even believe that they can have professional careers as business owners, medical doctors, etc. My grandfather suffered far more than I ever have. I can tell you from his life that such suffering was not a benefit to him or to his wife and family nearly as much as my lack thereof has been for mine.
To my mind, it is the religious person who refuses to step out of childhood and to grow up to maturity. It is because of this that I debate on this forum because I simply cannot believe that God can be defined as "good" in any sense of the term and still be responsible for setting up things in the way that Christianity explains life. I believe there is a God and that by definition He must be good, although it seems clear that he/she is not present as a "personal" God in the sense that my parents were present and personal in my life. But this is a relatively new realization to me. Having been indoctrinated in a hyper-religious family, all of my mental energies were spent in understanding God from within the framework of Christianity. I was never taught why Christianity was true. I was simply told that it was. It wasn't until I began to evaluate the thing as a whole, rather that merely accepting the premise, that I realized how absurd the premise upon which Christianity is based really is. I am firmly convinced that thinking is better than believing.