Girl, 6, Handcuffed in school because of temper tantrum.

[BHSU_Student]

There is absolutely way too little information to assume who's at fault here. Not to mention the etiology of such behavior is not black and white. It's much more likely to be a number of factors which have contributed to this event. It is possible that the parents, the school, and even an underlying biological issue could all have contributed to this sudden outburst of behavior. It is even possible that none of the formers are at fault. Further, it is highly unlikely that anyone would be able to pin point the exact cause(s). Simply assuming the cause within the context of your own biases is a poor way of grasping such an issue.

When something goes wrong in this society, the immediate blame goes onto the parents (especially the mother). You know, they used to blame autism on poor parenting.
Conversely, there are indeed highly incompetent parents out there, and there needs to be some kind of intervention to prevent further mental health issues from developing in adulthood. Therefore, I don't believe that leaving responsibility entirely to the parents is such a good idea, since some parents appear to be in a perpetual state of childhood themselves--it's like leaving the responsibility of raising a child to another child. Mental health problems, which cost even more tax payer money and state resources to treat, are likely to emerge. Theres a saying that goes, "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."

They didn't bother to show up for appointments at the school, and the mother insists that "There is absolutely nothing wrong with my child."

This could be for a number of reasons. It could be that the parents have lost faith and trust in the school. Perhaps there were previous problems. Perhaps there are a number of problems with other children and the school, and the scheduled appointments seem like a joke to them. Although it could indicate a lack of responsibility, that may not be necessarily the case.

I agree with you, though, that child services needs to be involved. Maybe they could find out where this kid's rage is coming from.

You never know:

Child of Rage

 

[BHSU_Student]

You have a lot to say about the subject, don't you, Lana?

My kids have overall experienced the range of bullying in school, and I have found myself in various positions as their mom having to work things out with the school. Some things worked, some things didn't. Meh. The "zero tolerance" also applies to kids who fight back against bullies.....this is where I was called in.

I feel compelled to share a recent story (you do that to me, Lana, LOL). One of our kids was teasing another kid. The other kid was really sensitive to the teasing, and eventually decked our kid. I was called in to talk about it with everyone involved, and both our kid and the other child was disciplined.

I told the school that I didn't agree with their decision. I felt that only our child should have been disciplined, but.....there you go.

Anyhoo, it was only after we grounded our son for a week when the behavior stopped.

Now, back to our regular programming. Temper tantrums in school and the handcuffs that bind them.

Because if you didn't discipline the other kid, it would positively reinforce voilent behavior as a means of coping with such situations. No one has the right to tease anyone, but no one has the right to hit them either.

 

[DallasApple]

There is absolutely way too little information to assume who's at fault here. Not to mention the etiology of such behavior is not black and white. It's much more likely to be a number of factors which have contributed to this event. It is possible that the parents, the school, and even an underlying biological issue could all have contributed to this sudden outburst of behavior. It is even possible that none of the formers are at fault. Further, it is highly unlikely that anyone would be able to pin point the exact cause(s). Simply assuming the cause within the context of your own biases is a poor way of grasping such an issue.

When something goes wrong in this society, the immediate blame goes onto the parents (especially the mother). You know, they used to blame autism on poor parenting.
Conversely, there are indeed highly incompetent parents out there, and there needs to be some kind of intervention to prevent further mental health issues from developing in adulthood. Therefore, I don't believe that leaving responsibility entirely to the parents is such a good idea, since some parents appear to be in a perpetual state of childhood themselves--it's like leaving the responsibility of raising a child to another child. Mental health problems, which cost even more tax payer money and state resources to treat, are likely to emerge. Theres a saying that goes, "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."


This could be for a number of reasons. It could be that the parents have lost faith and trust in the school. Perhaps there were previous problems. Perhaps there are a number of problems with other children and the school, and the scheduled appointments seem like a joke to them. Although it could indicate a lack of responsibility, that may not be necessarily the case.

You never know:

Child of Rage

No one ever said there was "one cause" ..Whats clear is whatever the cause the parents have ingnored it.



Love

Dallas

 

[BHSU_Student]

No one ever said there was "one cause"

Judging by the initial responses to the OP, it appears to be so... and that was what my response was refering to.

Its just my two cents on the issue and the initial reponses. Basically, all I am saying is that there are so many possibilities and variables, and not enough (objective) information to really understand whats going on here. What you have is information from the parents and news media, which is already baised and is basically a loosely interrelated collection of "facts" with lots of missing gaps which anyone can fill according to their own bias. There is something called confirmation bias.

 

[DallasApple]

Judging by the initial responses to the OP, it appears to be so... and that was what my response was refering to.

Its just my two cents on the issue and the initial reponses. Basically, all I am saying is that there are so many possibilities and variables, and not enough (objective) information to really understand whats going on here. What you have is information from the parents and news media, which is already baised and is basically a loosely interrelated collection of "facts" with lots of missing gaps which anyone can fill according to their own bias. There is something called confirmation bias.

This is a discussion board.We take what facts we have or at least I do at face value and give an opinion and discuss.Then we may specualate on what we think could be going on as possiblilties.

If someone doesnt want to discuss the OP because there is no way to "really understand" whats going on here and doesnt care to give an opinion on what informtation we do have or speculate further then they shouldnt.

For all we know the whole story was fabricated .But I would still discuss it if someone posted this as a hypothectical because I like to discuss.

Otherwise every thread would stop at the beginning with simply..I wasnt there so I cant comment and besides they could all be lying .The End.

Love

Dallas

 

[MysticSang'ha]

No hun...its no bad reflection on you and the fact you took it seriously is a credit to you..

Love

Dallas

I was kinda joking, actually.

I just am too honest for my own good sometimes, as I find when I'm around other parents (LOL). When my kids were much younger, the parents I hung out with would go on and on about how far ahead of the learning curve their kids were, how they slept through the night by the time they were 2 months old, how they didn't need a pacifier or their thumbs, how good they are at the table, how they were potty trained by 18 months, how they make their own lunches every day, how this and that and the other.....

I used to wait until they were done and say, "My kid eats mud."

Everybody laughs at that point. Either they're laughing at me or with me, but in any case, it's cool to relax a little bit and realize that it's not up to us as parents to shape our kids into perfect little angels. Never happens.

 

[DallasApple]

I used to wait until they were done and say, "My kid eats mud."

Mine juggle with knives..LOL!!!

No seriously I havent had bullies in school for children but they did their fair share of rotteness.

They did some things "early " like walk but were potty trained late like around 3 1/2..2 of them bit awful..I had to do the walk of shame at the Mcdonalds playground one time then my almost 4 year old bit a little girl on the cheek while inisde the tunnels.

They embarrased the hell out of me more than once between the 3 of them.For example in the grocery store several incidences ..One time my youngest then about 6 ..I had an overloaded buggy that time you know one of those trips where the buggy is so full you can barely push it because of the weight..

And this one my youngest (Tristan by the way) he yelled out .."OH my GOD how much is all that going to COST ..$100?????????? How much money do you have in the bank are you sure you can afford that ??????

Similar but with my oldest and he was maybe 9..in the grocery again..He was looking with me in the meat section and I dont know what it was but a peice of meat with the price on it and he yelled out JESUS CHRIST THATS EXPENSIVE!!!

I wont even bother to go into the one (youngest again ) that punched me at the checkout counter after telling him I didnt have any change for the gumball machine and he screamed YOU NEVER HAVE ANY MONEY!

Everybody laughs at that point. Either they're laughing at me or with me, but in any case, it's cool to relax a little bit and realize that it's not up to us as parents to shape our kids into perfect little angels. Never happens.

Love

Dallas

 

[DallasApple]

how good they are at the table, how they were potty trained by 18 months, how they make their own lunches every day, how this and that and the other.....

I take that back mine were potty trained really early too..One time my middle son amazed me by pulling his pants down and squatting behind a chair and taking a dump in the shoe dept. :yes: I was so proud I bragged and bragged ..

He's the same one that set my bed on fire while I was alseep when he was 3 1/2.(

He's was also an escape artist ..'would Lana please come pick up your child Gaige in the fine jewelry dept" over the loud speakers made my heart beam with pride that he could be the next David Copperfield.

Love

Dallas

 

[Herr Heinrich]

I do believe that obviously there was a problem in how the parents raised this child, but to handcuff a six year old? That seems a little extreme to me. Also they should not be able to just drag her off to a mental health facility. Yes that behaviour is unacceptable, but the school officials should have found a way to calm her down or have restrained her until the parents came. Not take here away then have them come.

 

[DallasApple]

Yes that behaviour is unacceptable, but the school officials should have found a way to calm her down or have restrained her until the parents came.

That is fine ..but what way?

Specifically if it came down to restraining WHAT WAY do you suggest to RESTRAIN a six year old that you would find acceptable?

Love

Dallas

 

[Herr Heinrich]

That is fine ..but what way?

Specifically if it came down to restraining WHAT WAY do you suggest to RESTRAIN a six year old that you would find acceptable?

Love

Dallas

Seeing as I am no professional, I have no idea. I would have at least tried to comfort her and calmed her down. Maybe have given her a juice box and asked what was wrong. I mean it doesn't say if the school officials tried anything like this, but from the events that unfolded I doubt they tried hard.

 

[Demonic Kitten]

Seeing as I am no professional, I have no idea. I would have at least tried to comfort her and calmed her down. Maybe have given her a juice box and asked what was wrong. I mean it doesn't say if the school officials tried anything like this, but from the events that unfolded I doubt they tried hard.

But you have to keep in mind that the story in the OP was only one side of the story. And that was the story of the parents not the school.

 

[Herr Heinrich]

But you have to keep in mind that the story in the OP was only one side of the story. And that was the story of the parents not the school.

I know. That is why I said I don't know what they did. I am just saying that is doesn't seem like it was handled well at all. From anyone's point of view.

 

[DallasApple]

Seeing as I am no professional, I have no idea. I would have at least tried to comfort her and calmed her down. Maybe have given her a juice box and asked what was wrong. I mean it doesn't say if the school officials tried anything like this, but from the events that unfolded I doubt they tried hard.

IF ALL EFFORTS FAIL INCLUDING "JUICE BOXES" to calm the child .. HOW DO YOU SUGGEST RESTRAINING A CHILD IN THE THROWS OF A VIOLENT TANTRUM????

Love

Dallas

 

[Herr Heinrich]

IF ALL EFFORTS FAIL INCLUDING "JUICE BOXES" to calm the child .. HOW DO YOU SUGGEST RESTRAINING A CHILD IN THE THROWS OF A VIOLENT TANTRUM????

Love

Dallas

I suggest using taser at that point. Less collateral damage that way.

 

[DallasApple]

I suggest using taser at that point. Less collateral damage that way.

How is tasing a child that needs restraint "acceptable" but putting a handcuff on her is unesscessary use of force and traumatising?

Love

Dallas

 

[Herr Heinrich]

How is tasing a child that needs restraint "acceptable" but putting a handcuff on her is unesscessary use of force and traumatising?

Love

Dallas

Well odds are they won't remember the tasing(up to 50000 volts going into a child that size would probably cause memory loss of the incident. Especially since tasers are only safe on people 60 lbs and up). So no trauma there. Also since the child will be instantly immobilized there are no worries about them hurting themselves on he cuffs.

 

[McBell]

I suggest using taser at that point. Less collateral damage that way.

Woo Hoo!
That makes three of us.....

 

[DallasApple]

Im having dejavu but I will stil lsay WHATEVER!

Love

Dallas

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Lana, there really is nobody like you, and that is just awesome. :yes: