Wow, thanks for a great reply Matthew, yes I understand where you are right now, for I have been there also, I have schizophrenia, and I have been mad with an ax and put away fro it. If what you believe right now helps you then go for it, but I have noticed that you haven't been very happy with God for awhile now, and that is why I suggested you to give him a rest.
This belief in god can be very confusing to someone who has metal issues, lets face it we don't really know anything about God, except what we have read or have been told, and the experience that we believe is from God is in most cases, is nothing more than an echo from what we believe we already know about this God.
We need to work out why we need this God, what are we substituting this belief for, is it fear from whatever happened in the past, is it guilt from something we did ?. Anyway I hope you work it out, for your own good.............have you ever thought of Buddhism ?.