Alceste
Vagabond
Here it is again. Don't miss this opportunity to never be confused again.
OK, Sandy, here's a quick reference guide to help you determine who is a qualified statesperson and who is a goggle eyed lunatic. Make sure you print this off and keep it handy during the next election. Each Y answer counts as 1, each N is a zero.
THIS CANDIDATE:
a) in complete seriousness, mentions witchcraft, demons, or the wrath of God in the context of domestic or foreign policy discussions.
b) displays a profound and disturbing ignorance of human reproductive biology, for example by claiming that a woman can't get pregnant from a "legitimate rape".
c) uses vacuous, prejudicial, meaningless and / or inflammatory terms such as "feminazi", "lamestream media", or "terrorists" (to refer to peaceful political dissidents).
d) does not understand what is meant by commonly used phrases in political discourse, such as "the Bush doctrine"
e) denies the reality of climate change
f) denies the reality of evolution
g) thinks "the terrorists hate freedom", as opposed to hating American foreign policy.
h) uses his or her position of authority to persecute others due to insignificant personal vendettas.
i) considers Ayn Rand an inspired economic theorist: dismisses the arguments of real economists in favour of exclusively promoting her nutty fictional romance novel characters' vision of a perfect world.
j) literally rapes the words "agenda", "liberal", "socialist", "feminist" or "terrorist" to death in every speech and is overly, disturbingly fond of the phrase "cramming it down our throats" when discussing issues pertaining to homosexuality.
Scoring chart:
0 - 2: Not an American politician.
3 - 5: Qualified statesperson
6 - 8: the danger zone
9 - 11: Goggle-eyed lunatic
THIS CANDIDATE:
a) in complete seriousness, mentions witchcraft, demons, or the wrath of God in the context of domestic or foreign policy discussions.
b) displays a profound and disturbing ignorance of human reproductive biology, for example by claiming that a woman can't get pregnant from a "legitimate rape".
c) uses vacuous, prejudicial, meaningless and / or inflammatory terms such as "feminazi", "lamestream media", or "terrorists" (to refer to peaceful political dissidents).
d) does not understand what is meant by commonly used phrases in political discourse, such as "the Bush doctrine"
e) denies the reality of climate change
f) denies the reality of evolution
g) thinks "the terrorists hate freedom", as opposed to hating American foreign policy.
h) uses his or her position of authority to persecute others due to insignificant personal vendettas.
i) considers Ayn Rand an inspired economic theorist: dismisses the arguments of real economists in favour of exclusively promoting her nutty fictional romance novel characters' vision of a perfect world.
j) literally rapes the words "agenda", "liberal", "socialist", "feminist" or "terrorist" to death in every speech and is overly, disturbingly fond of the phrase "cramming it down our throats" when discussing issues pertaining to homosexuality.
Scoring chart:
0 - 2: Not an American politician.
3 - 5: Qualified statesperson
6 - 8: the danger zone
9 - 11: Goggle-eyed lunatic
