Hi
This is my first post here
I was doing a search on the net for mystics etc and this thread came up
So this is my Experience of God as follows with some facts beforehand so that it may be helpfull.
I was a normal man, Beautifull Wife, Stepdaughter dog cat cockatiel, sports Bikes, Sports cars, house in the Country ............
I had no incline for Religion and if anything avoided it...............
My first remembered dream was of floating in the infinite Universe in a cofin - There was no box but the closest i can describe was of floating in eternal death
This was not frightening and I was perhaps 4 yrs old
Aged about 11 onwards I Expereinced vivid dreams which would actually happen months later - Once I proved it was real to my parents by describing events to take place before they happned - They did, exactly as I had said
Aged about 25 I looked upon a scene one day and everything turned a golden tinge, I was for a just a few moments enveloped in peace and Love...............My focus at the time was on man sawing some wood............what is quite funny was that after the event my mind said "perhaps you are turning gay" lol - I new this was not the case.............but the experience like the dreams felt normal and no big deal.....
So it is important to say
I read nothing Religious or spiritual at all........nothing other that what follows and maybe one trip or two to church for school where I took no notice other than to register how uncomfortable prayer mats are.
In 1997 I sat one day and asked "Who / What is God"
A day or so after the JWs knocked at the door and given my question in my mind I invited them in
They visited once a week for an hour for about three months............
At the end of that period I moved home and the connection was broken..........But i had formed my own opinion
There appeared to be two Gods spoken of in the Bible
One the God of Love
The other
Pyscho God
It reminded me of a character such as Hitler, demanding worship and if I was to disobey - Burning me for all eternity.............
This made no sense to me and I found my self making the following statement from my heart...........
"If God is Love then he will show me because a loving Father would show his lost child the way home, AND If God is not Love then I want no part of him, and If that means i burn forever then so be it.............Nothing I can do about that"..........
And so ended my search of Religion.........so I thought.
My life has often felt like it was on traintracks and this was no exception
Also important to add, I had always felt "looked after" but I havent a clue why or where that thought came from...
So onwards
Life seemed to be good for the next few years, perfect wife, home, good job, daughter etc etc - normal everyday type life and weekends out on the Bike......
1999 and I marry my wife........Three months later she has a huge mental breakdown and begins self harming - given 3 months to live..........
I refuse to accept this and know that Love will see us through
Love now becomes something different to the prior meaning I had - lessons are learnt of what Love is and isnt, in particular that Loves LOVES and asks nothing.
2003 and I see all as "alright" and somehow just walk past judgement, I see people with compassion - Saddam Terrorists etc and I am led to see how I cannot judge another .........also led to see that we are only what we are because of past learning .........led to see we are all the same when that past is removed
This all still feels normal whatever that is...........
Songs are making huge impacts on me know and I am speaking to work collegues naturally about the importance of Love above all esle
I see now things that were important as meaningless
I sit to watch a film that I really had an urge to see and while i watch i have an inner dictations going through my mind showing me that the character is just like me
And then during the film there is a moment of intense Love - A part of the film where a huge lump wells in the throat and tears well in the eyes and I am in that "normal" place of intense Love....................but this does not stop where it normally would
Slowly and ever so gently I am filled/Lifted with LOVE - Now beyond anything describable
All is Black..........there is no body...........I am not body..........
Then in front lights, two yet one, white yet not bright nor dim. I recognise them.....dear freinds.
They speak without words and beckon for me to look to their left and I do..........
The LOVE is now .................... undescribable
LOVE
I am Eternal, I am Love, I am Everything
And then the circle of Light Love still growing and lifting into Infinity
And then "Of course"
I Remember
This is I
I am that I AM
I have no real words for anything past this point because it is an EXPEREINCE of indiscribable LOVE.........................................
I understand worship, grace, AWE
I know my Father
I KNOW
The thought "the others" is given to me and then I am slowly and so gently returned into body................
My wife looks at me bewildered as I sob in joy..............All I can offer is "I know I know"
There are no words...............
I know, WE ARE ALL ONE, THERE IS ONLY LOVE..............All is in THOUGHT.
For a year afterwards I could be likened to a bunny in headlights..........No way of sharing what I know in words, yet so wanting to be able to touch ALL with this knowing...
One day I get an urge to visit an old freind of my Mums and off i go on my Bike
I arrive a few days later and she gifts me a book.............I know without opening it that is why I am there and so come home.........
I sit and read and nod and laugh.........little pointers of the Expereince written through its pages...................and then I come to this in which is written what I could not put into words
It does not attempt to describe the Love which is beyond all symbols but it does describe perfectly the Expereince of God (I prefer the symbol LOVE)
............
T-21.I.6. Listen,-perhaps you catch a hint of an ancient state not quite forgotten; dim, perhaps, and yet not altogether unfamiliar, like a song whose name is long forgotten, and the circumstances in which you heard completely unremembered. 2 Not the whole song has stayed with you, but just a little wisp of melody, attached not to a person or a place or anything particular. p446 3 But you remember, from just this little part, how lovely was the song, how wonderful the setting where you heard it, and how you loved those who were there and listened with you.
T-21.I.7. The notes are nothing. 2 Yet you have kept them with you, not for themselves, but as a soft reminder of what would make you weep if you remembered how dear it was to you. 3 You could remember, yet you are afraid, believing you would lose the world you learned since then. 4 And yet you know that nothing in the world you learned is half so dear as this. 5 Listen, and see if you remember an ancient song you knew so long ago and held more dear than any melody you taught yourself to cherish since.
T-21.I.8. Beyond the body, beyond the sun and stars, past everything you see and yet somehow familiar, is an arc of golden light that stretches as you look into a great and shining circle. 2 And all the circle fills with light before your eyes. 3 The edges of the circle disappear, and what is in it is no longer contained at all. 4 The light expands and covers everything, extending to infinity forever shining and with no break or limit anywhere. 5 Within it everything is joined in perfect continuity. 6 Nor is it possible to imagine that anything could be outside, for there is nowhere that this light is not.
T-21.I.9. This is the vision of the Son of God, whom you know well. 2 Here is the sight of him who knows his Father. 3 Here is the memory of what you are; a part of this, with all of it within, and joined to all as surely as all is joined in you. 4 Accept the vision that can show you this, and not the body. 5 You know the ancient song, and know it well. 6 Nothing will ever be as dear to you as is this ancient hymn of love the Son of God sings to his Father still.
T-21.I.10. And now the blind can see, for that same song they sing in honor of their Creator gives praise to them as well. 2 The blindness that they made will not withstand the memory of this song. 3 And they will look upon the vision of the Son of God, remembering who he is they sing of. 4 What is a miracle but this remembering? 5 And who is there in whom this memory lies not? 6 The light in one awakens it in all. 7 And when you see it in your brother, you <are> remembering for everyone. p447
ACIM
Since then I have come to recognise many writings speaking of the same things
Pauls speaks of the "rushing winds" - same
Moses - Burning Bush - same
Bahai - Eternal Fire
Dante - Eternal Fire
and on and on and on
Zen teachings also
Bhudda
Gnostics
Hindi
The list is endless
I also see the message of God in songs - thousands of them - currently in the charts - Gods message is Everywhere and none can miss it when they choose to look ...........
The Kingodm of Heaven is NOT within you
IT IS YOU
So, GOD Loves you ALL with no exceptions
All we have to do is look with those same eyes upon ALL
Ohhhhh and if i forgot to mention it, There is no death
So how to Expereince God
Forget Theology
Forget Good or bad
Forget judgement
LOVE, Expereince LOVE
God IS LOVE
ALL return Home
I hope this is helpfull