Priyadarshan
Member
Hello everyone. By birth, I'm a Hindu, a member of genZ as they'd say. By profession, I'm an environmentalist, though I wish to switch my career to administration, so I'm currently working to gain such an employment.
Not that long ago, like hardly until 2-3 weeks ago, I was deeply immersed in the materialistic illusions of this Earth, things like money, appearance, respect from everyone, sense of superiority, female attention, etc used to matter a lot to me. But with the gradual turn of time, I find myself completely detached from these things. I find thesebthings futile. Even the very definition of "LOVE", its meaning, its objectives, destiny, etc., everything has changed for me. Now, I find that God is the only love that exists, and the love for him is everything. God is the most beautiful being; the kindest, the strongest, the loveliest, the most compassionate and yet the most destructive.
My dilemma is that I know I have committed several sins in the past, and most of the people who have suffered because of my sins, don't talk to me and probably won't ever forgive me. I come from a conservative family. Moreover, I'm an extremely shy, introverted and closed person. So, I cannot even tell my family members about my sins, since I do not wish to disturb them or hurt them in any manner. Yet, the weight of all these sins stands too heavy on my soul and I don't even know what to do about it. I feel like I have wasted this wonderful opportunity provided to me in the form of life, caused pain and sufferings to others, lied, cheated, trashed myself, spoilt my body, stained my soul... Is there anyway I can get over it? Will God ever forgive me? Will those people ever understand my emotions, and will they ever forgive me? If I am able to bring lots of joy and happiness for my family someday, then I hope that I'll be able to tell them about my sins.. But will they forgive me either? I just feel like I have let God down. How to get over it?
Not that long ago, like hardly until 2-3 weeks ago, I was deeply immersed in the materialistic illusions of this Earth, things like money, appearance, respect from everyone, sense of superiority, female attention, etc used to matter a lot to me. But with the gradual turn of time, I find myself completely detached from these things. I find thesebthings futile. Even the very definition of "LOVE", its meaning, its objectives, destiny, etc., everything has changed for me. Now, I find that God is the only love that exists, and the love for him is everything. God is the most beautiful being; the kindest, the strongest, the loveliest, the most compassionate and yet the most destructive.
My dilemma is that I know I have committed several sins in the past, and most of the people who have suffered because of my sins, don't talk to me and probably won't ever forgive me. I come from a conservative family. Moreover, I'm an extremely shy, introverted and closed person. So, I cannot even tell my family members about my sins, since I do not wish to disturb them or hurt them in any manner. Yet, the weight of all these sins stands too heavy on my soul and I don't even know what to do about it. I feel like I have wasted this wonderful opportunity provided to me in the form of life, caused pain and sufferings to others, lied, cheated, trashed myself, spoilt my body, stained my soul... Is there anyway I can get over it? Will God ever forgive me? Will those people ever understand my emotions, and will they ever forgive me? If I am able to bring lots of joy and happiness for my family someday, then I hope that I'll be able to tell them about my sins.. But will they forgive me either? I just feel like I have let God down. How to get over it?