Hindu Anger Management Class

[Planets and the Sun]

I have had anger issues in the past. I don't know of any Hindu-specific classes but you could try to talk to a therapist. That helped me greatly, as it helped me have a space to vent my anger, and to learn how to deal with it in a healthy way that did not endanger myself and others. A good therapist is trained professionally to help people find coping mechanisms and to help them understand themselves better, many of them have their CVs online so you can see what their speciality is also (some of them specialise in specific disorders or forms of therapy, from behavioral therapy to art therapy and many others). I found it really helped me so you could give that a chance.

It may also help to try to find group therapy, sometimes sharing experiences with others and being assigned exercises to work on as a group can help as well. It just depends on your personality.

In addition to seeking help, apologising from the bottom of your heart as others have said and trying to find a way to control yourself is very important. For me, understanding the causes of my anger and knowing when it was flaring up, as well as what to do when that happened, helped me control it better.

 

[Vinayaka]

Personally, I don't trust western therapists because generally it's a different world view. They deny the existence of God/Gods. Ganesha is the best therapist.

But that's just me.

(Edited to qualify ... I had one psychologist who did help some ... he asked me, "What would your Guru say?" That actually helped, visualising help from the Guru.

 

[Vinayaka]

Just wanted to add one thing ... Anger management is seen as an obligatory discipline.

 

[Planets and the Sun]

Personally, I don't trust western therapists because generally it's a different world view. They deny the existence of God/Gods. Ganesha is the best therapist.

But that's just me.

(Edited to qualify ... I had one psychologist who did help some ... he asked me, "What would your Guru say?" That actually helped, visualising help from the Guru.

I've never had a Western therapy denying the existence of God, and in fact some of the ones I know are religious in their private lives. They just have a policy (if they're reputable in the slightest) to not bring in religion into their office room. This is because if they were for example, Christian and were helping a Muslim patient, this could end up being offensive and seen as proselytising (that would be very unprofessional and do more harm than good for the patient). However, they'll take your personal beliefs into account, in my experience, if you tell them what they are and what that means for your worldview. They may even go to the trouble of researching it if they don't know much about it. Unless they're close-minded bigots who will judge you based on your religion, but you have as many chances of finding a therapist like that as you do of finding a lawyer, a doctor, or teacher who is like that.

 

[Kalidas]

ShivaFan: After sadhana this AM, I have a few further thoughts. It's odd how my daily reading often fits discussions on here. Firstly, for the serious bhaktar, serious devotee, anger is totally unacceptable. The very fact you showed the degree of remorse you did indicates you know this already. However, this idea of it being unacceptable is contrary to the pop psychology of the west. They often say 'it's okay to get mad' but for us, since we want to be higher than that, it isn't. For the Hindu, one who is seriously seeking progression on the path, they look in the mirror, and say 'this is unacceptable ... PERIOD. It's no different than quitting smoking, quitting alcohol, etc. Any serious practitioner ever hoping to sustain successful inner states of mind has to also quit anger.

Anger is in the second chakra below the muladhara. It's an instinctive emotional response and any hope of kundalini rising up and above the muladhara is futile if we don't harness our anger.

For people who are under the guidance of a Satguru, and if they confess to the Satguru, he would most likely assign a penance of some sort. It might be kavadi for serious stuff like physically injuring another human, or it might be something as simple as skipping a meal. But the main idea with atonement penance is to impress the mind with the fact that 'This is unacceptable!" in no uncertain terms. Penances will do that for a person. But without the advice or benefit of a Satguru you can call up, an individual can give themselves a penance.

Another thing people do is have a 'curse jar' and each time they curse, or get mad, they put a dollar in the jar, later to be donated to a charity. (I once saw this in a pool hall. The jar was generally full.)

Now ... just who is this unacceptable to? Mainly just the angry individual. That's who it is that caused the anger. people who say ... "My spouse made me angry." etc, are putting the blame somewhere else, and in a sense, excusing their own behaviour. That is a false way of looking at it. It is you who got angry. Your emotions, your heart rate, your clenching of fist, your volume raised. Nobody else did that. So the responsibility is yours and yours alone. Of course wise people also don't go around pushing buttons just to make someone else angry. (But then teenagers aren't necessarily the wisest either.) Karma of the negative kind would occur if we did that.

Best wishes in the next few days.

Now I have a question. Is it seen as unacceptable to FEEL anger or just to act on it. I agree acting on anger is bad and helps nothing, but to feel it is just basic biology. Anger is a natural reaction to something we have an inclination to be adverse to. I don't feel it is bad to recognise this and can help VERY much in trying to understand what it is that makes you angry so you can be ready before it happens. If I know that person at work is going to anger me I can get ready for it.

 

[Kalidas]

Personally, I don't trust western therapists because generally it's a different world view. They deny the existence of God/Gods. Ganesha is the best therapist.

But that's just me.

(Edited to qualify ... I had one psychologist who did help some ... he asked me, "What would your Guru say?" That actually helped, visualising help from the Guru.

They are not supposed to. If you have a therapist outwardly express their belief that Gods do not exist complain about them. That is inappropriate for them to do so.

 

[Vinayaka]

I've never had a Western therapy denying the existence of God, and in fact some of the ones I know are religious in their private lives. They just have a policy (if they're reputable in the slightest) to not bring in religion into their office room. This is because if they were for example, Christian and were helping a Muslim patient, this could end up being offensive and seen as proselytising (that would be very unprofessional and do more harm than good for the patient). However, they'll take your personal beliefs into account, in my experience, if you tell them what they are and what that means for your worldview. They may even go to the trouble of researching it if they don't know much about it. Unless they're close-minded bigots who will judge you based on your religion, but you have as many chances of finding a therapist like that as you do of finding a lawyer, a doctor, or teacher who is like that.

You're probably right. I was just reflecting personal experience, and have no idea really. I do know they use to put mystics away as crazy, but that was years ago. I certainly wouldn't share any personal mystic experiences with one.

Something as relatively simple as anger management wouldn't involve that though.

 

[Vinayaka]

They are not supposed to. If you have a therapist outwardly express their belief that Gods do not exist complain about them. That is inappropriate for them to do so.

Probably not that I objected to ... more just in the methods of dealing with it. We are on a different planet.

 

[Kalidas]

Probably not that I objected to ... more just in the methods of dealing with it. We are on a different planet.

That can be the case. If you are having a psychological problem one should seek the help that will HELP THEM. Some find Western psychology helpful some don't do what is right for you.

 

[Vinayaka]

Now I have a question. Is it seen as unacceptable to FEEL anger or just to act on it. I agree acting on anger is bad and helps nothing, but to feel it is just basic biology. Anger is a natural reaction to something we have an inclination to be adverse to. I don't feel it is bad to recognise this and can help VERY much in trying to understand what it is that makes you angry so you can be ready before it happens. If I know that person at work is going to anger me I can get ready for it.

Depends on the level of the aspirant. Young souls get mad all the time, it's their way of life. Old souls just don't. But then there is everything in between. So it depends where you are. Not acting on it its a great step, yes, but not feeling it all would be a ton better.

So as SB's story represented, it's a progression. Let's compare it to quitting smoking. Quitting is great, but it sure feels a lot better when you know longer have cravings.

Or ... your transition to vegetarianism. Eventually it will be a total non-issue, and you won't even even think about it. So with anger it's the same thing. You CAN train yourself not to be angry, and instead, all you get is a thoughtful reflective observation. This is sadhana. This is progress. Once consciousness is permanently residing above the muladara, you CAN'T get angry, even if you tried. Wouldn' that be a nice way to live the rest of your life?

 

[Kalidas]

Depends on the level of the aspirant. Young souls get mad all the time, it's their way of life. Old souls just don't. But then there is everything in between. So it depends where you are. Not acting on it its a great step, yes, but not feeling it all would be a ton better.

So as SB's story represented, it's a progression. Let's compare it to quitting smoking. Quitting is great, but it sure feels a lot better when you know longer have cravings.

Or ... your transition to vegetarianism. Eventually it will be a total non-issue, and you won't even even think about it. So with anger it's the same thing. You CAN train yourself not to be angry, and instead, all you get is a thoughtful reflective observation. This is sadhana. This is progress. Once consciousness is permanently residing above the muladara, you CAN'T get angry, even if you tried. Wouldn' that be a nice way to live the rest of your life?

HHmmm okay...yeah I can get behind this idea lol. So it's not about denying the existance of our bodies biological needs but to rise above them

 

[Vinayaka]

HHmmm okay...yeah I can get behind this idea lol. So it's not about denying the existance of our bodies biological needs but to rise above them

Yes! We are not physical bodies, but souls on a mission. We don't need to be controlled by our emotions, our drives. Many people don't even realise they have this choice.

 

[Jainarayan]

And when Shiva burnt Kama to a crisp?

 

[Planets and the Sun]

You're probably right. I was just reflecting personal experience, and have no idea really. I do know they use to put mystics away as crazy, but that was years ago. I certainly wouldn't share any personal mystic experiences with one.

Something as relatively simple as anger management wouldn't involve that though.

Not all of them see mysticism as crazy, of course that depends on the person as I said. Many therapists would probably work with the patient to help them, if for example they were having hallucinations they could not tell apart from mystic experiences and it was starting to ruin their life and hurt theirs or that of people around them. Some therapists are likely to not be very open-minded but others are.

And you're correct, something like anger management wouldn't really involve much talk of mystical experiences. This would probably be for cases like what I said above. In anger management it could come up when discussing your life history but in my experience, therapists won't force you to talk about something you don't feel comfortable talking about (especially since this can negatively impact patients, for example, if they had a traumatic experience and don't feel like they can talk about it and need time to build trust with the therapist). If you find one that is open-minded enough, what they might do is even help you find a way to manage your anger by addressing what is causing it and help you find a positive way to channel it. If they're open-minded this can involve religion, for example, recommending that in addition to the exercises they recommend you to do, that you also use your own spiritual philosophy and practices to deal with anger.

Hope this helps.

 

[Vinayaka]

I can't ever see myself needing a therapist, and we sort of derailed Shivafan's thread. Whatever works for the individual.

 

[Kalidas]

I can't ever see myself needing a therapist, and we sort of derailed Shivafan's thread. Whatever works for the individual.

Agreed and he asked for the Hindu perspective which I think you offered well enough.

 

[ShivaFan]

Everything is cool and appreciated from everyone. Much better perspectives than I would have thought of! So now off to get flowers! Which is always a fun adventure. Om Namah Sivaya

 

[Planets and the Sun]

I can't ever see myself needing a therapist, and we sort of derailed Shivafan's thread. Whatever works for the individual.

I completely agree, I think people should do what works best for them. Just as with mental illnesses, some people prefer group therapy, others individual talk therapy, others medication, and others a mix of these, etc. Everyone is different.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to derail the thread, just offer some insight into an option that could be used in complement with an anger management class. It was not my intention to derail it or say that Hindu-specific methods wouldn't work since as I said, I think different things work for different people.

 

[ShivaFan]

 

[Maya3]

They are beautiful!!

Maya