Hindu Anger Management Class

[Amrut]

Namaste ShivaFanji,

I have not read all replies, so my advise may be repetitive (sorry if it is, dont get angry )


I would suggest you to please have just be aware of breathing for 10 minutes. Do not control it, do not force to breath, you are going to die . If thoughts come, then do not pay attention.

Be aware of tip of nose from where breath comes out and in (dont stare at it), just be aware.

Practice this same place same time for 10 minutes for a month. Your breathing pattern will change.

Later you will be able to get more hold on breathing. Mind an breath are connected. If you can control one, you can control another. Controlling mind is difficult. So control breath.

When you are in pleasant mood, breathing is calm and slow. When you are angry, breathing is fast and furious

So just be aware of breathing. It is like a big bro is staring at you. Soon your anger will feel ashamed and will fade away.

Most imp thing to do is to strongly decide that - when angry, I will not react. Later on you can discuss the matter when things cool down, probably next day.\\

Later on you can practice anuloma-viloma (equal inhalation, equal exhalation)

Do you know your breathing? How do you breath?

Is your exhalation short and inhalation long? OR
is your inhalation and exhalation both short?
Do you experience jerks while breathing in and out?

Hari OM

 

[ShivaFan]

This is actually one of the best advices yet, Amrut.

And though I have not practiced this art in decades, I recall being taught this method as you describe at one location (a Mandir, almost 100 percent sure it was Arya Samaj) near a beach front off Hwy 1 Marin County, as well as some inland Ashram in the "boonies" near Sausalito California. The later was just one time, but the Arya Samaj I recall stopping by 3 times, and they were keen on teaching me a few things for free. Your method indeed does work.

Om Namah Sivaya

 

[Vinayaka]

We've 'forgotten' how to breathe.

Even that can be unforgotten, with work.

 

[ShivaFan]

Namaste Vinayaka

Actually, sometimes I think I don't know how to breath. Seriously, not asthma, just like it "stops" and I have to think how.

And another example is when angry, I mess up on my breathing, if I get real, real angry, I forget how and sort of grope for breaths.

Maybe I have a medical condition.

But I definetly need to get back to Hindu breathing exercises as described by Amrut, especially to control anger. Because I know it has worked in the past (long time past!)....

But if I recall correctly, you are a practitioner of breath control, yes?

Om Namah Sivaya

 

[ratikala]

namaskaram shiva fan ji

I am sorry to hear of your problems , anger seems so much of a problem to many people these days ,

I would back what Amrut says entirely .

one thing I noticed coming to a Vaisnava temple from Buddhist practice is that allthough the attitude is very devout , the personal practice of meditiational preliminaries was missing , the focus was on serva , but today in this speedy world we need the meditive preliminaries all the more , we allways think to clense our bodies by washing but we forget to clense our minds .

this is something which is so important for all of us , when we wake in the morning we should take time to bathe the body , then we should just take a little time to purify the heart and mind before we chant or offer puja , even if we only sit in calm for a few minutes and focus on our breathing and our correct posture we will be seting ourselves up for a better day , we will be able to chant better , serve better and live better .
but the real trick is that by learning this control and practicing it everyday we become so familiar with it that we can call on it at any time of the day especialy at times of stress by just remembering to breathe properly . when we are tense our whole body changes , our posture stiffens our mind becomes inflexable and our heart closes , ...simply by learning to recognise these signs before we become too tense is very important .
when ever and for what ever reason we find ourselves in what might be a stressfull situation we should take a few moments to just stop everything ,... stop thinking and just direct the attention to the breath , sit back , streighten up and allow the body to relax as it takes one long and gentle inward breath , then as you exhale allow all the mounting tension to be exhaled with the breath . let this breath go gently and slowly and keep your focus on the tension sliping away , you will feel the tension leave your body and your posture will imidiately feel more comfortable, do this just a few times and you will feel the benifit streight away ....

I have a freind who likes to argue , ....that is just his nature , ...nothing is simple in his life , there is allways something to get stressed about and allways something to have a petty grumble about , ...now even being in this persons company is stress enducing for others , and many canot cope with him , ... but if one can practice this manner of maintaining ones own calm , then even angry and stresed people find it easier to calm down in your presence , ...it is very benificial for everyone not just for the self , this is very usefull in every aspect of life be it family relations or the work enviroment .

Actually, sometimes I think I don't know how to breath. Seriously, not asthma, just like it "stops" and I have to think how.

And another example is when angry, I mess up on my breathing, if I get real, real angry, I forget how and sort of grope for breaths.

Maybe I have a medical condition.

one thing which may be realy important is Diet , if we eat Rajasic and Tamasic foods we will feel the negative efects , ...we will all cope and perform better with a Satvic Diet .

Rajasic foods prompt passion and quick temper , tamasic foods prompt sloth and inertia and ignorance ....

Sattvic foods are pure and life giving everyone eating these foods will feel and live better .

But I definetly need to get back to Hindu breathing exercises as described by Amrut, especially to control anger. Because I know it has worked in the past (long time past!)....

prehaps you could suggest the whole fammily take on these practices as everyone will benifit from taking a small break from the stresses of daily life .

prehaps you could all take five minutes of meditation together before offering puja to Sri Ganesha he will I am sure be only to glad to grant you his blessings and remove all obsticals in your life .

with best wishes ...Ratikala

 

[Vinayaka]

But I definetly need to get back to Hindu breathing exercises as described by Amrut, especially to control anger. Because I know it has worked in the past (long time past!)....

But if I recall correctly, you are a practitioner of breath control, yes?

Om Namah Sivaya

I wouldn't say I'm a practitioner, but I do try. A couple of dentists have noticed and commented.

Yes, my view is that you eventually want to reprogram it, not just practice it occasionally. That helps reprogram it of course but a better long-term thing is to be naturally breathing diaphragmatically and rhythmically all the time except when exerting, but even then just the rate should increase.

But it's hard to measure how successful you are, because awareness keeps hopping around somewhere else.

Posture also is important so the lungs have room.

Once reprogrammed, a lot of things like anger would improve without you even being aware of it.

 

[ShivaFan]

Thank you all, everyone is so advanced! Also thanks for the latest advice and wisdom Vinayaka and Ratikala! VERY TRUE INDEED. By the way, things are going super, thanks to all.

 

[Amrut]

This is actually one of the best advices yet, Amrut.

And though I have not practiced this art in decades, I recall being taught this method as you describe at one location (a Mandir, almost 100 percent sure it was Arya Samaj) near a beach front off Hwy 1 Marin County, as well as some inland Ashram in the "boonies" near Sausalito California. The later was just one time, but the Arya Samaj I recall stopping by 3 times, and they were keen on teaching me a few things for free. Your method indeed does work.

Om Namah Sivaya

Namaste SF ji,

If it helps you, go ahead.

Temporarily, I think an autosuggestion may help you.

Also try to be with nature.

It is said that one should donate money to temple, be it Rs. 10.00. I helps us develop habit of let-go. Later on this quality of let-go will be an integral part of your spiritual life.

So just let go, just let go. Keep a big heart and let go.

If possible, please try to offer food to pigeons, cow and dog

Pigeons are innocent birds. Offering food and staying with them i.e. looking at them when they are eating your offered food grains will also induce this quality within you. It helps progress spiritually and reduce ego. Knowledge increases ego.

Also birds do not eat too much. They do not store any food. They are dependent upon prakruti for their survival. Even if more food is available they will leave it as it is.

cow patiently eats food. It brings patience in us. Dont just throw some stale roTI-s and then walk away. Give them green grass and be with them when the eat, atleast for some time.

Dog is considered very near to human. It is said that after leaving body of Dog, jiva in next birth enters into human body. I know know about the authenticity of this statement, just heard it form a saint and I trust him more than I trust myself.

Dog is a lively creature. That quality will be induced into you.

Watering plants and touching them with love helps a lot. They do respond. They smile back. Have you experienced it ? it is a good feeling.

Plants and trees have a quality of paropkAra. (dont know how to translate it into english).

Stay with nature. Nature never aggravate us. It is non-acceptance that produces resistance.

If possible eat veg food and fruits. If it is too costly, eat what is available. Do not think too much about food. IF options are available, select better food. Visit any temple nearby. That should help you.

Hari OM

 

[Amrut]

We've 'forgotten' how to breathe.

you ask this question to people and see their reactions. Most of them are clueless when asked - How do you breath

Later when you ask

Is inhalation longer than exhalation and vice versa, they get clue
Later ask them, does your breathing have jerks (breaks)

If you wish them to do some homework, and google for it, ask them, abdominal or stomach breathing?

 

[Vinayaka]

Perhaps poor breathing and poor eating are similar, caught in the sensory trap. Many people feed their taste-buds rather than the body, or better yet, the soul. Similarly, people think the nose is the organ of breath, whereas it's actually the diaphragm. It operates automatically, like the heart.

Just some crazy thought.

 

[ShivaFan]

Both of you note the role of food. That is a good point, the link between food and anger. I am already cutting back on spicy food and chat type food and salted peas and hot chickpeas. Making a difference. There certainly is a science to Hinduism.

 

[Aupmanyav]

I like spicy food, chat, salted/spicy peanuts, potato wafers. That must not be a major reason for anger or that there is something else which does not make me angry. I picked up the habit of not getting angry in my interaction with students in my job. They would ask different kind of questions, repeated questions, and I would reply patiently. My children were settled in their jobs by that time. I did not consider the students as any other than my children. On a normal day, I used to interact with upward of 200 students in eight hours. I think the realization that anger does not help in any way only makes things more difficult, made me eschew anger. There are better ways to deal with things. I do not mean to say that salt and chilies are good for health.

 

[Beena Jain]

Anger we must control. Brahma talks about "Self-Control." Controlling anger, greed, lust, envy, etc. There is talk about self control in all holy books, in all scriptures, in all religions. Losing self control, we are apt to do some wrong. Initially in Heaven, it resulted in sinning. This is why there is talk about self control, so that we will not sin and rise and reach Heaven, back home again, be Gods and Goddesses again who we used to be in Heaven before we fell from grace in Heaven. Laziness is behind all sinning/wrong doing/wrong thinking. So cure your laziness, and voila! Your addiction to anything will disappear. All problems resolved!

 

[Beena Jain]

I decided to leave! Goodbye!

 

[ShivaFan]

I like spicy food, chat, salted/spicy peanuts, potato wafers. That must not be a major reason for anger or that there is something else which does not make me angry. I picked up the habit of not getting angry in my interaction with students in my job. They would ask different kind of questions, repeated questions, and I would reply patiently. My children were settled in their jobs by that time. I did not consider the students as any other than my children. On a normal day, I used to interact with upward of 200 students in eight hours. I think the realization that anger does not help in any way only makes things more difficult, made me eschew anger. There are better ways to deal with things. I do not mean to say that salt and chilies are good for health.

Namaste and I suspected you were a teacher in some manner! I admit, certainly chat isn't the root of evil, or anger in the world. In fact, some of the best and friendly conversations I have had were in chat houses. But probably too mich chat isn't doing me good, healthwise, which indirectly contributes to an angry or crabby mood later. But considering your respected thoughts, I might have a sneek of chat now and then!

 

[Aupmanyav]

I decided to leave! Goodbye!

But you just started. Are you a Hindu Jain or a Jain Jain? We would have liked to hear more from you.

 

[Aupmanyav]

In fact, some of the best and friendly conversations I have had were in chat houses.

? It was not chatting. It was providing them information about admission to American universities. It was my job for some 15 years. Many of those boys and girls are professors in American universities. I did my little bit.

 

[ShivaFan]

? It was not chatting. It was providing them information about admission to American universities. It was my job for some 15 years. Many of those boys and girls are professors in American universities. I did my little bit.

Namaste Aupmanyav

Oh, sounds like I was misunderstood. I wasn't refering to chat as in internet chat conversations (e.g. I did not mean "chat" as in talking), I was refering to actual chat restaurants where actual Indian chat snacks are served such as samosas and pani puri, etc..

We have about five of them in my area now, these are typically not full scale restaurants but walk in, smaller, where you order your food - in this case chat- from a queue register and either eat it at small tables or take it with you. We also now have "chat stands" (mobile units set up outside and you eat sitting on the grass or to go) - funny, one often sets up next to a hospital here.

Anyway, what I meant was I have had so many nice conversations with patrons of such chat vendors while munching away on these delicious snacks. But, probably I eat TOO much chat actually.

Your previous job sounds interesting!

Om Namah Sivaya

 

[Aupmanyav]

Yes, I saw it on the TV. They even have Kolkata type Jhal/Moori (Gram/Rice puff). When my daughter and her husband (he speaks Bengali very well) were in New York, a Bangladeshi vendor offered them Jhal/Muri free (I think it costs one dollar for one pack) when he said কিভাবে জিনিষ, ভাই কি?