Gods standard for JW's is to marry someone in the religon, which excuse me, is a crock of bull.
Paul was giving 'advice' to unmarried christians and that advice is for the individual to either take on board or not. I was a JW and did not marry a JW...my husband is not a believer in religion. The elders in my congregation did not try to stop me from marrying an unbeliever and do you know why? Because its NOT a JW rule...it is given as 'advice' and the wise thing to do but it is most certainly not a 'rule'. My guess is that because your family are strict they have taught you that you must only marry another jw...but if you chose to marry a non believer im pretty confident you would not be disfellowshiped for it.
Elders shouldnt be ruling over anyone but they inforce the rules and if you disagree and decide to get away from it they arent suppose to talk to you.
The WT society tells elders the same thing. They are not allowed to make decisions for the members of the congregation....we are encouraged to live by our own conscience toward God based on accurate knowledge of his word. The elders are there only to teach, not to tell us what we can and cant' do.
Yes they are there to ensure that willful wrongdoers are removed from the congregation, but that is only to be expected of a religion who takes Gods word seriously enough to keep those who are not willing to abide by his standards out.
If you turn gay they arent suppose to talk to you if you find a mate.
If you choose a lifestyle that is opposed to Gods standards, then yes, you will be disfellowshiped and the congregation will be required to not talk to you. But disfellowshiped people can still attend meetings...its not like they will be locked out.
The goal is for them to come back and the door is always open for them.
It would be a bad move to become baptized because if you choose to not obey just one rule, you get disfellowshiped and are ignored by the whole congrigation, and even your family as it is RULE.
here is an excerpt from a WT article of 1981 entitled
'If a Relative is Disfellowshiped'
10 Similarly, if a relative, such as a parent, son or daughter, is disfellowshiped or has disassociated himself, blood and family ties remain. Does that mean, then, that in the family circle everything remains the same when one member is disfellowshiped? Definitely not.
11 A disfellowshiped person has been spiritually cut off from the congregation; the former spiritual ties have been completely severed. This is true even with respect to his relatives, including those within his immediate family circle. Thus, family memberswhile acknowledging family tieswill no longer have any spiritual fellowship with him."
It is only spiritual fellowship which is refrained from. The family may still all live together and go shopping together and eat together etc...but its in spiritual matters that the disfellowshiped no longer participates...things such as family studies and witnessing or visiting other JW families for dinner.
I'm not trying to offend you i just dont think you understand.
Or your part is bending the rules, or you arent grasping them.
Its ok, im not offended at all. I can see that your experience has been much different to mine and I feel for you growing up in such a strict environment. I did not grow up as a jw and i have no immediate family who are jw's. I have a 14 year old son who has decided he does not want to attend meetings anymore and Im ok with that, its his choice. Did you know that the WT Society also hold the view that young ones have the right to make their own decisions in such matters?
In the booklet 'jehovahs witnesses and education' they state:
Religiously Divided Households
...In practice, all children have to decide what religion they will follow. Naturally, not all youths choose to follow the religious principles of their parents, whether Jehovahs Witnesses or not.
Childrens Right to Freedom of Conscience
You should also know that Jehovahs Witnesses attach much importance to the individual Christian conscience. (Romans, chapter 14) The Convention on the Rights of the Child, adopted by the General Assembly of the United Nations in 1989, recognized a childs right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion and the right to express his or her opinion freely and to have that opinion taken into account in any matter or procedure affecting the child.
No two children are exactly alike. Therefore, you may reasonably expect some variations in the decisions that young Witnesses or other students make when it comes to certain activities and assignments at school. We trust that you also subscribe to the principle of freedom of conscience.
