How do I move out?

[T-Dawg]

I've lived with my rude and absurdly hypocritical parents for far too long - this is both my opinion and the opinion of said rude, hypocritical parents.

I want to be done with this. I want to get a job, buy/rent a living space, and get the heck away from my family so they can stop telling me how worthless I am (but of course they love me. Of course they do ).

Unfortunately, I have no idea how to do this. I can manage myself financially (and in fact have consistently wound up with surpluses when given a budget, ie, food money while at college), I have no idea how to find a job, let alone acquire one, I have no idea where to go to rent an apartment, or even how to write letters and physically pay a bill (these apparently are things most people know by instinct).

I realize it's unrealistic to move out by the end of the summer, but by the time next summer rolls around, I want to be prepared to finally get my family out of my life.


How do I start??? Most people have their parents to help them with this process, but I clearly do not have this option. I have no trusted adult figures in my life (nearly all adult contact in my life has been either temporary, ie, teachers, or with friends of my parents), and very few trusted figures of even my own age.

 

[England my lionheart]

To get a Job try writing a Curriculum vitae Curriculum vitae - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia and send it out to as many businesses or Agencies as possible.

To pay a bill is easy,you recieve a bill and you pay either by debit card or by cash at the Bank,the bill should have all the relevant information on it or you could set up a direct debit or standing order for bills like Gas and electric.

To rent your own place you will need a deposit,if its unfurnished you will need furnishing which you will need to budget for but you could buy second hand stuff,you will also need stuff like bedding,crockery and cutlery,a cooker Fridgeand washing machine,theres probably more but thats all i can think of at the moment.

 

[HiddenDjinn]

Exactly where are you? If I had a little more info, I could give you location-specific info. Also, a CV(resume) is unnecessary to find a job(at least a starter job), and paying bills varies by locale. The rest is pretty much accurate, but if you live in certain major urban areas of the US, it can be a little easier on you(homeless shelter system with someone who is motivated to teach you how to GTFO the shelter).

 

[T-Dawg]

Well, I'm currently in relatively small town in Missouri, and will be for the next couple of years while I finish college. I would really rather NOT stay in America beyond this time period (I'm not sure where I would move to, but Scandanavia is a prime region being considered; of course, my parents think the idea of moving out of country is absurd).

I have an Associate's Degree in Science at the moment (although ironically, I haven't received a physical copy of my high school diploma yet, my high school has yet to send it to me), but I don't know if that will help me get a job (especially since my interest is politics, not science, and in fact I'm not particularly good at science, although I get by), since most jobs I've heard of that will accept Associate's Degrees require specialized fields (ie, courses on nuclear physics for the nuclear technician occupation I was casually looking at a while back).
I have experience writing news articles, however, it all relates to political opinion pieces - while people unanimously praise my writing abilities, my hard-left and anti-Christian perspectives would not sit well in my area (if my parents are to be believed, the democrats in my town don't even bother wasting their time running because they know they have no chance whatsoever of winning).
I have done volunteer work in the past and continue to do volunteer work, shelving books at the local public library last summer and doing data entry for Americorp this summer. (However, I have no paid work experience whatsoever, although I did attend a 4-week job training program one summer that had me working unofficially at a few places.)


EDIT: Also, I currently have no driver's license, but will be taking my driver's test for the first time this week.

 

[HiddenDjinn]

Well, I'm currently in relatively small town in Missouri, and will be for the next couple of years while I finish college. I would really rather NOT stay in America beyond this time period (I'm not sure where I would move to, but Scandanavia is a prime region being considered; of course, my parents think the idea of moving out of country is absurd).

I have an Associate's Degree in Science at the moment (although ironically, I haven't received a physical copy of my high school diploma yet, my high school has yet to send it to me), but I don't know if that will help me get a job (especially since my interest is politics, not science, and in fact I'm not particularly good at science, although I get by), since most jobs I've heard of that will accept Associate's Degrees require specialized fields (ie, courses on nuclear physics for the nuclear technician occupation I was casually looking at a while back).
I have experience writing news articles, however, it all relates to political opinion pieces - while people unanimously praise my writing abilities, my hard-left and anti-Christian perspectives would not sit well in my area (if my parents are to be believed, the democrats in my town don't even bother wasting their time running because they know they have no chance whatsoever of winning).
I have done volunteer work in the past and continue to do volunteer work, shelving books at the local public library last summer and doing data entry for Americorp this summer. (However, I have no paid work experience whatsoever, although I did attend a 4-week job training program one summer that had me working unofficially at a few places.)


EDIT: Also, I currently have no driver's license, but will be taking my driver's test for the first time this week.

2 things:
1. You really need that driver's license in any rural area to be independent.
2. You've painted yourself into a corner as far as job skills are concerned. I suggest you find a politician that you like, and make yourself his/her servant(page, administrative assistant, whatever you want to call it). It's part time, but it works. You can pick up more hours of work at the library(again, part time) or at the local Democratic Party HQ.

 

[Songbird]

Sounds like you're getting that license soon, so I'd recommend putting your resume together next. Research some designs and learn what to put in the resume from a google search on the topic. Most companies ask for a resume and cover letter indicating you'd like to apply for the job. Good luck!

 

[T-Dawg]

Er, well, the thing is, the local area doesn't appear to HAVE a local democratic party. I found something in the yellow pages that would indicate their existence, but as of yet have found no information regarding local candidates or job offers.

 

[HiddenDjinn]

Er, well, the thing is, the local area doesn't appear to HAVE a local democratic party. I found something in the yellow pages that would indicate their existence, but as of yet have found no information regarding local candidates or job offers.

Call them. The entire world isn't on the internet. Go out and pursue a functional existence. You'll eventually find one.

 

[T-Dawg]

Also, if I was able to physically move out and get my own apartment, how would that work while I'm away at school for a majority of the year? Would I be able to only rent the apartment for while I'm away from school?

 

[HiddenDjinn]

Also, if I was able to physically move out and get my own apartment, how would that work while I'm away at school for a majority of the year? Would I be able to only rent the apartment for while I'm away from school?

College towns have landlords that negotiate leases of this manner all the time. You would want to talk to a realty company regarding getting an apartment.

 

[Draka]

Whatever job you end up getting, once you have income, have you thought about just getting your start as a roommate? Check your bulletin boards at school and see if anyone is looking for a roommate. Often times 2 or 3 college students, instead of living in dorms, will rent an apartment or house together. You would make arrangements with them as to splitting the bills and may even be able to commute to and from classes depending on schedules. This way you are out of your parents' home, but not completely on your own out of nowhere. A roommate situation might be the stepping stone you need.

 

[blackout]

There's also the option of renting a room in a shared apt. or house.

It's not uncommon especially amongst younger people.
It costs much less.

EDIT: Draka beat me to it.

 

[HiddenDjinn]

Yeah, Draka is right. Also, I've noticed that many college students who strike off on their own get hit with a major case of Depression at first. It may seem liberating, but in practice, the realization that one is truly alone is not comfortable.

 

[T-Dawg]

I've had experience with roommates in my past two years at college - while they were unpleasant both years, living in a dorm with a roommate and communal bathroom (I actually prefer communal, I dislike bathrooms that share a wall with other people's rooms) is VASTLY superior to living with my parents - the people are better, the food is better, the living space itself is often better (I tend to judge by utility rather than size), and I have access to friends and occasionally even respectable adult figures. I wish life would be more like a college campus - indeed, many of my political ideals are based off this.
That being said, there were times when my roommate (or rather, him and his friends) was intolerable. I don't know if I could put up with having a roommate that lasted for more than a couple years.

 

[blackout]

A housemate/apartment mate is different than a roommate.

Your room is YOURS.
This makes a BIG difference in having your own space,
and your own life.

 

[Draka]

Living in a house or large apartment where you have your own room and you share the living spaces is much different than sharing a dorm room. While you will have to work out how certain duties will be shared, such as shopping, cleaning and cooking and such, there is room to breathe. If you don't want to be bothered you can always shut up in your own room. If you want to be social you can join your roommates in the livingroom for some tv or video games or what-have-you. The living expenses will be much cheaper on you as they will be shared AND will you take a step towards learning how certain things are done. As in dealing with utilities, paying bills, and working with others towards shopping and food supply and so on.

Trust me on this much, just take the chance. Keep an eye on the bulletin boards at school. There will inevitably be someone who is looking for a roommate. And remember, when you meet them, you are as much interviewing them as they are you. You'll have all year while at school if you want to find a suitable place to move and a greater possibility of not having to go back to your parents come next Summer. Plus, when you are ready to move out on your own then you'll already have experience in how to deal with certain things.

 

[Kathryn]

Also you could look into garage apartments in a downtown area - a bus or subway line might also be available from there, I don't know. But in my town, garage apartment rent also often includes utilities, and they're very affordable - less than $400 per month sometimes. The upside would be that you're not sharing a space with anyone.

As for jobs - sounds to me like you're starting at Ground Zero, so you may want to look in the usual places for starter jobs - the mall, restaurants, fast food, etc - while you are still in school. You can always forge relationships for the future by writing articles for entities or publications that you feel a passion for, or doing a bit of volunteer work for the local political parties you have an affinity for, etc. But between work and school, your time will be very limited.

By the way, congrats to your parents and you - sounds like everyone will be much happier when you move out. 'Tis the natural course of things, and as a parent of five between the ages of 18 and 28, I can assure you that it's a great feeling when an adult child makes that move to be independent, especially one that's so blatantly frustrated by living at home. Good luck!

 

[T-Dawg]

What's a "garage apartment"? Does it refer to a specific type of apartment that bears resemblance to a garage?
$400 a month sounds pretty affordable. Lemme think, if I can make minimum wage (a little over $7?), then rent would cost about 57 hours worth of work, and most advice I've found on the internet says that rent should be about a third of my expenses, so I would want 171 hours of work a month at that rate... which, if I worked for 8 hours a day, would be about 21 days, which is well under a month - and that's not even factoring in that if I actually made minimum wage, I'd probably qualify for government support. Of course, I wouldn't be able to do this while at school (unless I had a higher wage so that I could work less hours).

The thing about volunteering for the local political parties... we don't appear to have them. I've found an address for the Democratic Party HQ (which suggests to me that my parents were, predictably, lying when they said that the Democrats don't run in my town), which I think I'll pay a visit to when I can (this will probably have to wait until I get my license), but I've found absolutely nothing on a local Green Party, Socialist Party, or Communist Party (at least the commies have the courtesy to post where all of their HQs are, but the nearest one is thousands of miles away >_<). Given the region of southern Missouri, I'd imagine that most if not all of them will be conservative democrats, which probably won't get along well with me.

 

[Tarheeler]

A couple of points-

Unless you foresee getting a fairly large amount of cash, moving out of the country probably won't be possible. A ticket alone will often cost over $1000, and many countries will require proof of income before allowing you stay there for an extended period of time.

Jobs, and policial parties, are more plentiful in larger cities. You wouldn't even have to go to St. Louis or KC; when I lived in Jeff City back in the 90s, both it and Columbia were growing quickly. And, as Yosi said, a CV isn't a necessity for most non-professional jobs. The employer will have you fill out an application whether you have a CV or not. One possible path to politics is to work a day job and then work as an unpaid intern for a political campaign or office untill you're seen as being valuable enough to warrant a paycheck. I've worked on a couple of campaigns, and that is a typical way in.

Living with roommates, while economically benificial, requires a lot of social finesse in order to work well. Just something to think about in your search.

 

[Revoltingest]

Some advice to ignore:
- Temp agencies let you find work quickly, & experience a variety of jobs. When you settle on a path, it's good to be familiar with those you didn't take.
- If really broke, hit up acquaintances with an offer to help pay the rent in exchange for crashing there. It would be a pain, but it beats living in a car or a self-storage unit.
- Limit the volunteer work to a spare time activity.