It'll likely be ignored, but that is good advice.
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How do I move out?
- Thread starter T-Dawg
- Start date
InChrist
Free4ever
I've lived with my rude and absurdly hypocritical parents for far too long - this is both my opinion and the opinion of said rude, hypocritical parents.
I want to be done with this. I want to get a job, buy/rent a living space, and get the heck away from my family so they can stop telling me how worthless I am (but of course they love me. Of course they do).
Unfortunately, I have no idea how to do this. I can manage myself financially (and in fact have consistently wound up with surpluses when given a budget, ie, food money while at college), I have no idea how to find a job, let alone acquire one, I have no idea where to go to rent an apartment, or even how to write letters and physically pay a bill (these apparently are things most people know by instinct).
I realize it's unrealistic to move out by the end of the summer, but by the time next summer rolls around, I want to be prepared to finally get my family out of my life.
How do I start??? Most people have their parents to help them with this process, but I clearly do not have this option. I have no trusted adult figures in my life (nearly all adult contact in my life has been either temporary, ie, teachers, or with friends of my parents), and very few trusted figures of even my own age.
I certainly hope you have success in establishing your own living situation, getting a job etc., but it sounds like you have a lot of bitterness within yourself which these things things may not necessarily remedy. Have your parents been abusive?
T-Dawg
Self-appointed Lunatic
What and where is a temp agency?
No - unless you agree that indoctrinating children with religion and failing to raise them effectively is abusive, then they're definitely abusing my sister. Fortunately, a combination of my natural independence and me getting extra non-parental help throughout my childhood as a result of having Asperger's Syndrome saved me. My sister, unfortunately, was born normal and thus far as chosen the path of watching TV and kissing up to authority, which includes believing anything her parents tell her and making fun of what I have to say.
The parents are very good at getting under my skin in subtle ways that other people won't understand or care about.
EDIT: When a job description says "Must be able to lift up to 50lbs as needed," does that mean that I will have to lift that on a regular basis? I notice that this seems to appear on most job descriptions I can find...
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A temp agency fills temporary positions at client companies. Some are specialized, such as accounting and office work, while others are general in nature and fill all kinds of jobs. Some jobs last one to a few days, while others can last months or lead to a permanent position. Really not a bad way to start out; a good agency will keep in steady work and, like Revoltingest said, you can gain a wide range of experience.
Workforce Management Solutions | Kelly Services - Home
Welcome to Manpower.com
Adecco - Temp Jobs | Full-time Jobs| Employment Agency | Temp Agency | Staffing Services
Check around your area. There are tons of them out there.
I just gave you a few quick examples. Keep looking and look in your area for local staffing companies.
ninerbuff
godless wonder
Hook up with an Asian. Then you'll be taken care of.I've lived with my rude and absurdly hypocritical parents for far too long - this is both my opinion and the opinion of said rude, hypocritical parents.
I want to be done with this. I want to get a job, buy/rent a living space, and get the heck away from my family so they can stop telling me how worthless I am (but of course they love me. Of course they do
Unfortunately, I have no idea how to do this. I can manage myself financially (and in fact have consistently wound up with surpluses when given a budget, ie, food money while at college), I have no idea how to find a job, let alone acquire one, I have no idea where to go to rent an apartment, or even how to write letters and physically pay a bill (these apparently are things most people know by instinct).
I realize it's unrealistic to move out by the end of the summer, but by the time next summer rolls around, I want to be prepared to finally get my family out of my life.
How do I start??? Most people have their parents to help them with this process, but I clearly do not have this option. I have no trusted adult figures in my life (nearly all adult contact in my life has been either temporary, ie, teachers, or with friends of my parents), and very few trusted figures of even my own age.
T-Dawg
Self-appointed Lunatic
Hook up with an Asian. Then you'll be taken care of.
I can't even hook up with anyone, let alone an Asian girl ("hook up" is slang for sexual intercourse, right?).
Kathryn
It was on fire when I laid down on it.
A garage apartment is a loft or some sort of attached apartment (usually a one room apartment) which is often above a garage (I had one which I rented out which was actually behind the garage, but attached to it). You can often find them in older neighborhoods - sometimes in very nice neighborhoods. They often were built to be maid's or handyman's apartments "back in the day." They usually have a very small kitchen, one bathroom, and then one large room.
I rented mine out for $250 a month, utilities included. The tenent parked on the street (not in my drive) and couldn't hang out in my yard, but he had a small patio area in the back which was his to use privately. He had a little grill and a table out there. I loved renting to him because he was quiet and he kept an eye on the place.
Staffing companies are a great place to start. You don't have to limit yourself to manual labor - you seem to be skilled enough for entry level clerical work. Check that out. You will have to go there, take some placement tests, get a drug screen, and then be available for work. Sometimes you have to call in every day or so to let them know you're still looking. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, you know?
I rented mine out for $250 a month, utilities included. The tenent parked on the street (not in my drive) and couldn't hang out in my yard, but he had a small patio area in the back which was his to use privately. He had a little grill and a table out there. I loved renting to him because he was quiet and he kept an eye on the place.
Staffing companies are a great place to start. You don't have to limit yourself to manual labor - you seem to be skilled enough for entry level clerical work. Check that out. You will have to go there, take some placement tests, get a drug screen, and then be available for work. Sometimes you have to call in every day or so to let them know you're still looking. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, you know?
T-Dawg
Self-appointed Lunatic
Ironically, that sounds like exactly what I want (irony is from a future politician living in what used to be servant's quarters
). I don't tend to have very complex needs - as long as I have a bathroom, an oven (NOT a microwave), a fridge, a bed, a desk, electricity, running water, internet access, and room to put it all in, I should be good to go (room to pace in is nice, but optional).From the sound of it, it seems like they're connected to another person's house. I haven't seen very many houses that look like they have a floor above their garage... Is this setup common?
EDIT: I can't seem to find anything available either in my hometown or the town the university is in... even the site specifically dedicated to garage apartments has nothing on my area.
EDIT: I found a regular apartment listed at $400 (was the cheapest thing I could find), and it looks pretty nice. When a price says "from $[price]," does that mean that's a maximum price that they're expecting me to haggle or is it a minimum price?
Of course, it would only be able to be a summer residence, since I'm at college for most of the year (my college town has absolutely NOTHING on it in any site I've looked on thus far. It's almost like it doesn't even exist... [yes, I checked the spelling, and I'm relatively certain it actually exists since I've physically been there]). I'm not sure if it would offer a rental plan that would leave me able to only rent it while I'm actually there, since coincidentally my hometown also has a college, which the landlord will probably be expecting potential buyers to go to (the apartment description specifically mentions that it's within walking distance of this other college).
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Kathryn
It was on fire when I laid down on it.
Hmmmm, issues. Most leases are for at least 6 months.
Here are a few other things to consider:
You usually are required to put up a deposit - often the equivalent of one month's rent. So that's two months rent up front. Then you have to have utilities turned on, and those also require deposits in most cases. So - to make a long story short, in order to rent a $400 a month place, you will probably have to front $1000 to $1200.
Frankly, this is why so many college students room together - it's much more economical on such a tight budget. Then you can work up to something more ideal over time.
Keep in mind that sometimes dealing with roommates is worse than dealing with parents!
Here are a few other things to consider:
You usually are required to put up a deposit - often the equivalent of one month's rent. So that's two months rent up front. Then you have to have utilities turned on, and those also require deposits in most cases. So - to make a long story short, in order to rent a $400 a month place, you will probably have to front $1000 to $1200.
Frankly, this is why so many college students room together - it's much more economical on such a tight budget. Then you can work up to something more ideal over time.
Keep in mind that sometimes dealing with roommates is worse than dealing with parents!
T-Dawg
Self-appointed Lunatic
I have about $400 or so in cash at the moment, and possibly another couple hundred in things that I could sell if I had to (some inexpensive jewelry, a scarf, a couple walking sticks, a cheap katana, a couple board games, etc). That won't get me anywhere close to $1000, though...
I don't need this apartment until the summer, though. I'm pretty sure they let students stay in dorms during breaks (although I'm not sure about Winter Break), so I won't have to worry about having to see my parents on the holidays (and no, I won't miss them. Ever since I've been a college student, I've NEVER once gone back home willingly). Winter break may be a problem, however, I think they might send us home then (I HATE Christmastime... I always have to spend time with family, and my parents always try to make me feel guilty by forcing me to pick out gifts that I want).
College town landlords know to have all tenants sharing an apartment/house sign a joint & several liability lease. This means that if one pays rent
or causes damage, all (ie, each & every one) is liable for it. Be careful signing one of those....you need to trust your roommates a whole lot.
Companies like Kelly & Manpower provide employees to companies who don't want to hire them directly. Often this is for temporary
work, but sometimes it's for long term employment for businesses who don't want to deal with the complexities & risks of employees.
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ScottySatan
Well-Known Member
All of the developed countries have a massive immigration problem and usually limit who can come in even more harshly than the US does.
You can't get legal permission to live in a foreign developed country unless you get a skilled full time job first. A company that sponsors your visa will usually have to tell the government why a citizen can't do this job, why they have to bring in a foreigner. You can't legally get sponsored for a full time job unless you have an unusual skill. Scientists, engineers, and business executives get sponsorship and permission to work in another country. Hardly anyone less skilled than that gets in.
You will not get a job in scandinavia unless you speak the language well.
InChrist
Free4ever
Realistically, before you can rent an apartment you are probably going to have to get a job and save some money toward rent, deposits, utilities, etc. But it sounds to me like you have a bad attitude. Although I don't know your actual situation with your parents or what they have done or not done. It seems your first step is to come to some sort of peace with them rather than running away from the situation. If you cant work out things with them then a job situation may be very difficult for you. Unless you are self-employed or the boss all other job positions require some measure of respect for authority. You may not agree with your parents on many things, but you should be able to be respectful and attempt to work things out. If you cant do this with your parents you may find a job situation difficult also.
You make it look like trouble with parents is always or nearly always the result of a lack of respect for the parents' authority, InChrist.
InChrist
Free4ever
No. not necessarily. As I said, I don't know what the actual situation is, but It does seem like T-Dawg's words and tone sound disrespectful and even hateful toward her (I think "her" is correct, but I could be wrong) parents and rather than dealing with the situation would rather run away from it.
Erebus
Well-Known Member
It may be worth speaking to some of the student help facilities, they often have people to help students in your position. Whether it's finding somewhere affordable to stay or finding a job, there's usually somebody to lend a hand.
Failing that, try looking into job centres and have a look online for student housing. Some student accommodations allow people to stay over summer. I would recommend signing on to a job centre as soon as possible, you'll need income if you're going to live away from your parents and you'll probably have to take any job you can get. Unfortunately you can't afford to be fussy about where you work in your situation.
Best of luck to you
T-Dawg
Self-appointed Lunatic
I guarantee you, they deserve every word of my hatred. They're rude, hypocritical, Christian, Republican, arrogant, ignorant and proud of it, and generally unsupportive of whatever it is I happen to be doing. The only positive thing I can say about them or their parenting is that mom is generally good with money and bureaucracy, and dad is ok to drive with. They are not the types of people I would feel comfortable with talking about starting my life - they would be the people who would make fun of every decision at best, and I wouldn't put it beyond them to try and cut college funding to pressure me on religion and miscellaneous stupid issues.
(Also, gender is usually visible at the top right corner of a post, where the location information is)