How do you approach religious education with your children?

[texan1]

I am grappling with how to handle the subject of religion with my children. (They are small right now - not in school yet). Of course you don't need religion to teach a child to be compassionate and thoughtful, but Christianity has certainly had a large impact on our literature, culture, holidays and even curse words . Many family and friends attend church. They need to be exposed to it - I don't want them to be ignorant of it - it just shouldn't be taught as absolute fact. I don't want to inhibit the natural love and curiosity they have of the world around them. I want them to think for themselves.

Just curious as to how any agnostic or non-theist parents out there have handled this and what types of challenges you have run into as your children got older?

 

[zenzero]

Friend Texan,
You have poted this in ATHEISM; which ofcourse makes no difference to the response but would deduce that no formal religion practices are followed by your family and you.
Rather that is a good start.
We are all born as free humans and the PATH /WAY/ RELIGION to follow should be a choice left to individuals as they grow.
children learn on their own by following their own intution; It is only by our directions /commands / etc that we bias their minds and destroy their natural /intiutiuve faculties.
As parents if we just live a honest, sincere life; children are bound to pick up these qualities on their own by intution only.
My suggesstion would there fore be to live life as parents as you want the children to follow by only a guide without any prejudice and never to have any bias opinion.
Love & rgds

 

[Nanda]

I'd like to recommend to you the book "Parenting Beyond Belief." It tackles a lot of these questions in an easy, realistic manner, and from several different viewpoints. I think you can get it on Amazon.

 

[texan1]

Thanks! I'll definitely check it out.

 

[Nanda]

Thanks! I'll definitely check it out.

Sure thing. I wish I coud give you more of a personal perspective, but my son's only six and we're still trying to figure it out ourselves.

 

[Storm]

You might also check out a lovely picture book called Old Turtle and the Broken Truth.

 

[Alex_G]

I am grappling with how to handle the subject of religion with my children. (They are small right now - not in school yet). Of course you don't need religion to teach a child to be compassionate and thoughtful, but Christianity has certainly had a large impact on our literature, culture, holidays and even curse words . Many family and friends attend church. They need to be exposed to it - I don't want them to be ignorant of it - it just shouldn't be taught as absolute fact. I don't want to inhibit the natural love and curiosity they have of the world around them. I want them to think for themselves.

Just curious as to how any agnostic or non-theist parents out there have handled this and what types of challenges you have run into as your children got older?

Im no parent yet at least, but i thout id give my input because i find this such an important topic. From what you've said id have no doubt you'll handle youre situation as i would, and in my eyes at least, the best way. All id advise you do is avoid introducing 'religious truths', as children are very impressionable at that age. (but u mentioned that already).

I can however give u a little input from the childs percpective. My brother and i both went to chapel all our childhood up to now, and neither of my parents are religious, but my mother felt it important for us to be able to experience that aspect of the local culture as did she. As it turns out it opened both our eyes to the philosophical nature of life, which we both find very intruiging. Interestingly though I became very atheist in nature, and read in chapel as a nice thing to do for the elderly people that attended. My brother on the other hand holds more belief and considers himself christian.

Everyone to their own, and everyone will carve their own path in life. Best thing parents can do is open all the doors as best as possible, so they can see where they want to tread.

 

[texan1]

Thank you Alex G - that's really great input! I also grew up going to church and went to a Catholic school for many years. Though I have also become more of a non-theist recently, I am grateful for the experience. But I also remember even as a young child carrying around a little bit of fear and emotional baggage and I certainly don't want to do that to my little ones. I don't know if I'll ever rid myself of the infamous "Catholic Guilt"

My parents never really talked religion much (except to say "Don't drink the wine when you go up for Communion - half the people in this church are drinking out of the same glass and you're bound to get sick!")

 

[Don Penguinoini]

Well, im just a kid... Teach them about all religions, as they were your very own.

 

[whereismynotecard]

If I had children, I would convice them to agree with me... If they really thought some other religion was true though, I wouldn't try to force them not to believe it... Like with my 10 year old sister... I inform her very much of my beliefs, and she doesn't agree completely, but at least she knows that her parents are not necissarily correct... What my point is, I guess, is that I am informing her that she can decide for herself what to believe, and that her parents might not be right... I think she is closer to my beliefs than theirs.

 

[+Xausted]

I am grappling with how to handle the subject of religion with my children. (They are small right now - not in school yet). Of course you don't need religion to teach a child to be compassionate and thoughtful, but Christianity has certainly had a large impact on our literature, culture, holidays and even curse words . Many family and friends attend church. They need to be exposed to it - I don't want them to be ignorant of it - it just shouldn't be taught as absolute fact. I don't want to inhibit the natural love and curiosity they have of the world around them. I want them to think for themselves.

Just curious as to how any agnostic or non-theist parents out there have handled this and what types of challenges you have run into as your children got older?

this is only how i have done it with my children, and everyone is different.
when my eldest (now 10) was little my mother wanted to take her to her church Sunday school. i did not allow it (as a none believer who thinks that church is looooooony). when she got to about 4 i relented. it did her no harm, and she only went once in a blue moon. both of my kids have always attended church schools, and the eldest believes but the youngest (7) is already questioning(today she asked me "if there was a God why did let bad things happen in the world.yipps!!!!). My eldest and i disagree and she think theology is a waste of time (that being my degree), but in the next breath tells me i am wrong for not believing in God!!! i say that she is ok to think how she thinks, and it is ok to think how i think
at festival/celebration(christmas, easter etc) times i explained what they where about, why they are celebrated, where it originates from etc. but also i do this still with other religions. to make a choice in life people must have ALL the facts, and by denying them any opening to them or slating others beliefs you could raise a bigoted person (but know you wont ).i tend to say things like "and Christian believe........, and Hindus believe........etc". just inform them when something relevent comes up.

 

[GadFly]

I am grappling with how to handle the subject of religion with my children. (They are small right now - not in school yet). Of course you don't need religion to teach a child to be compassionate and thoughtful, but Christianity has certainly had a large impact on our literature, culture, holidays and even curse words . Many family and friends attend church. They need to be exposed to it - I don't want them to be ignorant of it - it just shouldn't be taught as absolute fact. I don't want to inhibit the natural love and curiosity they have of the world around them. I want them to think for themselves.

Just curious as to how any agnostic or non-theist parents out there have handled this and what types of challenges you have run into as your children got older?

The best thing you can do for children is to teach them the art of thinking. It's like the art of walking. How does a child learn to walk? By walking. How dose a child learn to talk? By talking. How does a child learn to think? By thinking. A parent is the most influencing force on a child. A child learns to walk but the parent often holds his hand. Talking and thinking are the same.

No matter what you teach a child, even if it is not truth, if you teach him how to think and reason, he will figure things out for himself. If you teach a child how to reason, you have in effect immunized him against many of the factors that put children at-risk as they grow older. A good book that gives good tips on raising children, as it tells you what type of personality a parent needs to build in children, is Learned Optimism by Marin E.P. Seligman, Ph.D. It has been a national best seller and can be found at any local book store. It is rather deep reading but it will be well worth your time to read and take it to heart while your children are in the formative years. I suggest you Google on Seligman's name to check it out.
GadFly

 

[Kungfuzed]

I haven't really discussed it with my daughter. She's turning 8 this summer and plans on getting baptized in the LDS church, her mother has been taking her to church. My main concern is that she really has no idea what she's committing herself to. Having an 8 year old make what seems to be an eternal covenant is kind of silly if you think about it. But she seems to have her heart set on it and all the other kids her age are getting baptized too. I've been asking her questions like, why do you want to get baptized, and what is baptism for. Basically she's doing it because that's what you do when you're 8. I don't mind her going to church. I wouldn't want to deny her the social benefits of primary, and who doesn't want their daughter to stay a virgin until she's married? What I plan to do is teach her how to ask the hard questions, be honest with herself, and not be afraid to seek truth outside of her protective bubble.

 

[Point<]

I say raise your kids like religion doesn't exist. At 13-14 they have already reached the stages of piagets functioning, and are able to decide for themselves. If they ask at a younger age, kind of blow it off, that way they have to think about it for themselves and see what is right or wrong based on their morals. Well that's how I was raised, and although I am an atheist now, I respect all religions. My father is russian orthodox, and my mother claims agnosticism although, she definately has Christian influence in her beliefs. Hope I helped a little. (typing on iPod again)

 

[Charred.Atheist]

If you desired a sense of fellowship for your children that you fear only comes from a church, I would highly suggest looking up a local Unitarian Universalist Church.

Unitarian Universalism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

This individual has had a good experience a them..
Debunking Christianity: Mr. Atheist Goes to Church

 

[3.14]

just tell them
"you: you know how i told you about santaclaus and the easterbunny "
"them: yes"
"you: well when you grow older you will learn of another guy that spreads happyness"
"them: who"
"you: a fellow named jesus and his daddy god"
etcetera

 

[Fat Old Sun]

just tell them
"you: you know how i told you about santaclaus and the easterbunny "
"them: yes"
"you: well when you grow older you will learn of another guy that spreads happyness"

and plagues, don't forget the plagues!

 

[Katzpur]

I haven't really discussed it with my daughter. She's turning 8 this summer and plans on getting baptized in the LDS church, her mother has been taking her to church.

I didn't know your wife was LDS, Kungfuzed.

What I plan to do is teach her how to ask the hard questions, be honest with herself, and not be afraid to seek truth outside of her protective bubble.

Sounds like a good idea. That's how I was raised. Actually, it was more by example than my actually being taught. I think whether your daughter turns out to be a "questioner" or not may end up being part of her internal make-up more than anything else. I think you can teach your kids that it's okay to doubt and that it's NOT okay to just accept everything they're told. But as with everything else, some people are just more inclined to be skeptics and others are more inclined to be believers.

 

[methylatedghosts]

I think that you could not only let them hear the christian point of view, but the islamic, buddhist, pagan, mystic, and of course whatever others there are.

And when the child comes to you and says "so-and-so says that god x" the best thing you can do is say "what do you think?" or offer other perspectives and say "what do you think?". Be careful though, that you do not state perspectives in such a way that makes them think you're right. Because you could be not. They need to understand that just because someone is in a position of power over them (i.e. parent, teacher, politician etc) they aren't necessarily right. That's a powerful thing to teach a person and allows for them to think for themselves.

 

[winstle8]

Very much enjoying this thread! My wife and I (both raised Protestant) are struggling w/ this topic and our 2 (soon to be 3 children). We would like to begin educating our children to have a broad understanding of various religions / belief systems. We are trying to find resources that we can read with our children that expose them to the great morale lessons that so many religions teach.

What websites, books, stories, parables, etc. would you recommend my wife and I look into that have positive children's stories for various religions to read with our children?

*(For example, we would love to find children's stories from the religious text / creeds of the following religions: Catholic, LDS / Mormon, Islam, Hindu, Buddhism, Sikh, Jewish, Scientology, Taoism, Shinto, etc.).