How do you like your sex?

[Madhuri]

I voted: Friendly sex ok but only in relationship

I am sick of all the problems caused by casual sex. I think it's important for society as a whole for people to have regular partners instead of sleeping around. It's incredible how much infection and disease most people seem to have as a result of irresponsible sex.

 

[nnmartin]

how does casual sex cause so many problems? - if you use protection you should be fine.

 

[Twilight Hue]

I'm fine with everything as far as sex and preference is concerned, married or not, as I dont recognize marriage for anything other than it's traditional and cultural siginifience. Yet I think nevertheless, one needs to be mindful of yourself and others so as to not to create hurtful and/or misleading situations when having fun with each other(s).

 

[Madhuri]

how does casual sex cause so many problems? - if you use protection you should be fine.

Most young men, it seems, will try anything to not use that protection. Even if it's only for the first few minutes of sex.
If people could be trusted to act responsibly, there would not be as many problems as there currently are.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I actually agree with this. Other people can do what they like for all I care, but I can think of nothing better than sex with somebody you could spend your life with.

I do agree on both it's best to teach kids sex is best in a committed relationship, and it is best with life partner. But that doesn't mean I don't enjoy it with others.

how does casual sex cause so many problems? - if you use protection you should be fine.

For many people there are attachment or jealousy issue, some people use sex to get back at someone, for some can turn into an addiction, andalot of people don't use protection which causes diseases to be spread and accidental pregnancies. Actually for the careless and irresponsible casual sex can cause alot of problems. And even for those who regularly and properly use a condom or medical contraception there is still that .01% chance it will fail, and it occasionally does.

 

[elmarna]

Did not vote.
Why?
Sex in all it's glories is more than a basis of beliefs. While defined from the feelings we own it is in many ways a intimte way to share feelings.
I am not into "fooling around with feelings". Intamacy is a special thing. I do not begrudge those who find expressing the great way of spending the time to " love or take their smile to new heights this way to do so. It is more in the manner of those selfish or useing this way to be satisfied in life. It is a old train of thought - "do not confuse love with sex." I think this is a good way to approach it.
Sex is a wonderful way to expess feelings. No matter what term in your poll is used is not likely should not be checked if the participants are supporting the language of shareing a open resource of feelings in a ability to respect and let the closeness of the act renforce the relationship.
Sex after all is not without it's purpose.
Connecting with the bonds of wanting to be together, sharing life, and of course the producing of children which will continue to support the thoughts and feelings that brought them to life and hold onto your beliefs that brought you 2 together.

 

[froggerlover]

i think friendly sex is good in relationships, but the two have to be mutually in agreement. i think you have to be in a relationship to have good sex because you know the person well enough to do it. casual one night stands is okay, only unless you haven't had it in a long time and don't want to be in a committed relationship with a person.

 

[nnmartin]

it's little more than a bodily function if you ask me.

Enjoyable perhaps but so is a good meal or fine cigar!

 

[Caladan]

Well, I could just vote for friendly sex in a relationship. but seriously I'm sure many of us in reality were happy to engage in one night stands or casual sex. you know, young people love life and they love living, I don't think we can change that, I don't think I am even going to say there is anything wrong with that. we learn from our experience, and we all share a lust for life.

but having a long term partner and a healthy sex life is by far better.

 

[nnmartin]

what if your long term partner loses interest in sex - what do you do then?

 

[Caladan]

what if your long term partner loses interest in sex - what do you do then?

You take an Asian concubine.

 

[Drolefille]

what if your long term partner loses interest in sex - what do you do then?

Hi there, Drole here. Just your local polyamorous woman telling you that you have many other options other than monogamy.


Anyway, I voted anything (consensual) goes, even though I've only ever been in emotional relationships with the people i was in sexual relationships with. No flings here, I bond too easily I think.

 

[9Westy9]

what if your long term partner loses interest in sex - what do you do then?

You try to find the root of the problem. If your partner loses interest in sex then there's a reason for it.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

what if your long term partner loses interest in sex - what do you do then?

In my case, rather than end what is a very great relationship because she has a very low sex drive, we agreed to an open relationship. It was actually her idea, her only term is not in the bed we share, and it hasn't caused any problems because we both know we will be in each others arms in our own bed at the end of the day.
Of course that won't work for everyone, but if it's a good relationship than a couple can discuss the issue and work out a solution. If it is something at least one of the partners feel it is something they can't talk about, then there are deeper issues than sex that have to be resolved first. Taking care of the deeper issues (usually communication) may even resolve the issues that are causing a lack of sex within the relationship.

 

[Penumbra]

The thread is a bit contradictory. The title is, "how do you like your sex?" The poll is called "sex before marriage". And the thread question is, "Should the young folks go for it or hold back till marriage and it's too late to run screaming for the hills."

Those are very different questions. What I like for my sex is not identical to what I think other people should or should not do.

For me, I voted not married, but must be in love. This is because that's what works for me. Marriage doesn't mean anything to me, and I philosophically oppose the concept. But for me, I have zero desire to have sex with someone I'm not in love with, or to have sex with more than one person. For me, sex is more than just physical; I can only do it with a deep emotional connection. So I picked "not married, but must be in love".

For others, I don't care how they have sex as long as it's between consenting people of rational age. I don't view it as an ethical or moral thing. The only factors I consider are what people desire, and what is healthiest for them. If people want to have sex with multiple partners, or sex with people they have a friendly agreement with, I think that's totally ok. As for one-night stands, I don't think there are any ethical issues, but I don't see how the risk/reward ratio is a good one for having sex with someone you just met that day. It seems smart to me to at least know the person as an acquaintance first, but whatever.

 

[9Westy9]

Penumbra and illykitty have sumed up what I'd like to say better than I could

 

[nnmartin]

I will not say how I voted.

 

[9Westy9]

I will not say how I voted.

playing hard to get I see

 

[nnmartin]

the option that suits me best was not available on the poll

 

[-Peacemaker-]

WTF Trey? You didn't leave an option for "wet dreams"