How to speak PROPER Australian...

[The Neo Nerd]

Queensland (State)
Capital : Brisbane
Other key cities : Gold Coast, Townsville, Rockhampton
Known for : Sunshine, Crocodile Hunter, Dodgy politicians, the worlds most beautiful beaches and coral reefs, bogan accents
Positives :

1. Increasingly aware of superiority of Aussie Rules Football
2. Great weather
3. Adelaide is not in Queensland
4. I live there

Negatives :

1. Not Victoria
2. Too many people think Rugby League is a legitimate sporting choice which is why melbourne is trying to get one of our origin games played in their town
3. Commonly delusional regarding the importance of sunshine versus being part of the actual decision making processes in Australia which is why so many victorians move here
4. Epically bad beer. XXXX, their fave, is cat ****. I don't mean this figuratively, I believe they literally 'milk' cats. Yes it is ******* terrible. But still better than VB

South Australia (State)
Capital : Adelaide
Other key cities : Phhht...I'm barely qualifying Adelaide...
Known for : Churches and serial killers. Unsure on relationship between the two.
Positives :

1. Aussie Rules Football mad
2. Hate Victoria due to jealousy (this is completely justified, and therefore worthy)
3. Cheap Houses
4. The hottest chicks on the planet
5. great food and wine

Negatives :

1. Not Victoria
2. Adelaide - which is kinda like the world's biggest backwater, I suspect.

Victoria(State)
Capital : Melbourne
Other key cities : Geelong, Ballarat, Bendigo, Warrnambool.
Known for : Awesomeness. Also, unreliable weather, sports craziness, arts, culture, food and shopping.
Positives :

1. Not New South Wales
2. It's frigging VICTORIA!
3. Centre of Known Universe
4. Home of AFL Grand Final
5. Home of Australian F1 Grand Prix
6. Home of Australia's best restaurants, art and people...ahem...
7. 24 hour pizza shops

Negatives :

1. Having to endure the jealousy of the lesser Australians (ie. Non-Victorians)
2. Home to the worlds most repulsive beer

Made some corrections

 

[lewisnotmiller]

For anyone reading Quax's corrections?

Mostly he's on the money.
VB is indeed foul, and it is a big selling beer in Victoria. Of course, no-one with ANY taste defends it. They instead drink Mountain Goat, which is also Victorian, is waaaaay cooler, and (most importantly) is the shizz in terms of taste.

South Australian wines are absolutely frigging fantastic.
As for South Aussie girls...dunno...I've heard they prefer blokes from OUTSIDE South Australia, and this definitely counts in their favour...lol

 

[lewisnotmiller]

From Prof Lauder

Inner Narkup Luddaze: A builder's term, meaning: within the next seven or eight weeks. An elaboration of this phrase, `Air smite, inner narkup luddaze for sure', means, in the building trade, within the next seven or eight weeks.

LMFAO

Sadly, I suspect this may be lost on our foreign friends.