Where to begin:
I have chapped lips (important later).
I got a chicken ciabatta with onion rings. The cook, trying to make the bun seem more artisan, toasted it until it was fairly crusty. The very corner of the bun (it was square cut) became crisp and hard. When I tried to eat it, this corner punched through my dry, cracked upper lip, causing it to bleed profusely. I didn't notice immediately, and took a drink of my milk. My milk turning pink was the first sign. It took me five minutes and many napkins to get the bleeding stopped. I had to throw my food away because it was covered in blood.
How was my day? I managed to stab myself in the face with a sandwich. That's how my day was.
The preceding is, believe it or not, a true story.