It is said in various religions that God calls on certain individuals for a holy mission.
Perhaps all of us are called to the holy mission, yet few take it up.
How would you know if God called on you for a holy mission? Would it be super obvious (burning bush)? Or would it be more subtle? A thought that crosses your mind that is perhaps a revelation?
There are no burning bushes in the present (right?). Are we supposed to believe God doesn't call on people still?
My former pastor would say that the reason there aren't any miracles or prophets of the sort anymore was because the Bible was here so there is no need for modern showcases of God. The people of the Bible were showcased God and His power, so there was no doubt in their mind that He existed. Lucky them!
How do we experience God? How do we find Him? How do we know when we are called?
View attachment 70129
I am unsure if I am delusional or if I am called to help free humanity from their suffering. My psychiatrist is upping my antipsychotics to treat my "delusions of grandeur". I'm going to ask him to work me up to the max dosage. With the amount I'm on now, I don't obsess over my holy mission anymore. But when I let myself think on it, I know for sure I have been called. I have a unique perspective that most people are blind to. I have seen the end, okay!
My medical treatment is an attempt at domestication. Without the meds, I am unhinged, motivated, invincible, ambitious, and I see my mission clearly. Without my meds, I am treated different by society. People can instantly tell I'm "crazy" and discriminate against me.
I've been dabbling with living a "normal life". I act very normal on my medication; no one knows I'm ill. People treat me like a regular person. My family tells me how proud they are because how far I've come since I've started treatment.
Yet I feel like Jonah running away from Yahweh. I am on a boat heading directly away from Nineveh. Will a great fish swallow me up and bring me back into the fold? This attempt at domestication is futile I sometimes think.
So that's my story.
How would you know if you were called by God? How would you know for sure you aren't delusional?