Huckabee defends Duggars over Teenage Molestation Accusations

[Unification]

It was not a shock to hear about Josh Duggar and his misdeeds from the past. I have no idea why but that show gave me the creeps from the start and I never watched it. I also never liked Bill Cosby and could never understand why until last year. Guess I need to listen to my instincts! I realize that the statute of limitations has run out so there is no way to prosecute Josh now. However, I believe his father should be prosecuted for withholding information from the cops. I assume that is a crime?

Here's my take on this situation. I agree with JoStories. Children are damaged by sexual contact from those older than they are. I should know. I've been there and had that happen to me and it has taken a heck of a lot of work to get beyond it. So I know what it's like. I think there are a lot of things wrong with this whole thing. Here are some of them:

1. First of all, and obviously, it was wrong for Josh Duggar to do what he did in the first place.
2. It was very wrong for his father to not get him counseling. It was wrong not to get trained help for the victims.
3. It was wrong to withhold the information from the courts as Josh should have been held accountable for his misdeeds.
4. It was totally wrong to go on television and portray themselves as this wonderful goody-two-shoes Christian family that was just perfect when they knew darn well that they were anything but. That whole show was nothing but a pack of lies.
5. It was totally wrong for Josh to work for James Dobson's Family Research Council and go around pointing fingers at GLBT folks. He even had the nerve to compare them to pedophiles!!!! What a complete hypocrite.
6. It was wrong for Huckabee to defend Josh Duggar. He was/is a predator and it's the victims that need to be defended, not Josh.

I hope that some of those who put such stock in the whole idea of being a 'good' Christian can see what harm this family has done. They have harmed their own children, the victims, and the general public. They have also harmed those in the Christian faith who have to deal with people frowning on Christianity as a whole. I personally am not part of the Christian faith but I can see how this would damage it.

What a sad day when victims are not supported but perpetrators are. I'd like to go beat someone or something up to get rid of the anger this has stirred in me. I guess even after all these years those of us who have been victims of sexual abuse still find it hard to deal with this kind of thing.

Most professing "Christians," have no clue what true knowledge and experience of forgiveness is. No one is harmed if people stop judging and assuming of individuals based on a claimed "faith."

Best way to deal with it is to overcome the anger and emotion, and not let it get the best of one or have control. It IS, has occurred, forgive, and stop living it in, or the emotions still being there indirectly keep it alive and manifesting to all. As unfortunate as is, and easier said than done, it truly is best for all to let go and experience the freedom of the burdens. It cannot be changed but it can be overcome. Anyone truly trusting in "God" will know that there is divine balance and justice.

Anyone who believes in divine justice or balance, reaping what is sown, or karma, cause and effect, most assuredly wants this, and believes in such, except when something happens to the believer in such. Completely neglecting what may have been done in a past life and the suffering one may have caused by actions to others.

 

[SomeRandom]

Aye, sometimes even ordinary words were automatically replaced by a string of asterisks.
"Fist" wasn't allowed. I'm ashamed to admit that I don't know why it would be banned.
It must have some meaning unknown to me. (I lead a sheltered life.)
But I'll stop digressing so discussion of the OP can continue without distraction.

I'm a little ashamed to admit that I can think of a couple of scenarios where "fist" would have to be censored. Though maybe that's because I grew up on the internet. lol

 

[JoStories]

It was not a shock to hear about Josh Duggar and his misdeeds from the past. I have no idea why but that show gave me the creeps from the start and I never watched it. I also never liked Bill Cosby and could never understand why until last year. Guess I need to listen to my instincts! I realize that the statute of limitations has run out so there is no way to prosecute Josh now. However, I believe his father should be prosecuted for withholding information from the cops. I assume that is a crime?

Here's my take on this situation. I agree with JoStories. Children are damaged by sexual contact from those older than they are. I should know. I've been there and had that happen to me and it has taken a heck of a lot of work to get beyond it. So I know what it's like. I think there are a lot of things wrong with this whole thing. Here are some of them:

1. First of all, and obviously, it was wrong for Josh Duggar to do what he did in the first place.
2. It was very wrong for his father to not get him counseling. It was wrong not to get trained help for the victims.
3. It was wrong to withhold the information from the courts as Josh should have been held accountable for his misdeeds.
4. It was totally wrong to go on television and portray themselves as this wonderful goody-two-shoes Christian family that was just perfect when they knew darn well that they were anything but. That whole show was nothing but a pack of lies.
5. It was totally wrong for Josh to work for James Dobson's Family Research Council and go around pointing fingers at GLBT folks. He even had the nerve to compare them to pedophiles!!!! What a complete hypocrite.
6. It was wrong for Huckabee to defend Josh Duggar. He was/is a predator and it's the victims that need to be defended, not Josh.

I hope that some of those who put such stock in the whole idea of being a 'good' Christian can see what harm this family has done. They have harmed their own children, the victims, and the general public. They have also harmed those in the Christian faith who have to deal with people frowning on Christianity as a whole. I personally am not part of the Christian faith but I can see how this would damage it.

What a sad day when victims are not supported but perpetrators are. I'd like to go beat someone or something up to get rid of the anger this has stirred in me. I guess even after all these years those of us who have been victims of sexual abuse still find it hard to deal with this kind of thing.

I agree Maggie. And I am also sorry to hear yet another person here is a part of the group of people who have survived abuse. As I said, I want to beat something too when I hear this. My sister yesterday and I were discussing this and she actually defended the duggars. I was shocked and told her we had better stop talking about this. It really hurts when people don't get the long term pain this kind of thing causes. We can move beyond this but when something like this rears its ugly head and the perp is defended, it's like being revictimized all over again. I hope this guy gets all that is coming to him. And again, know that I stand with you as a fellow survivor.

 

[JoStories]

Most professing "Christians," have no clue what true knowledge and experience of forgiveness is. No one is harmed if people stop judging and assuming of individuals based on a claimed "faith."

Best way to deal with it is to overcome the anger and emotion, and not let it get the best of one or have control. It IS, has occurred, forgive, and stop living it in, or the emotions still being there indirectly keep it alive and manifesting to all. As unfortunate as is, and easier said than done, it truly is best for all to let go and experience the freedom of the burdens. It cannot be changed but it can be overcome. Anyone truly trusting in "God" will know that there is divine balance and justice.

Anyone who believes in divine justice or balance, reaping what is sown, or karma, cause and effect, most assuredly wants this, and believes in such, except when something happens to the believer in such. Completely neglecting what may have been done in a past life and the suffering one may have caused by actions to others.

Have you endured abuse? I suspect not because no one gets over it. One can learn to move beyond, such as I have, and redirect the anger into advocate status. Some people never get beyond it. I was assigned to a 10 year old in the pacu one day who had to have extensive surgery to repair her damage from forced and brutal sodomy. I couldn't take care of her as I was so angry for her pain, and let me tell you, this child will likely never get over what happened to her. Her eyes were dead. And if you have never seen a child whose soul has died, I recommend you don't. They are the budding Jeffery dauhmer's of the world.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Most professing "Christians," have no clue what true knowledge and experience of forgiveness is. No one is harmed if people stop judging and assuming of individuals based on a claimed "faith."

Best way to deal with it is to overcome the anger and emotion, and not let it get the best of one or have control. It IS, has occurred, forgive, and stop living it in, or the emotions still being there indirectly keep it alive and manifesting to all. As unfortunate as is, and easier said than done, it truly is best for all to let go and experience the freedom of the burdens. It cannot be changed but it can be overcome. Anyone truly trusting in "God" will know that there is divine balance and justice.

Anyone who believes in divine justice or balance, reaping what is sown, or karma, cause and effect, most assuredly wants this, and believes in such, except when something happens to the believer in such. Completely neglecting what may have been done in a past life and the suffering one may have caused by actions to others.

I think the best way to deal with it is investigation, evidence gathering, justice, counseling, and financial/ legal management reform. We need greater advocacy for survivors of rape and sexual assault.

The emphasis on forgiveness is best if left in the realm of personal ethics. But legal and justice reform must be made for survivors and against perpetrators.

Silence is not golden here.

 

[Unification]

I think the best way to deal with it is investigation, evidence gathering, justice, counseling, and financial/ legal management reform. We need greater advocacy for survivors of rape and sexual assault.

The emphasis on forgiveness is best if left in the realm of personal ethics. But legal and justice reform must be made for survivors and against perpetrators.

Silence is not golden here.

It'll most certainly be dealt with, one way or another. Allowing ill emotions to arise have zero benefit for oneself or anyone.

Forgiveness doesn't have to be applied to "ethics." It can be applied to ones' own state of mind and being. Nothing can be changed in the past. In the present and moving forward, one can either live in peace or never-ending manifesting emotion and trouble in mind of burden. To keep talking about something with psychiatrists, it keeps it alive and manifesting when it needs forgotten about and moved past. Other cases such as this, bring back those emotions keeping the past alive some more. In many ways, silence is golden. In many ways, it's not.

Advocacy of coming to true peace with these tragic experiences and advocacy to help others in loving and responsible ways. The traumatic experience has been done, the only way to overcome is the release of all burden to a new experience of freedom from this.

 

[Unification]

Have you endured abuse? I suspect not because no one gets over it. One can learn to move beyond, such as I have, and redirect the anger into advocate status. Some people never get beyond it. I was assigned to a 10 year old in the pacu one day who had to have extensive surgery to repair her damage from forced and brutal sodomy. I couldn't take care of her as I was so angry for her pain, and let me tell you, this child will likely never get over what happened to her. Her eyes were dead. And if you have never seen a child whose soul has died, I recommend you don't. They are the budding Jeffery dauhmer's of the world.

If no one gets over it, then the way our current support system is designed is garbage. The media, ourselves, counsellors, all the other minds that want to keep things alive and manifesting in a victims mind... Is garbage. Taking advantage of a victim for publicity is absolute garbage.

I see plenty of dead souls around me and in the world. I suffer with others I don't even know. No impartial eye. They are a part of me. People and other minds keep those victims experience alive indirectly by our own emotion and aura around them, and they bud ... when the experience of releasing and freedom is the way.

Justice will be served.

 

[Unification]

I agree Maggie. And I am also sorry to hear yet another person here is a part of the group of people who have survived abuse. As I said, I want to beat something too when I hear this. My sister yesterday and I were discussing this and she actually defended the duggars. I was shocked and told her we had better stop talking about this. It really hurts when people don't get the long term pain this kind of thing causes. We can move beyond this but when something like this rears its ugly head and the perp is defended, it's like being revictimized all over again. I hope this guy gets all that is coming to him. And again, know that I stand with you as a fellow survivor.

We can exhaust our emotion on wishing bad things upon people, or we can exhaust our energy as advocates of peace and wish genuine change of minds for victims and perps.

 

[Unification]

It was not a shock to hear about Josh Duggar and his misdeeds from the past. I have no idea why but that show gave me the creeps from the start and I never watched it. I also never liked Bill Cosby and could never understand why until last year. Guess I need to listen to my instincts! I realize that the statute of limitations has run out so there is no way to prosecute Josh now. However, I believe his father should be prosecuted for withholding information from the cops. I assume that is a crime?

Here's my take on this situation. I agree with JoStories. Children are damaged by sexual contact from those older than they are. I should know. I've been there and had that happen to me and it has taken a heck of a lot of work to get beyond it. So I know what it's like. I think there are a lot of things wrong with this whole thing. Here are some of them:

1. First of all, and obviously, it was wrong for Josh Duggar to do what he did in the first place.
2. It was very wrong for his father to not get him counseling. It was wrong not to get trained help for the victims.
3. It was wrong to withhold the information from the courts as Josh should have been held accountable for his misdeeds.
4. It was totally wrong to go on television and portray themselves as this wonderful goody-two-shoes Christian family that was just perfect when they knew darn well that they were anything but. That whole show was nothing but a pack of lies.
5. It was totally wrong for Josh to work for James Dobson's Family Research Council and go around pointing fingers at GLBT folks. He even had the nerve to compare them to pedophiles!!!! What a complete hypocrite.
6. It was wrong for Huckabee to defend Josh Duggar. He was/is a predator and it's the victims that need to be defended, not Josh.

I hope that some of those who put such stock in the whole idea of being a 'good' Christian can see what harm this family has done. They have harmed their own children, the victims, and the general public. They have also harmed those in the Christian faith who have to deal with people frowning on Christianity as a whole. I personally am not part of the Christian faith but I can see how this would damage it.

What a sad day when victims are not supported but perpetrators are. I'd like to go beat someone or something up to get rid of the anger this has stirred in me. I guess even after all these years those of us who have been victims of sexual abuse still find it hard to deal with this kind of thing.

Question: if a pedophile had a genuine change of mind, and now hates what they once loved, long ago, and speaks out for that... Do they have to still be judged and labeled as a "hypocrite" and have their past always defining them by other minds now and forever?
Is it healthy to continuously bring up anyone's past and faults?

 

[beenie]

IMO all 19 children are victims of these parents. Of course, the sexual abuse is the most damning; I can't believe any rational person would defend it. He wasn't an 8-year-old, he was 15. Clearly he knew what he was doing was wrong or he wouldn't have molested the girls when they were sleeping, nor would he or his family buried the "indiscretion". Sure, send him off to do manual labor... that ought to fix 'em! (insert sarcastic smiley) He knew it was wrong, his family knew it was wrong, they completely mishandled the situation, and decided instead to put their young children in the worldwide spotlight while mama Duggar competed with her molester son over having more babies at the same time. Despicable.

The oldest Duggar girl isn't married; makes one wonder if that poor girl was one of the victims and hasn't "gotten over it" yet.

*joins Mystic and JoStories in the puke-fest*

 

[beenie]

Question: if a pedophile had a genuine change of mind, and now hates what they once loved, long ago, and speaks out for that... Do they have to still be judged and labeled as a "hypocrite" and have their past always defining them by other minds now and forever?
Is it healthy to continuously bring up anyone's past and faults?

... only if they ACTUALLY went through years of intense counseling, not off to do manual labor. These goons never addressed the elephant in the room.

 

[Revoltingest]

k

IMO all 19 children are victims of these parents. Of course, the sexual abuse is the most damning; I can't believe any rational person would defend it. He wasn't an 8-year-old, he was 15. Clearly he knew what he was doing was wrong or he wouldn't have molested the girls when they were sleeping, nor would he or his family buried the "indiscretion". Sure, send him off to do manual labor... that ought to fix 'em! (insert sarcastic smiley) He knew it was wrong, his family knew it was wrong, they completely mishandled the situation, and decided instead to put their young children in the worldwide spotlight while mama Duggar competed with her molester son over having more babies at the same time. Despicable.

The oldest Duggar girl isn't married; makes one wonder if that poor girl was one of the victims and hasn't "gotten over it" yet.

*joins Mystic and JoStories in the puke-fest*

I haven't noticed any defending sexual abuse.
That would be heinous.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

It'll most certainly be dealt with, one way or another. Allowing ill emotions to arise have zero benefit for oneself or anyone.

Irrelevant. Justice must be served.

Forgiveness doesn't have to be applied to "ethics." It can be applied to ones' own state of mind and being. Nothing can be changed in the past. In the present and moving forward, one can either live in peace or never-ending manifesting emotion and trouble in mind of burden. To keep talking about something with psychiatrists, it keeps it alive and manifesting when it needs forgotten about and moved past. Other cases such as this, bring back those emotions keeping the past alive some more. In many ways, silence is golden. In many ways, it's not.

Advocacy of coming to true peace with these tragic experiences and advocacy to help others in loving and responsible ways. The traumatic experience has been done, the only way to overcome is the release of all burden to a new experience of freedom from this.

People who have PTSD have unique challenges. People who survived rape/sexual assault, attempted murder, catastrophic accidents, catastrophic natural disasters, and combat in war...we all share some traits in common. And part of those challenges is the education of the reality of PTSD and the education of how survivors can learn coping techniques.

This all, however, is separate from justice. We must keep them separate too, since our grief and trauma are all dealt with individually. Justice must be blind and must be fair. Far too often, the current system prefers to place an undue amount of pressure on survivors to forgive as part of justice, and takes away the impact of the crime committed from the perpetrator.

Let survivors cope the way they must. But treat justice regarding sexual predators with the same regard as we do for predators that kidnap and torture people. Both scenarios carry with them the same impact on the survivor(s).

 

[maggie2]

If no one gets over it, then the way our current support system is designed is garbage. The media, ourselves, counsellors, all the other minds that want to keep things alive and manifesting in a victims mind... Is garbage. Taking advantage of a victim for publicity is absolute garbage.

I see plenty of dead souls around me and in the world. I suffer with others I don't even know. No impartial eye. They are a part of me. People and other minds keep those victims experience alive indirectly by our own emotion and aura around them, and they bud ... when the experience of releasing and freedom is the way.Justice will be served.

I don't know if you have ever experienced sexual abuse but I suspect not. I spent about three years "getting over" my abuse, doing intense work on myself and resolving the issues I carried around over the abuse. I got on with my life. It is now over 25 years since I dealt with it. And I did forgive. Not for the other person but for myself. I did that so I didn't have to carry around the burden that abuse creates. It took many conscious decisions on my part to forgive. I had to do it over and over for some time but now I mostly never think about it. I get on with my life and live a full, happy life.

However, when something like this comes up it triggers the past and the memories surface again. And the anger surfaces too. We survivors don't "get over it". We deal with it and make the most of our lives but you never get over it. It's always there in the background. The good things from the past are also there in the background of our lives. Have you ever gotten together with family and started to talk about the good times from the past? We have and do so sometimes. We don't forget those things either. And when we talk about those fun times the emotions surface also. It's a natural human response and it actually enriches our lives when we can recall positive emotions. It also protects our lives when we have to deal with the negative emotions again.

I do not believe that anyone can totally forget their past. You say, "People and other minds keep those victims experience alive indirectly by our emotion and aura around them, and they bud...when the experience of releasing and freedom is the way." Don't you think those of us who have been abused WANT to forget the damage done to us? Don't you think we work to accomplish that? If you know how to wipe out the past in our lives tell us how you do that. If it isn't too horrible an exercise maybe we could try it. The reality is that for most people, the past is a part of our life whether we like it or not. So for me, finding a way to deal with the issues from the past and moving on is the way to go. I just know that occasionally something will trigger those old feelings. Then I have to deal with them in this moment and once I have done that I can pick myself up and move on again. If anyone knows of a better way let me know.

Question: if a pedophile had a genuine change of mind, and now hates what they once loved, long ago, and speaks out for that... Do they have to still be judged and labeled as a "hypocrite" and have their past always defining them by other minds now and forever?
Is it healthy to continuously bring up anyone's past and faults?

Listen, if someone murders another do we label them a murderer? Yes we do. And they own that label for the rest of their lives. If someone steals they become known as a thief. And if someone sexually abuses another they become known as a predator and that name remains. I judge the Duggar's as hypocrites not because of the sexual abuse but because of the way they have spent years professing to be such "good" Christians and spouting off about the GLBT community when they have plenty of skeletons in their own closet. It is the hypocrisy that angers me the most. They have some nerve to point fingers at others when they themselves are so imperfect. So my label of hypocrisy is about the garbage they spout while being so imperfect themselves. And Josh Duggar did not speak out against molestation. In fact, he stated, more than once, that homosexuality could lead to pedophilia. And we all know that's bull for a story. No, it is not healthy to continually bring up anyone's past and faults. However, I certainly don't want someone of his caliber spouting off about how to be "good". He needs to sit down and shut up and go about his business, not stand up with possible presidential candidates and point fingers at others.

Until you walk a mile in the moccasins of someone who has been sexually abused you have no right to judge us or try to tell us how to deal with our issues. And you appear to be doing that in your many posts. And you sure don't have the right to assume the pedophile "had a genuine change of mind" just because he said he did. He also said lots of other things that were lies as well. Let me tell you this, one of the two people who abused me was still abusing people when he was well into his seventies. Research has shown that very few people can overcome being a pedophile whether or not they say they have done so. And Josh Duggar abused a number of girls, and he did it more than once with each of them so he was a repeat offender many times over. Those kinds of pedophiles don't usually "get over it". I hope that child welfare looks into his family to be sure his daughters are safe. They are the people I worry about most. And yes, I know, his family is none of my business, but just the thought of those little girls possibly being in harms way makes me want to go rescue them. I won't, but I'd like to. No one deserves to go through this experience.

 

[Unification]

Irrelevant. Justice must be served.



People who have PTSD have unique challenges. People who survived rape/sexual assault, attempted murder, catastrophic accidents, catastrophic natural disasters, and combat in war...we all share some traits in common. And part of those challenges is the education of the reality of PTSD and the education of how survivors can learn coping techniques.

This all, however, is separate from justice. We must keep them separate too, since our grief and trauma are all dealt with individually. Justice must be blind and must be fair. Far too often, the current system prefers to place an undue amount of pressure on survivors to forgive as part of justice, and takes away the impact of the crime committed from the perpetrator.

Let survivors cope the way they must. But treat justice regarding sexual predators with the same regard as we do for predators that kidnap and torture people. Both scenarios carry with them the same impact on the survivor(s).

Sure, cause and effect. It will happen. If I were a victim, I would know I am suffering and experiencing for something that I have caused another(s) to suffer and experience. It's a never ending circular experience of reaping what is sown until the price is paid. Justice.

Not irrelevant, justice will be served, but it changes nothing for the victim.

Forgiveness doesn't have to be words or telling someone you have forgiven them. Forgiveness could be coming to peace and rest to what has occurred. Free from the emotion, trauma, and burden of past. This becomes more impossible to overcome the more minds that get involved and indirectly contribute emotion and such to it all.

As you've said, two separate.

"The education of reality." We are trying to scientifically educate "experience" with counsel and medication for PTSD. As some have said indirectly, this never seems to work. Mental disorders aren't even deemed "real" to science and education and PTSD doesn't even have a definition. Trying to educate, counsel, provide medication by measuring experience is near useless. The chemical imbalance in the brain is the excuse, so indirectly, the chemical imbalance in the brain can be the excuse any given perp uses. The physical, material, and animal realm is no different. It indirectly and collectively tells people to behave in such manner, indirect mental conditioning. Perhaps sexual abuse and other like behaviors wouldn't occur if people weren't focused on the appearance and physical drive of everything. That is the education we need to raise. This is the root to all problems in the world. Physical and material appearance, yet we are being preached a physical and material and animal world, of course most will live by this and this sight of appearance. That is the root cause to harm others. If it's preached that we have one life to live with not many consequences, of course one is more likely to divulge and devour others in physical pleasures of this very education received. It's a never ending circular system of hidden deceit and the only remedy is to escape such rather than feed into the system and lack awareness of it.

 

[Unification]

I don't know if you have ever experienced sexual abuse but I suspect not. I spent about three years "getting over" my abuse, doing intense work on myself and resolving the issues I carried around over the abuse. I got on with my life. It is now over 25 years since I dealt with it. And I did forgive. Not for the other person but for myself. I did that so I didn't have to carry around the burden that abuse creates. It took many conscious decisions on my part to forgive. I had to do it over and over for some time but now I mostly never think about it. I get on with my life and live a full, happy life.

However, when something like this comes up it triggers the past and the memories surface again. And the anger surfaces too. We survivors don't "get over it". We deal with it and make the most of our lives but you never get over it. It's always there in the background. The good things from the past are also there in the background of our lives. Have you ever gotten together with family and started to talk about the good times from the past? We have and do so sometimes. We don't forget those things either. And when we talk about those fun times the emotions surface also. It's a natural human response and it actually enriches our lives when we can recall positive emotions. It also protects our lives when we have to deal with the negative emotions again.

I do not believe that anyone can totally forget their past. You say, "People and other minds keep those victims experience alive indirectly by our emotion and aura around them, and they bud...when the experience of releasing and freedom is the way." Don't you think those of us who have been abused WANT to forget the damage done to us? Don't you think we work to accomplish that? If you know how to wipe out the past in our lives tell us how you do that. If it isn't too horrible an exercise maybe we could try it. The reality is that for most people, the past is a part of our life whether we like it or not. So for me, finding a way to deal with the issues from the past and moving on is the way to go. I just know that occasionally something will trigger those old feelings. Then I have to deal with them in this moment and once I have done that I can pick myself up and move on again. If anyone knows of a better way let me know.



Listen, if someone murders another do we label them a murderer? Yes we do. And they own that label for the rest of their lives. If someone steals they become known as a thief. And if someone sexually abuses another they become known as a predator and that name remains. I judge the Duggar's as hypocrites not because of the sexual abuse but because of the way they have spent years professing to be such "good" Christians and spouting off about the GLBT community when they have plenty of skeletons in their own closet. It is the hypocrisy that angers me the most. They have some nerve to point fingers at others when they themselves are so imperfect. So my label of hypocrisy is about the garbage they spout while being so imperfect themselves. And Josh Duggar did not speak out against molestation. In fact, he stated, more than once, that homosexuality could lead to pedophilia. And we all know that's bull for a story. No, it is not healthy to continually bring up anyone's past and faults. However, I certainly don't want someone of his caliber spouting off about how to be "good". He needs to sit down and shut up and go about his business, not stand up with possible presidential candidates and point fingers at others.

Until you walk a mile in the moccasins of someone who has been sexually abused you have no right to judge us or try to tell us how to deal with our issues. And you appear to be doing that in your many posts. And you sure don't have the right to assume the pedophile "had a genuine change of mind" just because he said he did. He also said lots of other things that were lies as well. Let me tell you this, one of the two people who abused me was still abusing people when he was well into his seventies. Research has shown that very few people can overcome being a pedophile whether or not they say they have done so. And Josh Duggar abused a number of girls, and he did it more than once with each of them so he was a repeat offender many times over. Those kinds of pedophiles don't usually "get over it". I hope that child welfare looks into his family to be sure his daughters are safe. They are the people I worry about most. And yes, I know, his family is none of my business, but just the thought of those little girls possibly being in harms way makes me want to go rescue them. I won't, but I'd like to. No one deserves to go through this experience.

No one is being judged.

I have every right to try and attempt to genuinely help others with love and peace. If it's not received, that would be the opposite party's choice.

Research... The victim and the perp are not a statistic. Apparently the system and education in its current state is not working, wouldn't that tell something?

We are all imperfect and have pasts. Living in them changes nothing. It contributes to the mental conditioning of the system. For ourselves and to others. Dying to them changes everything. Freedom. If you're or anyone is being judged and labeled constantly for your past, there will be no hope for change. I personally eliminate all those types of minds from my life besides trying to educate properly.

I agree, it's more for publicity rather than genuine intent, the show. People are conditioned by watching the show too. Being "good" isn't "good" enough. Constantly telling people they are no good or not good enough because of their past just indirectly contributes to more mental conditioning and hatred, and the lack to overcome anything.

My condolences on what has happened, and I am exhausting energy in hopes that you and others find genuine peace, rest, and freedom from all burdens and doings. The current model obviously isn't working.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I have every right to try and attempt to genuinely help others with love and peace. If it's not received, that would be the opposite party's choice.

If you wish to do so, you should begin by listening to those who have experienced such things. You don't know what they have been through, you don't know how it effects them, you don't know what is best for them.

 

[Unification]

If you wish to do so, you should begin by listening to those who have experienced such things. You don't know what they have been through, you don't know how it effects them, you don't know what is best for them.

Thank you for the advice.

After listening, I am seeing some individuals who believe in karma and reincarnation, yet cannot cope with the experiences handed to them. I see emotion, anger, bitterness. Saying they are free but obviously are not free. Having knowledge "of" what freedom is but not knowing/experiencing genuine freedom. I listened and I see folks being proactive for a system that is evidently garbage and not working. Something is wrong with the system and approach. Therefore, what is best is to discover the root cause and experience freedom and to discover a solution that doesn't feed into the system of reliving experiences over and over again. Deny oneself. Stay away from things and thoughts and minds that cause the reoccurring of emotion and pain of experience. They are feeding themselves and lack awareness of it. I have listened and am seeing nothing but blame and finger pointing... Is that what is best? Awareness is the solution. If that's not what is best, enlighten me on what your advice would be? To keep being bitter and emotional and living in something that cannot change or to move forward and be aware in more effective approaches to oneself and others?

 

[maggie2]

No one is being judged.

I have every right to try and attempt to genuinely help others with love and peace. If it's not received, that would be the opposite party's choice.

Research... The victim and the perp are not a statistic. Apparently the system and education in its current state is not working, wouldn't that tell something?

We are all imperfect and have pasts. Living in them changes nothing. It contributes to the mental conditioning of the system. For ourselves and to others. Dying to them changes everything. Freedom. If you're or anyone is being judged and labeled constantly for your past, there will be no hope for change. I personally eliminate all those types of minds from my life besides trying to educate properly.

I agree, it's more for publicity rather than genuine intent, the show. People are conditioned by watching the show too. Being "good" isn't "good" enough. Constantly telling people they are no good or not good enough because of their past just indirectly contributes to more mental conditioning and hatred, and the lack to overcome anything.

My condolences on what has happened, and I am exhausting energy in hopes that you and others find genuine peace, rest, and freedom from all burdens and doings. The current model obviously isn't working.

You know, I'm beginning to realize that you are acting just like the Duggars do. You preach about your way to deal with issues and contend that what is presently available isn't working, so you judge it unsuccessful. You can preach a good sermon about forgetting the past but for most people that is a pipe dream. It means that along with the hurts of the past we would also be giving up the wonderful events of the past. I for one have no desire to do that. The past is part of who I am today. It has shaped the person I am and the one I am becoming. I learn new things every day and develop and change on an ongoing basis. I plan to continue to learn and grow until I die. And that means sometimes looking back so I can remember valuable lessons I have learned and remembering fun things that have happened 'back then'.

I must say I find it very hard to believe that any of us can totally wipe out our past and never think of it nor have it affect our present lives in some ways. The abuse I suffered as a child does not live in the forefront of my mind, but it is there, in the back of my mind. I can go for months and sometimes years and not think about it. Then something like this Duggar situation triggers it and it comes back to the front of my mind. The last time I had a trigger was Christmas 2013, so that's over a year. And the time before that was over three years from that Christmas. So it's not like it's an every day kind of thing. It will take a bit of time but eventually it will move back to it's little corner of the past and it won't show up again until it is triggered once more. So I have learned to live with that. It's like peeling an onion. There are layers and layers and you peel off one layer and lo and behold, there's another layer under that one. That's what dealing with sexual abuse is like for me and from what I gather, for most people who have experienced it.

And as I said before, unless you've experienced what we have, don't try to tell us how to deal with it. You have chosen not to indicate whether or not you have had this experience. That leads me to think you have not. Additionally, your cavalier attitude also makes me think you have not been sexually abused yourself. So you live your life your way and quit trying to tell me and others how to live ours. And I don't want or need your condolences. What I need is your respect for my right to live my life in a way that works for me without you trying to 'fix' things for me and others.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Thank you for the advice.

After listening, I am seeing some individuals who believe in karma and reincarnation, yet cannot cope with the experiences handed to them. I see emotion, anger, bitterness. Saying they are free but obviously are not free. Having knowledge "of" what freedom is but not knowing/experiencing genuine freedom. I listened and I see folks being proactive for a system that is evidently garbage and not working. Something is wrong with the system and approach. Therefore, what is best is to discover the root cause and experience freedom and to discover a solution that doesn't feed into the system of reliving experiences over and over again. Deny oneself. Stay away from things and thoughts and minds that cause the reoccurring of emotion and pain of experience. They are feeding themselves and lack awareness of it. I have listened and am seeing nothing but blame and finger pointing... Is that what is best? Awareness is the solution. If that's not what is best, enlighten me on what your advice would be? To keep being bitter and emotional and living in something that cannot change or to move forward and be aware in more effective approaches to oneself and others?

I have not been sexually or physically abused, but I was emotionally abused my mother. There is no way to forget it. When I did finally deal with it though, and wrote down all the things she put me through, it was hard at first, it did prompt rage, anger, and depression, but eventually I reached a point where I could add stuff to the list without it adding to the negativity. I am still very distanced from my mom, I can't really forgive her for some of the things she told me (including that she could "replace" me), but I learned to let it go.
And then there was what my brother done while he was addicted to his pain pills. That one there was no way to not have it brought up, it was extremely painful, but it had to be done, especially for his own sake.
One of the things therapists are good for is to help people work out and deal with their problems. This does require you to talk about things. But if you don't talk, they can't help. And some burdens are too great to carry alone.