I am trying to come to terms with my looks, wanna help?

[sthitpradnya]

hi man,
can i ask something first? is your eyelid permanently closed from birth? have you got an x-ray or MRI scan done to see if there is a normal eyeball behind the closed eyelid? if there is an eyeball with any possibility of functioning a skilled surgeon should be able to "open" that eye i guess. even if there is no eyeball or it is not functional you could get an artificial one matching your good eye fitted into that socket. these days reconstructive surgery can do wonders man.a lot depends on getting the shut eye open.then the doctors would see if you have the "blink reflex" and other motor fuctions like opening and closing the eye at will.also if there is an eyeball with the optic nerve intact and connected to the brain you might actually be able to see through that eye. have you already explored the medical/surgical solutions ? what did you find? is there an eyeball behind the closed eyelid?

 

[David69]

I think the second pic is better. could maybe tidy up the goaty though! your an intelligent kid with a great personallity and that will shine through. be yourself, Mike! dont try and be something different! your a much better mike than the one I first met and when people get to know you they will see the person you truly are and not someone that hides beneath a mask... hope this helps bud!
Dave.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

For the record I have a lovely and sexy wife of 10 years, I have one adopted son who is autistic and a biological son as well. In my younger days (I am 34 now) I never had a problem with women.

My problem today as an adult is largely business related, because it is tough as hell out here and I find my gentle nature doesn't translate well.
I have a hard time being fake and playing the game. So when I meet new people I never know if they have an angle or actually want to be friends etc...

Does that make more sense?

That all makes perfect sense... and it makes it sound like your eye isn't really the problem.

 

[Penumbra]

I definitely think an eye patch is a great approach.

It won't be viewed as comical, it will help your business personality as it will make you look less "gentle", and they just look plain sexy.

It will make you more memorable, and it will be a distinctive thing about you, in a good way (if you are confident with it). That's helpful for both business and non-business encounters.

Plus, with the facial hair, I think it would just look awesome. You're good looking and it will make you look really confident and striking.

 

[idea]

I don't hate myself (I don't think anyway), I don't think I am horrible looking, but it seems my deformity is such a HUGE weight on my social skills, that I fumble many would be personal and business relationships. How can I fix this? Should I get therapy?

My mother has a face deformity - we all count it a blessing. Those who are superficial and cannot see beyond it are not worth getting into a relashonship with. Who you are is not what you look like (and I personally think you look just fine, we all have things we dislike about our appearance, no one is perfect)

We all worry about what people are thinking about us, but I think this is the wrong thing to worry about. When you see someone else on the street, what do you think about? what do you notice about them? If you saw someone who looked like you, what would you think? If you saw someone in a wheelchair, what do you think? Most people do not think horrible things about one another, because most people are just like you - worried about their own issues and how they come across.

btw, my mom is a total career gal, climbed to the top of the ladder, nothing got in her way!

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Just so everyone's aware: the OP, Mike, passed away recently.

His wife started a memorial thread here: http://www.religiousforums.com/forum/rf-memorials/106911-about-my-husband.html

 

[Twilight Hue]

My mother has a face deformity - we all count it a blessing. Those who are superficial and cannot see beyond it are not worth getting into a relashonship with. Who you are is not what you look like (and I personally think you look just fine, we all have things we dislike about our appearance, no one is perfect)

We all worry about what people are thinking about us, but I think this is the wrong thing to worry about. When you see someone else on the street, what do you think about? what do you notice about them? If you saw someone who looked like you, what would you think? If you saw someone in a wheelchair, what do you think? Most people do not think horrible things about one another, because most people are just like you - worried about their own issues and how they come across.

btw, my mom is a total career gal, climbed to the top of the ladder, nothing got in her way!

You may not be aware Idea, but Just_Me_Mike has recently passed on. The thread is in RF memorials here:
http://www.religiousforums.com/forum/rf-memorials/106911-about-my-husband.html
I suppose just to keep his topic alive here, and guessing it may make for an extension that he may of liked for it to go a little bit more...

I always had a sensitivity about my early baldness, the stigma it had, and the fact that in my life there were not too many girls attracted to me of which I blame my baldness on. I'm not too good-looking a guy to the opposite sex in my eyes, and it seemed to be true as I always had a difficult time in getting romantically involved with a girl in my young adult years and it had caused me to withdraw and become shy. Perceptions can be damming emotionally, yet here I am years later married to a great woman today. I feel that oftentimes that your own perception is far worse than how people really perceive you.

Honestly and sincerely, I would not hesitate to be romantically engaged with any girl who is considered ugly or abnormal with a great personality, than any drop dead gorgeous supermodel who is shallow and mean spirited any day of the week!

As for public perception in general. I don't care what people think due to the fact that your friends and those who like you are the evidence that looks don't even matter.

For the record superficially JMM was a good-looking dude and an eye patch would definitely give him that unique charm to boot!

Addum; Just realized that tuxedo clad fella from the north beat me in letting you know in regards to JMM. Scratch that info then.

 

[idea]

You may not be aware Idea, but Just_Me_Mike has recently passed on. The thread is in RF memorials here:
http://www.religiousforums.com/forum/rf-memorials/106911-about-my-husband.html
I suppose just to keep his topic alive here, and guessing it may make for an extension that he may of liked for it to go a little bit more...

Awww, I didn't know. It's always bitter sweet, death is not the end, it is a glorious new beginning, but it is always a loss to those still on this side of the veil...

I feel that oftentimes that your own perception is far worse than how people really perceive you.

so true, we are our own worst judge.

 

[Renji]

I guess we can just continue this thread as a "tradition" of remembering Mike. I just hope that he had find a solution to his problems (not only this one) before he passed away...

 

[Onearmedjunkie]

You look like a bad ***, seriously.

 

[Renji]

Simple reminders:

Under the TERMS OF SERVICE:

5. User Conduct
a. You agree not to provide any Messages to the RF that (a) infringes any third-party intellectual property or publicity/privacy rights, (b) is knowlingly false, and/or defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, vulgar, hateful, harrassing, obscene, profane, threatening, invasive of a person's privacy, or otherwise violative of any law or regulation
[FONT=&quot][/FONT]

Be respectful to other members of the forum,(especially to those that have passed away). This community aims its users to show respect, not only towards other people's faith, but also towards the other members. If you,Onearmedjunkie, can't respect Mike as an RF member, you could at least respect him as a person and accept him the way he is. No one is perfect.

 

[Twilight Hue]

You look like a bad ***, seriously.

Simple reminders:

Under the TERMS OF SERVICE:


Be respectful to other members of the forum,(especially to those that have passed away). This community aims its users to show respect, not only towards other people's faith, but also towards the other members. If you,Onearmedjunkie, can't respect Mike as an RF member, you could at least respect him as a person and accept him the way he is. No one is perfect.

I thik OAJ was intending it to be a genuine compliment. At least its how I perceived it. Where I come from, being a Bad*** is actually complementary and not insulting at all.

Its a macho thing among guys. Like kick***.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

*** Staff Advisory ***​

In light of the fact that the OP has passed away, this thread has been closed.​