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I hate myself

Shushersbedamned

Well-Known Member
Do you mean in the Biblical sense of "to love less"? If so, then I guess you've achieved what we are all encouraged to do!

Congratulations!

I always hate when people say that you have to love yourself first before you can love anyone else. No, really, you need to hate yourself first (in the Biblical sense, anyway) before you can truly love anyone else.
That's not what I mean
 

Shushersbedamned

Well-Known Member
Jesus said, "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." If you believe you must hate yourself, what does that tell you about how you ought to feel toward your neighbor?
Exactly as he deserves - in case youve ever tried to sleep in my bed at 4am Saturday night.
 

Shushersbedamned

Well-Known Member
We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19

I don't love my neighbor because I'm a good person. No, that is foreign to the Bible's message. My free choice to love someone is not because I figured it out (how to love myself). It's because Jesus Christ came to earth and showed me how to. Self hatred is not always self abusive.
You don't think they felt love before Jesus? Even dolphins love.
 

Axe Elf

Prophet
But love is an involuntary feeling.

Philos and eros may be, but agape is not.

From wikipedia:

Agape (love) denotes an undefeatable benevolence and unconquerable goodwill that always seeks the highest in others, no matter their behavior. It is a love that gives freely without asking anything in return, and does not consider the worth of its object. Agape is more a love by choice than philos, which is love by chance; and it refers to the will rather than the emotion.
 

Shushersbedamned

Well-Known Member
Why?

I don't want to judge, suppose to give you some unsolicited advice, or whatever. I'd just like to know why. At most I'll say, I hated myself for most of life, and really finding out why helped me figure out where to go from there. Just to be honest about it.

So why is it that you hate yourself, if you want to share?
Bc I'm incapable of the simplest of things and greedy. And incapable of not being so. I suck at things that to most people are nothing. Thou I'm not stupid, but they say I'm depressed.
 

Shushersbedamned

Well-Known Member
And how did our Savior love us? He laid down His life for ours; He loved Himself less than He loved us. He commands us to love ourselves less than we love others. That's what the Biblical sense of "hate" (in that context) means.
Again. Love - not something u can decide upon
 

Trailblazer

Veteran Member
Bc I'm incapable of the simplest of things and greedy. And incapable of not being so. I suck at things that to most people are nothing. Thou I'm not stupid, but they say I'm depressed.
Join the crowd. You are not alone. :rolleyes: I cannot even do the simplest things like clean house or keep up the yard. I do not even drive a car anymore. These things are nothing to most people, so how do you think that makes me feel?

I am not stupid either, I just cannot seem to make myself do anything that I need to do. I get partway done and then I cannot make a decision so I sit on it. Like I have been trying to find a roofer for a much needed roof on my rental house, but I cannot pick one roofer out of the eight or so that have given me bids.

You are probably depressed, I am too. But I am not depressed enough to require meds or counseling, I am just down on myself because I cannot seem to DO anything. But there are reasons and I know the reasons, yet I cannot seem to do anything about it, so sometimes I hate myself, but sometimes I just hate life or even God. :(
 

Kapalika

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
Bc I'm incapable of the simplest of things and greedy. And incapable of not being so. I suck at things that to most people are nothing. Thou I'm not stupid, but they say I'm depressed.

Do you feel you always were this way? Or was there a time where you felt you were more capable? I found when I'm struggling to meet basic needs I become more selfish. Is it something like that?
 

Shushersbedamned

Well-Known Member
Do you feel you always were this way? Or was there a time where you felt you were more capable? I found when I'm struggling to meet basic needs I become more selfish. Is it something like that?
Always more or less. Whether it affects my daily life more or less is coincidental. Idk, maybe my parents just did an awful job and I skipped the part when they teach you to be responsible and smart.
 

Mock Turtle

Oh my, did I say that!
Premium Member
Always more or less. Whether it affects my daily life more or less is coincidental. Idk, maybe my parents just did an awful job and I skipped the part when they teach you to be responsible and smart.

I'm not sure many parents do the latter - they might think they do - but instilling confidence in a child is probably the surest way for that child to grow up to be a responsible adult - in the sense they take responsibility for their lives. For much of mine I just drifted rather aimlessly - with obvious directions chosen, such as outdoor activities and subsequent friends, so as to make it reasonably pleasurable. When they drifted away, it mostly fell apart, and was that way for a long time. Now I seem to have some purpose, in writing, but I can accept that it might not mean that much to others. I am content because I have fortunately changed within to be as good as I would have ever hoped. I wish I could help you but it's just so difficult to place oneself in the place of another, especially a female, when I have so little real knowledge or experiences of such. :oops:

I know we have very difference childhood experiences - I always felt loved by my mother and she could hardly have been a better mother to us all - such that I probably grew up with a lot of self-belief in myself. And hence I have never felt self-hatred - disappointment in myself perhaps, but I know I have achieved much and had many friends for this to be so.

Not that this probably helps you though. :oops:

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