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I need some help overcoming my bad habit. I need to change who I am :(

Rival

Diex Aie
Staff member
Premium Member
Many Christians think that masturbation is wicked, I guess that's mainly because 'Onanism' (or whatever it was called) in the Old Testament was outlawed.
This was actually about a man withdrawing before emission because he didn't want to fulfil his duty and make his dead brother's wife pregnant, so G-d lightning-bolted him.
 

Lyndon

"Peace is the answer" quote: GOD, 2014
Premium Member
I have never masturbated so I can not tell you what you should or should not do. Debater Slayer's response seems to be useful on this. I have a problem with using porn as a method of self-harm (link included) through and I ended up going to a therapist to help me quit. The main thing is she helped me learn to understand my thoughts and my feelings better and help me to learn to love myself for who I am. Maybe you may want to see a therapist? Just a suggestion, it may help. I will also add that the Bible says all sin and fall short of the glory of God. All. Not some. No matter what God will still love you and I do not think He'll condemn you to hell for it. If you want to please God then don't beat yourself up for doing something that comes naturally to you. I do not think masturbation is wrong or a sin, much of modern research actually says it very healthy and people who do masturbate may even live longer. If you do believe it to be a sin however then do what you feel is right. I am not going to tell you how to live your life, this isn't even an issue I can give advice on. Even if it wasn't I still wouldn't tell you how to live. I wish you the best of luck and will be praying for you.

I don't believe you, no I really really don't believe you, everybody masturbates that's just a fact, some lie about it, that's a fact too.
 

VoidCat

Use any and all pronouns including neo and it/it's
I don't believe you, no I really really don't believe you, everybody masturbates that's just a fact, some lie about it, that's a fact too.
Believe what you want but I do not. I just don't have the desire to.
 

oldbadger

Skanky Old Mongrel!
This was actually about a man withdrawing before emission because he didn't want to fulfil his duty and make his dead brother's wife pregnant, so G-d lightning-bolted him.
Thankyou for that, and so it is a perfect example of the pressure put upon the people to 'couple' and to have lots of children, to make the people as strong and successful as possible.

No need for population explosion now.............. :)
 

rogerfan123

New Member
Hey guys, I am deeply thankful for you all taking the time to respond to my post. I understand everything you spoke of about masturbation, but my main issue is actually with watching pornography ( I'm not addicted) and the fact that I swore to god multiple times about this issue in the hopes of quitting but failed him. I want to make this right, and I am the one who made the promise so It's my duty to live up to my word I think. I know masturbation in and of itself isn't bad but Porn is what makes me feel guilty.
 

TheresOnlyNow

The Mind Is Everything. U R What U Think
I've lurked at or been a member of Christian discussion communities for a few years now. It never fails that someone posts, as a new member, a thread like this. I often wonder if it is because they think they'll upset the Fundies present.

I'll say this. The creator of the universe and all that exists, seen and unseen, known and as yet unrealized, would have to be myopic with nothing better to do than monitor a man and his relationship with his penis for this to be an offense that could send that man to Hell.

While the prohibition itself is derived from the OT, the Hebrew's and their Bible. Part of the evidence that the first faith is to believe human's had nothing at all to do with wording the Bible.
It all pertains to the value of the tribes and the seed of man in the early era of the Hebrew's culture.

Tribal identity. Which is why their Bible said, paraphrasing here, it was OK to enslave a people after battle. Just as long as those persons were not of the victors tribe. (There are 12 Tribes of Israel)

This is also why there is no scripture in the OT that forbids pre-marital sex.
Because in those times, teachings, having sex would mean the couple were wed. The male would then have to pay the father of the woman he bed a 'bride price'. Disturbingly enough, this pertained to the offense of rape as well.
If a Hebrew woman was raped her rapist would have to take her as bride. Paying the father 40 pieces of silver for that "right". (That's ten pieces of silver more than what Judas received for selling out the Christ to the elders of the Temple in the NT).
However, there was a catch. If the girl seemed to enjoy her ravishing both were to be stoned to death.
God of love , tribal people of whacked!

In any case, that is the whole roundabout reason masturbation is condemned. Spilling the seed, being the Hebrew legal system was prosecuted as Patriarchal, while inheritance into Judaism is Matriarchal. I.E. Passes through the woman.
Spilling the seed in masturbation was believed to have declined and insulted the tribe's inheritance of the future.

Suffice to say, if God has nothing better to do than to watch his people self-pleasure and therein condemn them to Hell for that, those folks are worshiping the wrong god.
Orgasm is of God.

Editing for this PS.
If you masturbate more than you do anything else in your day, you need a girlfriend. Or perhaps a therapist. Seriously.
 
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oldbadger

Skanky Old Mongrel!
I don't believe you, no I really really don't believe you, everybody masturbates that's just a fact, some lie about it, that's a fact too.
Hi........ the above written to another..........
Some folks have no sexual drive at all, Lyndon, although they often have other intense pursuits such as gambling, intense sports, drink, etc etc....... :)
 

VoidCat

Use any and all pronouns including neo and it/it's
Hey guys, I am deeply thankful for you all taking the time to respond to my post. I understand everything you spoke of about masturbation, but my main issue is actually with watching pornography ( I'm not addicted) and the fact that I swore to god multiple times about this issue in the hopes of quitting but failed him. I want to make this right, and I am the one who made the promise so It's my duty to live up to my word I think. I know masturbation in and of itself isn't bad but Porn is what makes me feel guilty.
As I have said I do have a problem with porn as self-harm...I had to have a therapist help me quit. Even through you aren't addicted going to a therapist could help out with that. Again just a suggestion.
 

VoidCat

Use any and all pronouns including neo and it/it's
Hi........ the above written to another..........
Some folks have no sexual drive at all, Lyndon, although they often have other intense pursuits such as gambling, intense sports, drink, etc etc....... :)
Thank you.
 

Rational Agnostic

Well-Known Member
Sounds to me like you have the libido of a normal, healthy 21 year old.

Beyond that, which do you think would more likely offend God: Masturbation, or thinking God was petty enough to condemn you for masturbation?

Exactly. Why would the creator of the universe care what humans do with their private parts?
 

Earthling

David Henson
My advice to you is to keep your faith in God and allow your knowledge to increase (John 17:3) and if you are fortunate to make it to your 50's you will likely become bored with the habit and it will diminish substantially. There's nothing in the Bible that would indicate masturbation is a sin. If you were to refrain from your habit you would eventually have nocturnal emissions naturally. But, you would have blue balls tormenting you unmercifully.
 

SalixIncendium

अहं ब्रह्मास्मि
Staff member
Premium Member
Hello everyone,

So I am currently a 21 year old in college and I am on top of my academics, never do drugs/drink and have a great social life. However, I have had a bad habit of masturbating ever since I was in the 9th grade. I can remember definitively that I have always had a guilty consciousness after I did it and have made numerous attempts to stop. I swore to god multiple times saying that I would stop, thinking to myself that, that should enough of an incentive to quit. However, I have failed repeatedly and it's always that.... once that feeling of arousal comes over me especially when I am trying to sleep then it's just like a whole another mind takes over and it becomes very hard to control. Even this past new year, I made a promise to god that I would stop it for good and change any bad things about my self ( I am very religious, read the lord's book and try to implement good habits as much as possible; however, I am not perfect and tend to make mistakes which I want to fix). In exchange, I asked for good grades in my academics, which I received through his grace.

Sadly, I haven't been able to keep up my promise and I am hating myself for it; he does so much for me, and I can't even control this stupid habit. If anyone has any suggestions on how to stop that would be great. My main trouble is at night when I am trying to fall asleep and I get aroused which is almost impossible to stop for me; so if you can tell me what to do in this instance, I would greatly appreciate it.

EDIT--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Hey guys, I am deeply thankful for you all taking the time to respond to my post. I understand everything you spoke of about masturbation, but my main issue is actually with watching pornography ( I'm not addicted) and the fact that I swore to god multiple times about this issue in the hopes of quitting but failed him. I want to make this right, and I am the one who made the promise so It's my duty to live up to my word I think. I know masturbation in and of itself isn't bad but Porn is different in my eyes.

Thank you

I agree with the sentiment in previous posts that there is no problem with the inclination to masturbate. At your age, your libido is pretty much on par with just about any other average male of the same age and the act of masturbating is quite commonplace in your age group.

Regarding the pornography concerns, if you're not addicted, as you said, and and you made a promise that you feel is important enough to be kept, why not just fulfill the promise and stop looking at porn?
 

Spiderman

Veteran Member
Sounds to me like you have the libido of a normal, healthy 21 year old.

Beyond that, which do you think would more likely offend God: Masturbation, or thinking God was petty enough to condemn you for masturbation?
True!
God understands since 99.9% of men have that habit, I don't think it could be something God would condemn people for.
 

rogerfan123

New Member
I agree with the sentiment in previous posts that there is no problem with the inclination to masturbate. At your age, your libido is pretty much on par with just about any other average male of the same age and the act of masturbating is quite commonplace in your age group.

Regarding the pornography concerns, if you're not addicted, as you said, and and you made a promise that you feel is important enough to be kept, why not just fulfill the promise and stop looking at porn?

I totally understand the sentiment, but both are linked together right? I mean I never look at pornography just for the heck of watching it. That's why i wanted to address the whole Masturbation + Pornography thing :/. I think subconsciously I obviously enjoy watching it to some degree, but I don't want to continue on this path. God this whole thing is so tough to control. On a biological level it totally makes sense, but I really through I had great control over my thoughts and actions. I hope this makes sense!
 

Cooky

Veteran Member
Hey guys, I am deeply thankful for you all taking the time to respond to my post. I understand everything you spoke of about masturbation, but my main issue is actually with watching pornography ( I'm not addicted) and the fact that I swore to god multiple times about this issue in the hopes of quitting but failed him. I want to make this right, and I am the one who made the promise so It's my duty to live up to my word I think. I know masturbation in and of itself isn't bad but Porn is what makes me feel guilty.

Anything that makes someone feel guilty, must be wrong IMO.
 

Cooky

Veteran Member
My advice to you is to keep your faith in God and allow your knowledge to increase (John 17:3) and if you are fortunate to make it to your 50's you will likely become bored with the habit and it will diminish substantially. There's nothing in the Bible that would indicate masturbation is a sin. If you were to refrain from your habit you would eventually have nocturnal emissions naturally. But, you would have blue balls tormenting you unmercifully.

I think "blue balls" is a myth.
 

Rival

Diex Aie
Staff member
Premium Member
OK I'll help:
  • Remember to lock the door.
  • Don't do it in a bathroom because you will just annoy people who need to go.
  • Carry tissues and/or an old sock.
  • If you use porn, use headphones.
  • You'll come harder thinking about someone you really, really like. It's just biology.
  • Spit really doesn't cut it, at least have some Vaseline or baby oil.
Five informatives! Pritty sure all this is common knowledge!
 

robocop (actually)

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
Hello everyone,

So I am currently a 21 year old in college and I am on top of my academics, never do drugs/drink and have a great social life. However, I have had a bad habit of masturbating ever since I was in the 9th grade. I can remember definitively that I have always had a guilty consciousness after I did it and have made numerous attempts to stop. I swore to god multiple times saying that I would stop, thinking to myself that, that should enough of an incentive to quit. However, I have failed repeatedly and it's always that.... once that feeling of arousal comes over me especially when I am trying to sleep then it's just like a whole another mind takes over and it becomes very hard to control. Even this past new year, I made a promise to god that I would stop it for good and change any bad things about my self ( I am very religious, read the lord's book and try to implement good habits as much as possible; however, I am not perfect and tend to make mistakes which I want to fix). In exchange, I asked for good grades in my academics, which I received through his grace.

Sadly, I haven't been able to keep up my promise and I am hating myself for it; he does so much for me, and I can't even control this stupid habit. If anyone has any suggestions on how to stop that would be great. My main trouble is at night when I am trying to fall asleep and I get aroused which is almost impossible to stop for me; so if you can tell me what to do in this instance, I would greatly appreciate it.

EDIT--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Hey guys, I am deeply thankful for you all taking the time to respond to my post. I understand everything you spoke of about masturbation, but my main issue is actually with watching pornography ( I'm not addicted) and the fact that I swore to god multiple times about this issue in the hopes of quitting but failed him. I want to make this right, and I am the one who made the promise so It's my duty to live up to my word I think. I know masturbation in and of itself isn't bad but Porn is different in my eyes.

Thank you
If you stop masturbating you will stop looking at porn intentionally.

While it's difficult at age 21 I went 6 months clean when I was like 16 so I know it's possible... I just didn't want to do it then.

Two keys to not masturbate as much: Distract your body, distract your mind. If you feel the urge go for a walk. Looking at bad pictures or revealing women is impossible to avoid, but try to avoid them and keep your mind clean. If you concentrate on something else as soon as possible, usually that image will go away in a short time.

Another key is to work in a team.
 
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robocop (actually)

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
I don't believe you, no I really really don't believe you, everybody masturbates that's just a fact, some lie about it, that's a fact too.
Since August I masturbated twice because I believed in a different religion... when I believe in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints I do not masturbate any more.
 
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