I want to believe in God again.

[meghanwaterlillies]

Do you want to believe in God or a dogma? So many people are trying to find a God that does something for them, not to do something for the God. There are hurdles most religious people may go through. Like monotheists brainwashed and just discovering myth and polytheism, and understanding that there are hundreds of "Gods" and that religion is erroneous.

Good luck finding your personal Jesus Christ.

Personally I don't know what to do, or who "God" is right now, or like, King of the Gods or Chieftain. "Monotheism" didn't mean there weren't more Gods, just to worship 1 God only, then some stuff about the 1 true god. That was the biggest tragedy in religion let alone religion being the biggest tragedy in human history.


I don't necessarily believe in God or a dogma, but revere the Gods.


Perhaps we will learn the truth one day.

What about then revelation?

 

[Whiterain]

What about then revelation?

I don't know. My UPG lead me to believe we have experience numerous tragedies through the ages, Catholicism in general being one. In an age such as this with instant communication things would have been different. I don't like to think hypothetically, or how it could have been, nor does this ghostly Zeus being. This delusion of mine consists of dozens of beings or gods, Olympians, AEsir, Vanir, Hindu gods, so on... They just started talking to me. Anytime I try to share my UPG I guess I do it wrong, because it infuriates peoples. Always being banned or deleted.

Anyway, what has happened has happened and retribution is in order. I do not know who God is, but have a hunch it is not "Jesus Christ". What could have been, how things could have been different, that's asinine thinking as well. People have to stop thinking hypothetically and in hindsight, that's like traditional thinking now. Think immediate,rationally and logically.


For now Mankinds next step is the abandonment of Religion and "Superstition," with appropriate thinking in order, and think deductive and explain things in practical ways as they present themselves. I find our rhubarb on Earth grotesque but we are bygone incredible for sure. I am reluctant to say the Gods refuse to prove they exist deliberately, it's quite a bit of suffering over their methods. I can't say "Malevolence" is their pastime... Their methods are their own and I have yet to judge publically anyway, however, I would have a glandular expulsion if someone were to publicly declare Hera an c-nt., Libertas is a sadist.

I don't know what to make of it all. Perhaps one day things will explain themselves or an immortal will have the gumption to write a book. Religion in it's form is a bit cult like and diminutive, we can't come to revere the gods with respect and pride to whomever. Then there's the old religion with Gods as ancestors in various cultures. Contemporary views conflict with this as seeing it as a threat or something, regardless of whether or not it's true, it's not about supremacy. I have an affinity for Norse myth and find solace in it where I do not find anything but madness in all that middle-eastern mumbo jumbo. Like why did they want us to meld with their thinking? It's catastrophic...

The way they explained Norse myth to me was those Elves,Dwarves are extinct races like the Jackalope, and apparently the truth is evilution. - Creation myth was a joke. (?)

I have a feeling we misunderstood God entirely as well... And it went on through the ages and God didn't give a damn to fix it.

The dogma I learned was never to rely on God or divine intervention, to never hope and make happen. Be industrious and survive at all costs. People seek closure in religion or delusions, my delusions are pretty articulate.


Perhaps we'll learn the truth someday, let's hope and pray it wasn't destroyed or covered up.

 

[meghanwaterlillies]

I don't know. My UPG lead me to believe we have experience numerous tragedies through the ages, Catholicism in general being one. In an age such as this with instant communication things would have been different. I don't like to think hypothetically, or how it could have been, nor does this ghostly Zeus being. This delusion of mine consists of dozens of beings or gods, Olympians, AEsir, Vanir, Hindu gods, so on... They just started talking to me. Anytime I try to share my UPG I guess I do it wrong, because it infuriates peoples. Always being banned or deleted.

Anyway, what has happened has happened and retribution is in order. I do not know who God is, but have a hunch it is not "Jesus Christ". What could have been, how things could have been different, that's asinine thinking as well. People have to stop thinking hypothetically and in hindsight, that's like traditional thinking now. Think immediate,rationally and logically.


For now Mankinds next step is the abandonment of Religion and "Superstition," with appropriate thinking in order, and think deductive and explain things in practical ways as they present themselves. I find our rhubarb on Earth grotesque but we are bygone incredible for sure. I am reluctant to say the Gods refuse to prove they exist deliberately, it's quite a bit of suffering over their methods. I can't say "Malevolence" is their pastime... Their methods are their own and I have yet to judge publically anyway, however, I would have a glandular expulsion if someone were to publicly declare Hera an c-nt., Libertas is a sadist.

I don't know what to make of it all. Perhaps one day things will explain themselves or an immortal will have the gumption to write a book. Religion in it's form is a bit cult like and diminutive, we can't come to revere the gods with respect and pride to whomever. Then there's the old religion with Gods as ancestors in various cultures. Contemporary views conflict with this as seeing it as a threat or something, regardless of whether or not it's true, it's not about supremacy. I have an affinity for Norse myth and find solace in it where I do not find anything but madness in all that middle-eastern mumbo jumbo. Like why did they want us to meld with their thinking? It's catastrophic...

The way they explained Norse myth to me was those Elves,Dwarves are extinct races like the Jackalope, and apparently the truth is evilution. - Creation myth was a joke. (?)

I have a feeling we misunderstood God entirely as well... And it went on through the ages and God didn't give a damn to fix it.

The dogma I learned was never to rely on God or divine intervention, to never hope and make happen. Be industrious and survive at all costs. People seek closure in religion or delusions, my delusions are pretty articulate.


Perhaps we'll learn the truth someday, let's hope and pray it wasn't destroyed or covered up.

I seen the ideas g o d s and they did nothing but hurt people and they didn't survive themselves.

 

[Deidre]

God loves you, SF. He always has and He always will. And no earthly church can ever change this. It is so sad that many religions seem to think that God is containable, or controllable. But, He is God, who is not entirely understandable. What we know of Him, is that we believe He is love. People can often taint the beautiful message of God, like some Christians, but just stay focused on the beauty and love of God, for His love isn't fickle, and doesn't change. I was on a journey too for a few years, it can take some time to find where you feel most ''at home.''

 

[ZooGirl02]

I keep flip-flopping between religions and I'm tired of it. I should just learn my lesson - polytheism doesn't really click with me and it's a lonely experience for me. It doesn't bring me peace of mind and I don't really feel the gods, not in the same way I've experienced the Christian God in the past. That's just my experience.

But I am very angry and bitter at Christians, specifically Catholics, for how they have treated me and people like me. I do not feel like I was really accepted as a Catholic. I cannot stand the judgmentalism and hypocrisy. But if I commit to Christianity again, it would have to be Catholicism because I simply can't see myself being a Protestant. Orthodoxy is an option, but that's too culturally foreign to me. I miss going to Mass, I miss the feeling of peace, warmth and love I felt praying and meditating, I miss the sense of wonder. I also would not become some super-conservative type. That's just not me. I know how to reconcile being queer, trans and sex-positive with Christianity, within myself.

I don't know. A lot of the time I feel like my relationship with God and the Church is so broken that it can't be fixed and I'm just fooling myself.

I don't know where I'm going with this post, I'm just tired.

I am sorry for any hurt feelings that others have caused you but I want you to consider this. You wouldn't forsake Jesus because of Judas' sin would you? If not, then don't forsake the Catholic Church because of the sins of others. That said, I am sure you know my beliefs about the LGBT issues and I am sure you know the official teachings of the Catholic Church on them as well so I won't bring that into the discussion.

Anyway, I do hope that you can forgive those who have hurt you and let God give you the grace to have an increase in faith.

 

[Whiterain]

I seen the ideas g o d s and they did nothing but hurt people and they didn't survive themselves.

What a cliffhanger. Can you elaborate on the extremities?

Things were spiraling to starving and homeless. The delusions said what needed to be said while preparing me for desolation, Including motivating me to take control of the situation itself and get my life together. I'm relatively fine now with a healthy looking future.. Embrace the intensity of sobriety, get clean, groom, dress business casual no matter what happens.

Been off the sauce 9 months, can't wait to have a shot of whiskey on New Years. I sat this year aside as a healing time.


It would probably look pathological sating my ego or something if I wrote it all out. I didn't ask for this, honestly, my ego and identity was healthy before "psychosis".

Religious folk seem to have a problem meeting a middle ground between faith/religion and psychosis.

 

[meghanwaterlillies]

What a cliffhanger. Can you elaborate on the extremities?

Things were spiraling to starving and homeless. The delusions said what needed to be said while preparing me for desolation, Including motivating me to take control of the situation itself and get my life together. I'm relatively fine now with a healthy looking future.. Embrace the intensity of sobriety, get clean, groom, dress business casual no matter what happens.

Been off the sauce 9 months, can't wait to have a shot of whiskey on New Years. I sat this year aside as a healing time.


It would probably look pathological sating my ego or something if I wrote it all out. I didn't ask for this, honestly, my ego and identity was healthy before "psychosis".

Religious folk seem to have a problem meeting a middle ground between faith/religion and psychosis.

have you ever seen john dies at the end... Well that's not true John doesn't actually die at the end (words of Christ).. I don't agree with the desolation ideas. (I put Jesus there, but that's just me) well some others move about it around it, I hope you come better than not..
If you watch that movie I think you'll like it.

 

[paarsurrey]

I want to believe in God again.

In which religion is one in these days, please?
Regards

 

[Samantha Rinne]

I keep flip-flopping between religions and I'm tired of it. I should just learn my lesson - polytheism doesn't really click with me and it's a lonely experience for me. It doesn't bring me peace of mind and I don't really feel the gods, not in the same way I've experienced the Christian God in the past. That's just my experience.

But I am very angry and bitter at Christians, specifically Catholics, for how they have treated me and people like me. I do not feel like I was really accepted as a Catholic. I cannot stand the judgmentalism and hypocrisy. But if I commit to Christianity again, it would have to be Catholicism because I simply can't see myself being a Protestant. Orthodoxy is an option, but that's too culturally foreign to me. I miss going to Mass, I miss the feeling of peace, warmth and love I felt praying and meditating, I miss the sense of wonder. I also would not become some super-conservative type. That's just not me. I know how to reconcile being queer, trans and sex-positive with Christianity, within myself.

I don't know. A lot of the time I feel like my relationship with God and the Church is so broken that it can't be fixed and I'm just fooling myself.

I don't know where I'm going with this post, I'm just tired.

Considering the Arabic, I'd say you've tried Islam too, and probably found them pretty unwelcoming towards trans (I dunno what sex-positive is, actually, but okay).

Lemme tell you a story. I was originally kinda liberal, and very closeted. Now I'm fairly openly genderfluid except for the occasional shyness. I've since become increasingly conservative, as I've realized that when the Orlando nightclub shooting happened, Trump promised to have our back by securing our borders from terrorism and securing oue gun rights. As a transgender/genderfluid person, this made me feel considerably safer than Clinton's pronouncement to increase the number of sanctuary cities, and in her speech about Orlando, she talked about gun control. Would gun control protect those poor ppl in that club? No, they'd be more dead and faster.

Now this story is not about me becoming a conservative. That is what I call a side note. The point of the side note is that as a result of that I was told at a political booth in a Pride fest that there's "no such thing" and I've been told I'm homophobic, effectively erasing my identity as a trans genderfluid woman. In other words, I'm like a unicorn. Not wanted among the horses and told I don't exist.

So, you can imagine what my search for a decent church is like.

Let's start the real story though. In about 2011 I was deeply closeted, and concealing the fact that I felt like a woman from my own family. As a result of a panic attack/early midlife crisis/psychotic break I suddenly decided my parents and employers and stuff like that were out to get me (I hadn't had much sleep and something in my private life didn't seem right) and I went all the way to Wyoming in the fall, before realizing that winter starts early in the Northwest. I was stuck in a blizzard, woke up to find someone had written something on my windshield, drove back, and almost hit a telephone pole. I spent the night at a rest stop, only to find my car dead battery in the morning. Got help from this guy and made it back to Richmond. I spent time in the lonely busy city for about two years, finding myself. When I was unemployed for awhile, I eventually moved back home, but before that, I worked at Amazon, I searched for churches, and I did events in the city. As I was working in Amazon, I was trying to meet insane quotas, and at the same time I was taking therapy. A book I came across at Amazon was called the Gifts of Imperfection, and the therapist recommended When Panic Attacks. They were both saying the same thing, a secular version of an extremely Christian concept. Grace. At some point, I realized that all the paranoia in my head over the last few years, that something was missing in my life. So I went back to church. I tried Catholic, just as something different. This was a big church, and nobody seemed to notice anyone, and I was super-confused (raised Episcopalian, we don't cross ourselves). I scratched out Catholic after not being sure how to cross myself, being weirded out about the communion and letting the host dissolve on your tongue, and I don't buy the whole wine BECOMING the blood of Christ. It's a symbol, not a magic trick. So next I went to one of these trendy Powerpoint Gospel things that acts like a cafe. A newspaper article wrote about these, called The Last Temptation of Cool, essentially they ate fundie churches but trying to look hip, but when it comes time to be loved and accepted, you don't really feel it. Now, the people there, I actually felt it with them. But the minister was like "you should use the men's bathroom" and gave a Marriage and Family sermon. Then he fields questions and talks about how gays are in a false relationship, and talked about all sorts of stuff and I realized he insulted not just me but my whole apartment. I walked out middle of service. I didn't feel all that great, but the point is most of the ppl there were far more welcoming than fundies churches are by reputation. As I walked out, one of the guys sitting near me told me, that this isn't all to the message. He was right, the quote used to judge gays is 1 Corinthians 6:9-10. But the very next line goes, "And that is what some of you were, but you have been washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." I went to a Unity church, and the idea was cool, but they seemed narcissistic. So I found the Episcopal church that was kinda social justice version of the church I grew up in. They accepted me, but ultimately I had to leave town, and when I went to a similar church, I found I didn't like the social justice thing.

Ultimately, I went to Methodist, although privately, I believe trippy things. I believe the Savior has already been reborn, but comes as not one person but to be seen through the ppl you meet. I believe, as many Buddhists do, that reality is largely an illusion, and I believe that the world we live in reflects what your attitude about it is (sorta, the Knowledge of Good and Evil colors everything, so you go to the amusement park you can either see it as fun and it is, or"what a dump" and you start to notice creaking sounds on the rides).

I'd recommend Protestant. There are alot of flavors including Episcopal which is sorta a weird hybrid. But they believe by and large, that you are not saved by your actions, which is what messes most people up, they feel like they've failed somehow. They also have less ritual, and it's easier to follow the service. Other than that, it is important to remember that when you start to love yourself, ppl start to be more forgiving. A person who hates themselves usually winds up drawing notice, and they notice your flaws too. It's like a funhouse mirror only it's a social behavior. When you love yourself, suddenly you understand that that church that seems not to be welcoming is just filled with damaged people (including the priest) and regardless of their denomination or politics, reaching out to them means they try also to welcome you.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I want to believe in God again.

In which religion is one in these days, please?
Regards

Instead of bumping a 2 year old thread, you could've just asked me on my profile page. I'm not in any organized religion in particular.

 

[paarsurrey]

Instead of bumping a 2 year old thread, you could've just asked me on my profile page. I'm not in any organized religion in particular.

Does one know that the Arabic sentence under one's name is generally used when one dies?
Regards
____________
*Quranic use is, however different and good:
[2:156]
And We will try you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and lives, and fruits; but give glad tidings to the patient,
[2:157]
Who, when a misfortune overtakes them, say, ‘Surely, to Allah we belong and to Him shall we return.’
[2:158]
It is these on whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy, and it is these who are rightly guided.
The Holy Quran - Chapter: 2: Al-Baqarah

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Does one know that the Arabic sentence under one's name is generally used when one dies?
Regards
____________
Quranic use is, however different and good:
[2:156]
And We will try you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and lives, and fruits; but give glad tidings to the patient,
[2:157]
Who, when a misfortune overtakes them, say, ‘Surely, to Allah we belong and to Him shall we return.’
[2:158]
It is these on whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy, and it is these who are rightly guided.
The Holy Quran - Chapter: 2: Al-Baqarah

Yeah, I do.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Considering the Arabic, I'd say you've tried Islam too, and probably found them pretty unwelcoming towards trans (I dunno what sex-positive is, actually, but okay).

Lemme tell you a story. I was originally kinda liberal, and very closeted. Now I'm fairly openly genderfluid except for the occasional shyness. I've since become increasingly conservative, as I've realized that when the Orlando nightclub shooting happened, Trump promised to have our back by securing our borders from terrorism and securing oue gun rights. As a transgender/genderfluid person, this made me feel considerably safer than Clinton's pronouncement to increase the number of sanctuary cities, and in her speech about Orlando, she talked about gun control. Would gun control protect those poor ppl in that club? No, they'd be more dead and faster.

Now this story is not about me becoming a conservative. That is what I call a side note. The point of the side note is that as a result of that I was told at a political booth in a Pride fest that there's "no such thing" and I've been told I'm homophobic, effectively erasing my identity as a trans genderfluid woman. In other words, I'm like a unicorn. Not wanted among the horses and told I don't exist.

So, you can imagine what my search for a decent church is like.

Let's start the real story though. In about 2011 I was deeply closeted, and concealing the fact that I felt like a woman from my own family. As a result of a panic attack/early midlife crisis/psychotic break I suddenly decided my parents and employers and stuff like that were out to get me (I hadn't had much sleep and something in my private life didn't seem right) and I went all the way to Wyoming in the fall, before realizing that winter starts early in the Northwest. I was stuck in a blizzard, woke up to find someone had written something on my windshield, drove back, and almost hit a telephone pole. I spent the night at a rest stop, only to find my car dead battery in the morning. Got help from this guy and made it back to Richmond. I spent time in the lonely busy city for about two years, finding myself. When I was unemployed for awhile, I eventually moved back home, but before that, I worked at Amazon, I searched for churches, and I did events in the city. As I was working in Amazon, I was trying to meet insane quotas, and at the same time I was taking therapy. A book I came across at Amazon was called the Gifts of Imperfection, and the therapist recommended When Panic Attacks. They were both saying the same thing, a secular version of an extremely Christian concept. Grace. At some point, I realized that all the paranoia in my head over the last few years, that something was missing in my life. So I went back to church. I tried Catholic, just as something different. This was a big church, and nobody seemed to notice anyone, and I was super-confused (raised Episcopalian, we don't cross ourselves). I scratched out Catholic after not being sure how to cross myself, being weirded out about the communion and letting the host dissolve on your tongue, and I don't buy the whole wine BECOMING the blood of Christ. It's a symbol, not a magic trick. So next I went to one of these trendy Powerpoint Gospel things that acts like a cafe. A newspaper article wrote about these, called The Last Temptation of Cool, essentially they ate fundie churches but trying to look hip, but when it comes time to be loved and accepted, you don't really feel it. Now, the people there, I actually felt it with them. But the minister was like "you should use the men's bathroom" and gave a Marriage and Family sermon. Then he fields questions and talks about how gays are in a false relationship, and talked about all sorts of stuff and I realized he insulted not just me but my whole apartment. I walked out middle of service. I didn't feel all that great, but the point is most of the ppl there were far more welcoming than fundies churches are by reputation. As I walked out, one of the guys sitting near me told me, that this isn't all to the message. He was right, the quote used to judge gays is 1 Corinthians 6:9-10. But the very next line goes, "And that is what some of you were, but you have been washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." I went to a Unity church, and the idea was cool, but they seemed narcissistic. So I found the Episcopal church that was kinda social justice version of the church I grew up in. They accepted me, but ultimately I had to leave town, and when I went to a similar church, I found I didn't like the social justice thing.

Ultimately, I went to Methodist, although privately, I believe trippy things. I believe the Savior has already been reborn, but comes as not one person but to be seen through the ppl you meet. I believe, as many Buddhists do, that reality is largely an illusion, and I believe that the world we live in reflects what your attitude about it is (sorta, the Knowledge of Good and Evil colors everything, so you go to the amusement park you can either see it as fun and it is, or"what a dump" and you start to notice creaking sounds on the rides).

I'd recommend Protestant. There are alot of flavors including Episcopal which is sorta a weird hybrid. But they believe by and large, that you are not saved by your actions, which is what messes most people up, they feel like they've failed somehow. They also have less ritual, and it's easier to follow the service. Other than that, it is important to remember that when you start to love yourself, ppl start to be more forgiving. A person who hates themselves usually winds up drawing notice, and they notice your flaws too. It's like a funhouse mirror only it's a social behavior. When you love yourself, suddenly you understand that that church that seems not to be welcoming is just filled with damaged people (including the priest) and regardless of their denomination or politics, reaching out to them means they try also to welcome you.

Thanks for sharing. I'm glad you found yourself and your faith.

This thread is a few years old. Someone bumped this. So it's out of date. I do believe in God. I'm not interested in Christianity at all, though. I don't agree with its teachings. My views are closer to Islam and Judaism. I have the Quranic quote under my name because I like it and find it comforting.

 

[Samantha Rinne]

I have trouble understanding that, honestly.

When I think of Islam, and I think of LGBT and trans ppl, I think of the picture I saw of ISIS throwing gay ppl off a roof then stoning them.

But whatever, I guess. I found acceptance at places I didn't expect, and rejection at places that I thought would be more accepting.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I have trouble understanding that, honestly.

When I think of Islam, and I think of LGBT and trans ppl, I think of the picture I saw of ISIS throwing gay ppl off a roof then stoning them.

But whatever, I guess. I found acceptance at places I didn't expect, and rejection at places that I thought would be more accepting.

That's kind of hypocritical. Christians used to murder LGBT people and still do in some cases. Pretty much all Muslims abhor Daesh and are doing the most to defeat them.

Besides, I live in America, not the Middle East. (Although I'd be fine as a trans man in Iran.) Polls show that most American Muslims are okay with gays and poll higher on that then a lot of Christians do. (I'm not aware of a poll of their thoughts on trans people.)

 

[Thief]

I don't know where I'm going with this post, I'm just tired.

so.....turn out the lights....take a nap

as you doze off.....ask God
How are You doing?

that's what I do

 

[Sand Dancer]

I keep flip-flopping between religions and I'm tired of it. I should just learn my lesson - polytheism doesn't really click with me and it's a lonely experience for me. It doesn't bring me peace of mind and I don't really feel the gods, not in the same way I've experienced the Christian God in the past. That's just my experience.

But I am very angry and bitter at Christians, specifically Catholics, for how they have treated me and people like me. I do not feel like I was really accepted as a Catholic. I cannot stand the judgmentalism and hypocrisy. But if I commit to Christianity again, it would have to be Catholicism because I simply can't see myself being a Protestant. Orthodoxy is an option, but that's too culturally foreign to me. I miss going to Mass, I miss the feeling of peace, warmth and love I felt praying and meditating, I miss the sense of wonder. I also would not become some super-conservative type. That's just not me. I know how to reconcile being queer, trans and sex-positive with Christianity, within myself.

I don't know. A lot of the time I feel like my relationship with God and the Church is so broken that it can't be fixed and I'm just fooling myself.

I don't know where I'm going with this post, I'm just tired.

I am going through the same exact thing. I am really bummed out about it.