if your girlfriends parents didn't give you their blessing to marry her

[Breathe]

Since your in-laws are your in-laws for as long as the marriage lasts, I think it's best to try to iron out any issues beforehand. Hopefully, they will try to understand. It would be tough to put a wedge in the family.

I completely agree.
Although to be honest, I imagine that any 'faith' issues can easily be overcome by discussion, for the most part, or are being used as a cover-up for the fact that the in-laws simply don't like "you" (not you personally ) and don't think their child should marry "you", or is related to issues of upbringing children.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Since your in-laws are your in-laws for as long as the marriage lasts, I think it's best to try to iron out any issues beforehand. Hopefully, they will try to understand. It would be tough to put a wedge in the family.

IMO, if a woman's parents disapprove of her fiance and she doesn't care, there's almost certainly already a wedge in the family that has nothing to do with the guy... even if this isn't acknowledged by all the members of the family.

 

[Agha]

I would respect her parents' wishes. A marriage brings together two families, not just two people. However, the reason given (as stated in the original post) is, in my opinion, a pretty poor reason to reject a suitor. Perhaps their minds could be changed. They clearly don't have a problem with me dating their daughter (I would have asked in the beginning) and the jump to marriage is just that, a jump. Not a paradigm shattering event.

It's best to not sour a marriage right off by alienating yourself from your spouses parents.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

I wouldn't marry anyone who still needed their parents' permission regarding important life decisions. I'd only ever be interested in marrying independent, mature adults with minds of their own.

 

[BruceDLimber]

For Baha'is, there's no wedding possible until all living parents of the couple give consent. Simple as that.

If they don't, it's a matter of waiting and prayer; and usually the parents consent eventually. (And if not, the couple tends to outlive them, anyway.)

This is important because the parents' right to interfere largely ends once consent is given, which tends to be a wonderful preventative for the notorious and well-known "in-law problem."

Peace,

Bruce

 

[Gordian Knot]

I wouldn't marry anyone who still needed their parents' permission regarding important life decisions. I'd only ever be interested in marrying independent, mature adults with minds of their own.

I do not disagree with you KT, though I would add an addendum of sorts. Yes two mature adults should make their own decision. At the same time though, inter family relations cannot be just thrown aside.

Most marriages end up having in-law issues of one form or another even when everything else is nominal. The reality is if the couple chooses to ignore the religious convictions of the parents, there is going to be hell to pay.

The couple has to be accepting of the strain their decision is going to have on the relationships with their parents. And the strain this is going to put on the two of them in their marriage. They have to be okay with the idea that it could easily come down to a total break from one set of parents or the other (or both!).

Like I said up top, I agree with you that the couple have to make the decision that is best for them. They also have to consider the realities of how their decision will affect their relationship and the relationships with the parents.

 

[Sand Dancer]

I completely agree.
Although to be honest, I imagine that any 'faith' issues can easily be overcome by discussion, for the most part, or are being used as a cover-up for the fact that the in-laws simply don't like "you" (not you personally ) and don't think their child should marry "you", or is related to issues of upbringing children.

I would hope that open conversation would clear up any difficulties. Of course you're not talking about me. My in-laws LOVE me!

 

[Breathe]

I would hope that open conversation would clear up any difficulties. Of course you're not talking about me. My in-laws LOVE me!

Agreed, and same here; I'm spoilt by them.