"I'm Offended"

[MysticSang'ha]

There are two topics that I think are getting muddled here.

1. Being offended
2. Being critical

I see these are two separate entities (but it is possible to hit both).

Sure it is. If I'm offended by something, the first thing I do is see if the problem is me and my own bias and filters, if the problem is the directness, context, and implication of the slur/insult/dismissiveness of the other party's rhetoric, or a little of both.

If I see anything insulting, degrading, or dehumanizing in a conversation public or private, I'll say so. If it's triggering (and those are specific in nature and not a generalized topic per se), I'll cope best I can. But if a trigger is repeatedly applied I'll either have a private conversation to request a different approach out of respect for my health - and if I feel the other party gives a **** - or I bow out because it's not worth my time or my sanity.

 

[Thief]

in my old neighborhood.....greetings might be dealt by a swift punch to the eye socket.....as if to knock you down...
no words
no cause
only offense intended.

at distance the call to rumble was dealt....Hey! *****!

now that I'm older if find my fellowman offended by the least of things.
as if sensitivity is justified by all the news we get on tv....

I say....we should thicken our skins and keep our pistols in our pockets

 

[Deathbydefault]

You speak poetically which makes your style hard to understand.
But I think I got your point and agree with you.

 

[Quintessence]

Is it alright to offend others purposefully?

If "being a jerk" is a virtue we wish to cultivate, if we have antisocial personality disorder (aka, sociopathy or psychopathy), or if we wish to serve gods of discord, strife, war, and anger, then yes.

 

[Deathbydefault]

If "being a jerk" is a virtue we wish to cultivate, if we have antisocial personality disorder (aka, sociopathy or psychopathy), or if we wish to serve gods of discord, strife, war, and anger, then yes.

Actually, I do have APD.
that doesn't really justify the jerk thing, but still.

I mean this in the sense of insulting those who need it.
There are plenty of bigots and people of high-society that need to be brought down a few pegs.

 

[Sunstone]

The question of whether to take offense strikes me as more nuanced than simply being for or against it.

 

[McBell]

Interesting how so many jump straight to the extremes....
The poll question is if everyone should be subject to criticism.
I vote yes.

Does that mean I agree with a white person walking into a group of black people using racial slurs to offend?
No, it does not.

Seems far to many are unable and or unwilling to discern the difference.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Anyone want to take a stab at the words "gaslighting" or "mansplaining"?

Offensive? Yes or no? Abusive? Yes or no? Should they be removed from conversation for being too offensive?

 

[MysticSang'ha]

If "being a jerk" is a virtue we wish to cultivate, if we have antisocial personality disorder (aka, sociopathy or psychopathy), or if we wish to serve gods of discord, strife, war, and anger, then yes.

That's difficult to argue against.

 

[Deathbydefault]

Interesting how so many jump straight to the extremes....
The poll question is if everyone should be subject to criticism.
I vote yes.

Does that mean I agree with a white person walking into a group of black people using racial slurs to offend?
No, it does not.

Seems far to many are unable and or unwilling to discern the difference.

In fairness, extremes often need to be addressed in conversations like this, to get them out of the way if nothing else.

 

[RedDragon94]

Is it alright to offend others purposefully?

I don't think so. At the same time I think it's impossible to be not offended even a little bit when criticized.

Do you feel that offending others should be avoided?

I don't want to sound hypocritical here, so, yes. Unless if there is a group doing something like inciting violence against another group of people we shouldn't criticize other people. I try to be libertarian about things.

Is it okay to with you to avoid offending a party who incites violence when criticized, and because they are criticized?

Maybe I don't get what you're trying to say fully. Criticizing and demeaning someone are two different things. And here's the thing about criticism, it always communicates that this group of people (whom I may or may not have a connection to) should be more like me. This is a closed-minded approach to life. Which tells you that this is one of the most closed-minded periods of time in the world. Just watch Youtube and it becomes obvious that there is a war of ideas going on all around us.

 

[George-ananda]

This concept of the freedom to offend is necessary for free speech. Now regarding the current Muslim tensions in the west, I think for Muslims to exist in the western world they have to accept that others have a right to offend them and that they can only respond in legal and non-violent ways. If they can't accept this situation, then they have no place stepping foot in a western country.

 

[YmirGF]

Why is it that people seem to think those two words constitute an argument?

Intellectual lethargy?

There is much of this going on in the world today and in the past as well.
There have been plenty of instances where people will act out when they get offended.
Resorting to violence is childish, it's the grownup equivalent to throwing a temper tantrum.

Well, it certainly can be, but are you really going to take a 250 lb. drunken man, built like the Terminator, to task for saying you are an poofter?

Is it alright to offend others purposefully?

As long as you are prepared to face the consequences, fill your boots.

Do you feel that offending others should be avoided?

If doing otherwise does not seem particularly productive or prudent or puts you are risk of receiving significant personal harm. Sometimes it is better not to poke sleeping lions with sharp sticks. It's a case by case thingy.

Is it okay to with you to avoid offending a party who incites violence when criticized, and because they are criticized?

Barring putting your personal safety at risk, one should take such human animals to task when they behave badly. Timing is essential though.

 

[McBell]

In fairness, extremes often need to be addressed in conversations like this, to get them out of the way if nothing else.

I agree.
However, it seems there is confusion between the poll question and the thread title.
Now wether that confusion is on the part of others or myself I am still unclear on.

 

[averageJOE]

I honestly don't understand the OP. This thread sounds like, to me, "People should stop being offended so easy. So stop saying I'm offensive. It bothers me."

 

[Father Heathen]

Not particularly, no.

What happened to decency?

 

[Mycroft]

What alternative do you suggest?

Growing up and dealing with it.

 

[Mycroft]

What happened to decency?

That's an expectation you project onto the world. The world is not obliged to reflect that expectation - and indeed often wont.

 

[Father Heathen]

That's an expectation you project onto the world. The world is not obliged to reflect that expectation - and indeed often wont.

I was being facetious and highlighting a point regarding his first post.

 

[Politesse]

What happened to decency?

It does not obligate one to agree with everyone, only to be considerate.