In need of help.

[Spirit of Light]

Lately, the Amanaki that I used to be has become blurred, Feels like the Amanaki that I used to be, do not exist anymore. and to be honest, I am confused, everything in my life has crumbled and fallen away, and I am now a person without any understanding of who I am supposed to be, or what I can or can not say anymore.

Right now I am on the lowest of my life, I do not own any physical objects, I lost the love of my life when she asked that we no longer were engaged. but we are still friends so I do not blame her for my confusion. Our life just becomes very complicated and not much love was given either way in the end.

This forum used to be (maybe it still is) a good place to be a member, I felt I was giving something to others. but lately, I have had no inspiration and no energy to give.
And then the coronavirus arrived and made it more or less impossible to go out, been stuck in the apartment for more than a month now. And it does not seem to be any better in the near future.

And lastly, the spiritual part of me got a kick in the nuts today when in one of the posts I was accused of being a lost soul who are an evil person. That made it extra difficult to see any form of happiness.

For crying out loud, I use to be a happy person who loved speaking to others about spiritual topics. I honestly don't anymore.

Sorry for my rant. Did not mean to spoil other people's day.

 

[Rival]

Evil? You're not evil.

Maybe you should give religion a wide berth for the minute and do what makes you happy, to lift this depression.

 

[Spirit of Light]

Evil? You're not evil.

Maybe you should give religion a wide berth for the minute and do what makes you happy, to lift this depression.

I am thinking of taking a break from RF to think of my health yes.

The "funny" threads the last few days from my side was an attempt of lifting my own spirit, but my humor suck

 

[ChristineM]

Lately, the Amanaki that I used to be has become blurred, Feels like the Amanaki that I used to be, do not exist anymore. and to be honest, I am confused, everything in my life has crumbled and fallen away, and I am now a person without any understanding of who I am supposed to be, or what I can or can not say anymore.

Right now I am on the lowest of my life, I do not own any physical objects, I lost the love of my life when she asked that we no longer were engaged. but we are still friends so I do not blame her for my confusion. Our life just becomes very complicated and not much love was given either way in the end.

This forum used to be (maybe it still is) a good place to be a member, I felt I was giving something to others. but lately, I have had no inspiration and no energy to give.
And then the coronavirus arrived and made it more or less impossible to go out, been stuck in the apartment for more than a month now. And it does not seem to be any better in the near future.

And lastly, the spiritual part of me got a kick in the nuts today when in one of the posts I was accused of being a lost soul who are an evil person. That made it extra difficult to see any form of happiness.

For crying out loud, I use to be a happy person who loved speaking to others about spiritual topics. I honestly don't anymore.

Sorry for my rant. Did not mean to spoil other people's day.

First, you add plenty to this forums, if you don't think you have given a positive contribution then why are you getting the frubals and great, interesting comments.

Second, coronavirus is a real pain for us all, but in time (who knows how much time) it will pass, things will be different for sure but life will continue.

Third, you are too sensitive to criticism and whoever accused you has no fecking idea what they are talking about. Evil? You? Take no notice of the ignorant hate merchant.

Fourth, if you are not enjoying speaking about what you love then have a rest, concentrate on your art for a while, or something else you enjoy, it will come back

 

[Spirit of Light]

First, you add plenty to this forums, if you don't think you have given a positive contribution then why are you getting the frubals and great, interesting comments.

Second, coronavirus is a real pain for us all, but in time (who knows how much time) it will pass, things will be different for sure but life will continue.

Third, you are too sensitive to criticism and whoever accused you has no fecking idea what they are talking about. Evil? You? Take no notice of the ignorant hate merchant.

Fourth, if you are not enjoying speaking about what you love then have a rest, concentrate on your art for a while, or something else you enjoy, it will come back

Thank you Christine, Yes I am a sensitive soul and maybe too much, to be honest.

 

[Rational Agnostic]

Lately, the Amanaki that I used to be has become blurred, Feels like the Amanaki that I used to be, do not exist anymore. and to be honest, I am confused, everything in my life has crumbled and fallen away, and I am now a person without any understanding of who I am supposed to be, or what I can or can not say anymore.

Right now I am on the lowest of my life, I do not own any physical objects, I lost the love of my life when she asked that we no longer were engaged. but we are still friends so I do not blame her for my confusion. Our life just becomes very complicated and not much love was given either way in the end.

This forum used to be (maybe it still is) a good place to be a member, I felt I was giving something to others. but lately, I have had no inspiration and no energy to give.
And then the coronavirus arrived and made it more or less impossible to go out, been stuck in the apartment for more than a month now. And it does not seem to be any better in the near future.

And lastly, the spiritual part of me got a kick in the nuts today when in one of the posts I was accused of being a lost soul who are an evil person. That made it extra difficult to see any form of happiness.

For crying out loud, I use to be a happy person who loved speaking to others about spiritual topics. I honestly don't anymore.

Sorry for my rant. Did not mean to spoil other people's day.

I'm really sorry you're going through all this. I'm also going through a rough patch, but I've found techniques that help me quite a bit.

I recommend researching Sam Harris' practical meditation techniques on dealing with negative emotions. They have actually helped me a lot. They don't involve any set of beliefs: just the action of being aware of one's own mind. I really recommend them, even though it may seem that they will not work, with practice, they are very effective.

Here is a good one to start with.

Note:technique starts at 4:40

 

[Spirit of Light]

I'm really sorry you're going through all this. I'm also going through a rough patch, but I've found techniques that help me quite a bit.

I recommend researching Sam Harris' practical meditation techniques on dealing with negative emotions. They have actually helped me a lot. They don't involve any set of beliefs: just the action of being aware of one's own mind. I really recommend them, even though it may seem that they will not work, with practice, they are very effective.

Here is a good one to start with.

Thank you @Hubert Farnsworth I wish i could still meditate, but honestly i struggle even with the meditation, but i will look at the video you added

 

[Rational Agnostic]

Thank you @Hubert Farnsworth I wish i could still meditate, but honestly i struggle even with the meditation, but i will look at the video you added

I hope it helps, at least a little. The technique starts at 4:40 in the video. It's a unique approach to meditation that I think anyone can do.

 

[Spirit of Light]

I hope it helps, at least a little. The technique starts at 4:40 in the video. It's a unique approach to meditation that I think anyone can do.

I am listening to it now, and it make a lot of sense to me

 

[Rational Agnostic]

I am listening to it now, and it make a lot of sense to me

Glad it makes sense!

 

[Spirit of Light]

Glad it makes sense!

Again thank you for your word of wisdom and the video i will listen to it again before i sleep tonight
And a note to @ChristineM I have taken the drawing book and pencil and now drawing

 

[sun rise]

And lastly, the spiritual part of me got a kick in the nuts today when in one of the posts I was accused of being a lost soul who are an evil person. That made it extra difficult to see any form of happiness.

We're all a bit lost from time to time. But someone who accuses someone of being evil has crossed the line both from a personal perspective and from an RF/rules perspective. Posts like that should be reported.

Thank you Christine, Yes I am a sensitive soul and maybe too much, to be honest.

Most people I know have sensitive areas. I know my wife and I went through a patch of "you're pushing my buttons" when weak points came up. So this sounds very human to me.

I wish i could still meditate, but honestly i struggle even with the meditation,

I also struggle with meditation. My "monkey mind" is so active I have trouble settling down.

 

[Spirit of Light]

We're all a bit lost from time to time. But someone who accuses someone of being evil has crossed the line both from a personal perspective and from an RF/rules perspective. Posts like that should be reported.



Most people I know have sensitive areas. I know my wife and I went through a patch of "you're pushing my buttons" when weak points came up. So this sounds very human to me.


I also struggle with meditation. My "monkey mind" is so active I have trouble settling down.

My monkey mind feels like it is on drugs that make it hyper right now Can't settle down at all, not even for 2 minutes.

 

[SalixIncendium]

And lastly, the spiritual part of me got a kick in the nuts today when in one of the posts I was accused of being a lost soul who are an evil person. That made it extra difficult to see any form of happiness.

Are you an lost soul and evil person?

What others say to you is because of them, not because of you. People tend to point out flaws in others that they see in themselves.

Someone else's truth can only become your truth if you allow it to.

Don't take anything personally (one of the Four Agreements in Toltec philosophy).

 

[leov]

Lately, the Amanaki that I used to be has become blurred, Feels like the Amanaki that I used to be, do not exist anymore. and to be honest, I am confused, everything in my life has crumbled and fallen away, and I am now a person without any understanding of who I am supposed to be, or what I can or can not say anymore.

Right now I am on the lowest of my life, I do not own any physical objects, I lost the love of my life when she asked that we no longer were engaged. but we are still friends so I do not blame her for my confusion. Our life just becomes very complicated and not much love was given either way in the end.

This forum used to be (maybe it still is) a good place to be a member, I felt I was giving something to others. but lately, I have had no inspiration and no energy to give.
And then the coronavirus arrived and made it more or less impossible to go out, been stuck in the apartment for more than a month now. And it does not seem to be any better in the near future.

And lastly, the spiritual part of me got a kick in the nuts today when in one of the posts I was accused of being a lost soul who are an evil person. That made it extra difficult to see any form of happiness.

For crying out loud, I use to be a happy person who loved speaking to others about spiritual topics. I honestly don't anymore.

Sorry for my rant. Did not mean to spoil other people's day.

A spiritual vampire took over your life, it feeds of your negative emotions.
Tell that parasite that you are not available for his consumption, meditate it away, see sun and sea and tell it that you know it and would not surrender.

 

[Spirit of Light]

@ChristineM Because if your words about that i would feel better if i did a drawing.
Here is the result of your words, so if you like the drawing, it is yours. I will make it more detailed but this is the result so far

 

[PureX]

Lately, the Amanaki that I used to be has become blurred, Feels like the Amanaki that I used to be, do not exist anymore. and to be honest, I am confused, everything in my life has crumbled and fallen away, and I am now a person without any understanding of who I am supposed to be, or what I can or can not say anymore.

Right now I am on the lowest of my life, I do not own any physical objects, I lost the love of my life when she asked that we no longer were engaged. but we are still friends so I do not blame her for my confusion. Our life just becomes very complicated and not much love was given either way in the end.

This forum used to be (maybe it still is) a good place to be a member, I felt I was giving something to others. but lately, I have had no inspiration and no energy to give.
And then the coronavirus arrived and made it more or less impossible to go out, been stuck in the apartment for more than a month now. And it does not seem to be any better in the near future.

And lastly, the spiritual part of me got a kick in the nuts today when in one of the posts I was accused of being a lost soul who are an evil person. That made it extra difficult to see any form of happiness.

For crying out loud, I use to be a happy person who loved speaking to others about spiritual topics. I honestly don't anymore.

Sorry for my rant. Did not mean to spoil other people's day.

I would say try and focus on the little things: the details of life. Set a routine for the isolation. Get up at a specific time each say. Make your bed, wash, shave, get dressed, eat something, just as if you were going to work. Then take care of some household chores. Go for a walk if you can. Or maybe exercise inside. Plan you meals. Make your meals. Clean up after your meals. Read, watch TV, relax and repeat. The regimen will provide continuity and purpose. The order eases stress because you know what to do, next.

There are times in life when we have to stick to the basics, just to get through. Things will get better eventually. The one thing you can count on when you're down, is change.

 

[Spirit of Light]

I would say try and focus on the little things: the details of life. Set a routine for the isolation. Get up at a specific time each say. Make your bed, wash, shave, get dressed, eat something, just as if you were going to work. Then take care of some household chores. Go for a walk if you can. Or maybe exercise inside. Plan you meals. Make your meals. Clean up after your meals. Read, watch TV, relax and repeat. The regimen will provide continuity and purpose. The order eases stress because you know what to do, next.

There are times in life when we have to stick to the basics, just to get through. Things will get better eventually. The one thing you can count on when you're down, is change.

Wise words Thank you @PureX

 

[PureX]

Wise words Thank you @PureX

I'm kind of going through it, too. I'm older, out of work, and live alone.

 

[ChristineM]

@ChristineM Because if your words about that i would feel better if i did a drawing.
Here is the result of your words, so if you like the drawing, it is yours. I will make it more detailed but this is the result so far

Yes, i like.
I have a friend, a watercolourist who sometimes uses a similar style