Informing my husband of my change in religious stance

[Awoon]

Sit down and discuss what your Christian religion is about. Is it the religion About Jesus. In other words is the church constantly praising and worshiping Jesus trying to get new members, instead of demonstrating his religion? Or is the demonstration the religion Of Jesus which is practicing healing, visiting the sick, clothing the naked, feeding the hungry. Is it doing those activities without proselyting to get more members or because they practice the religion Jesus taught.

 

[Nada]

.. then, he will think of other things.

p.s. - Did he?

Thinking about it now,I see what you mean.
We do it in my house all the time, but it is to unwind,discuss and have fun.

 

[Sand Dancer]

I told him that I want to go to a UU church that I attend several times a year, as well as a Unity Church and a Quaker meeting. I guess our son will go with him to the church we have been attending, although he protests.

 

[paarsurrey]

Don't make a big deal out of it. let it come up in casual conversation rather than bring it up expecting confrontation. Often people will take the importance of what we are disclosing from our cues rather than the message itself and will react differently. Relax and what will be will be. take it easy and at your own pace; it is best to be true to yourself.

I think it is a good piece of advice.

Regards

 

[Kathryn]

Actually, I dropped the bombshells today and he took them better than I thought he would. He actually was concerned that I would try to hide something important because I was worried about his response.

Well, sounds like he has the Christian concept of grace down pretty well! I am glad that things wen't well and that he cares about your feelings and that both of you apparently put a lot of well deserved importance on honesty within the relationship. How do you both plan on accommodating each others' differing belief systems?

 

[metis]

I went through this process starting a bit over 20 years ago as I left Christianity and converted to Judaism. In my case the process took 3 & 1/2 years, and she knew it was not some sort of knee-jerk or emotional decision. It has worked out quite well for us as we do double-duty, although not always on the same weekend.

What I did tell her that helped is that I would still go to church with her and that it was optional for her if she wanted to go with my to synagogue.

 

[dust1n]

I told him that I want to go to a UU church that I attend several times a year, as well as a Unity Church and a Quaker meeting. I guess our son will go with him to the church we have been attending, although he protests.

Glad it all worked out. I was getting all nervous reading through the thread.

My only addition is be sure not to let stuff like religious differences from this point become like a focal point of contention. As others have said, especially Red_Eco, generally everyone is paying attention to how you deliver the news more so than the actual news, and that's generally because the manner and phrasing in which we say something is generally more indicative of our intentions.

How old's the kid?

 

[Revoltingest]

Actually, I dropped the bombshells today and he took them better than I thought he would. He actually was concerned that I would try to hide something important because I was worried about his response.

Tis always wonderful when something one dreads plays out easily.
Dentistry usually affects me that way.

 

[Willamena]

Jesus was a Republican?

 

[Aupmanyav]

Actually, I dropped the bombshells today and he took them better than I thought he would. He actually was concerned that I would try to hide something important because I was worried about his response.

Thirza, I am happy about how it played out for you.

 

[Revoltingest]

Jesus was a Republican?

I think he was in the Tea Party wing.

 

[Sand Dancer]

Well, sounds like he has the Christian concept of grace down pretty well! I am glad that things wen't well and that he cares about your feelings and that both of you apparently put a lot of well deserved importance on honesty within the relationship. How do you both plan on accommodating each others' differing belief systems?

I guess I will go where I want and he will go where he wants. I told him it would be a change, which he hates, but many people make the best of it, so we can too.

 

[Sand Dancer]

Jesus was a Republican?

Well, I don't think that, but I guess many do. Not sure what my husband thinks.

 

[Sand Dancer]

Well, I thought it was settled, but now that tomorrow is Sunday, he's mad and says he's not going to church unless I do too.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Well, I thought it was settled, but now that tomorrow is Sunday, he's mad and says he's not going to church unless I do too.

That's unfortunate. Had you always gone with him before?

Is it him disagreeing with you decision or peripheral stuff (e.g. a changing routine, having to answer questions at church about your absence)?

 

[Brickjectivity]

Well, I thought it was settled, but now that tomorrow is Sunday, he's mad and says he's not going to church unless I do too.

So he's staying home angry? That is going to make for an awkward morning. His anger will cause you to feel guilt, but don't express guilt. Express that this is a matter of conscience for you and you'd feel guilt about going. That is what you have told us after all.

Maybe there is something you can do together that wouldn't make either of you feel guilty? Perhaps you could read Proverbs or do silent prayers or something like that.

 

[Nada]

Well, I thought it was settled, but now that tomorrow is Sunday, he's mad and says he's not going to church unless I do too.

Let him pout.He just wants his way.

 

[Sand Dancer]

That's unfortunate. Had you always gone with him before?

Is it him disagreeing with you decision or peripheral stuff (e.g. a changing routine, having to answer questions at church about your absence)?

Yes, he doesn't want to answer the questions. It would be hard. Also I guess he thought I was just searching for another Christian denom, but I am going a different route. Not that I don't like Christianity anymore, I just wish it would evolve.

 

[Sand Dancer]

So he's staying home angry? That is going to make for an awkward morning. His anger will cause you to feel guilt, but don't express guilt. Express that this is a matter of conscience for you and you'd feel guilt about going. That is what you have told us after all.

Maybe there is something you can do together that wouldn't make either of you feel guilty? Perhaps you could read Proverbs or do silent prayers or something like that.

I can't worship in a place where my heart is not just because he is having a hard time. I won't go backward in my spiritual walk. Good ideas, thank for those!

 

[Awoon]

Well, I thought it was settled, but now that tomorrow is Sunday, he's mad and says he's not going to church unless I do too.

You want to change your religious stance and now your husband wont go to (religion) I mean church unless you do too?

There's your problem. Find out what religion is and what church is and your problem to change will be solved.

IMO, I don't know any religion that needs any building to support it. But if it does, then the church (building) has become the religion.