Interview with a psychopath

[Nietzsche]

"an incident" Really? What was the incident???????

I am a cripple. I started getting health problems(physical ones) about when I was 12-13 or so. Scoliosis, lymes disease, bone deterioration, on and on, and because of the incredible pain it causes in my right leg when I put weight on it, I've had to get around with a cane since I was 13.

That is not relevant persay to to what happened, just some back story to explain why I had one.

I was picked on at school, verbally, because from a young age I've been rather feminine. Long hair, long nails, a soft voice & mannerisms that one normally associates with the other sex, and despite normally being the tallest in my age-group those who didn't like me kept on with it. One day I there were two or three of them, and told them to stop and that if I didn't, I'd break one of their knees. They thought it was an empty threat, and continued to harass me, one of them pushing me over. When I got up, I delivered.

The cane I had at the time had a solid steel head, and when it hit the guy he collapsed because it swept his leg out from under him. Not broken yet though. So I hit him again, this time hearing a satisfying crush & pop, and then stepping on his knee to hear him scream.

 

[jeager106]

I am a cripple. I started getting health problems(physical ones) about when I was 12-13 or so. Scoliosis, lymes disease, bone deterioration, on and on, and because of the incredible pain it causes in my right leg when I put weight on it, I've had to get around with a cane since I was 13.

That is not relevant persay to to what happened, just some back story to explain why I had one.

I was picked on at school, verbally, because from a young age I've been rather feminine. Long hair, long nails, a soft voice & mannerisms that one normally associates with the other sex, and despite normally being the tallest in my age-group those who didn't like me kept on with it. One day I there were two or three of them, and told them to stop and that if I didn't, I'd break one of their knees. They thought it was an empty threat, and continued to harass me, one of them pushing me over. When I got up, I delivered.

The cane I had at the time had a solid steel head, and when it hit the guy he collapsed because it swept his leg out from under him. Not broken yet though. So I hit him again, this time hearing a satisfying crush & pop, and then stepping on his knee to hear him scream.

Yeah? Well, honestly I can relate perfectly.
Listen: I've been crippled for a long time due to what people did to me.
Now I'm a gentile soul how means harm to no one.
Still, I'm crippled from the actions of nasty people. I won't be abused again.
I appreiate how you feel.

 

[Nietzsche]

Yeah? Well, honestly I can relate perfectly.
Listen: I've been crippled for a long time due to what people did to me.
Now I'm a gentile soul how means harm to no one.
Still, I'm crippled from the actions of nasty people. I won't be abused again.
I appreiate how you feel.

It crossed the line from self-defense to sadism(one of my hobbies) when I stood on his broken knee until they took me off him.

 

[mainliner]

This is a serious question ( take it as you may ) but have you looked into medical cannabis ?

there's a big thing in America for people with your problems and they have medical cannabis forums with 1000's of people in the same situation as you ..... If not worse

you could at least talk to some one , my dad tryed it for his osteoarthritis but it didn't work so he just sticks to his tablets and no harm done .......... Its worth a try

 

[jeager106]

It crossed the line from self-defense to sadism(one of my hobbies) when I stood on his broken knee until they took me off him.

Still I can relate. Not that I'd do that, but I'm not 13 either.
All that pent up anger? I can relate!
I think you are more normal that other's have thought.

 

[Nietzsche]

This is a serious question ( take it as you may ) but have you looked into medical cannabis ?

there's a big thing in America for people with your problems and they have medical cannabis forums with 1000's of people in the same situation as you ..... If not worse

you could at least talk to some one , my dad tryed it for his osteoarthritis but it didn't work so he just sticks to his tablets and no harm done .......... Its worth a try

I've tried marijuana, but I prefer opiates.

Still I can relate. Not that I'd do that, but I'm not 13 either.
All that pent up anger? I can relate!
I think you are more normal that other's have thought.

Eh, like I said. Borderline case. I'd do it again given the opportunity.

 

[mainliner]

I don't understand what your confusion is ?

 

[Nietzsche]

I don't understand what your confusion is ?

Pain. Opiates work better than marijuana. Marijuana didn't do anything about my empathy either.

 

[mainliner]

Pain. Opiates work better than marijuana. Marijuana didn't do anything about my empathy either.

i wish i could help ....... What is your favourite food because sometimes different foods can make you happy

 

[Nietzsche]

i wish i could help ....... What is your favourite food because sometimes different foods can make you happy

Mmm, steak and cooking in general. But it isn't a 'happiness' problem. It's a pain problem. Opiates take the edge off enough to make me want to live.

 

[mainliner]

Mmm, steak and cooking in general. But it isn't a 'happiness' problem. It's a pain problem. Opiates take the edge off enough to make me want to live.

so what are you saying ?

 

[Nietzsche]

so what are you saying ?

To be frank I don't even know what you're asking.

 

[mainliner]

To be frank I don't even know what you're asking.

its not me what's asking ..... Its seems to be you what's telling .

what do you need ?

 

[illykitty]

Do you ever wonder what it's like to be fully empathic?

I wonder about lacking it, out of curiosity. I can't imagine what it's like, since I'm highly sensitive, so is this the same for you or do you not care to know?

Do you enjoy it? Or do you think it can be a problem? Would you rather not take medication?

 

[Nietzsche]

Do you ever wonder what it's like to be fully empathic?

Often.

I wonder about lacking it, out of curiosity. I can't imagine what it's like, since I'm highly sensitive, so is this the same for you or do you not care to know?

I can dip my toes into empathy, sort of. I like the rush it can bring, and it really helps accentuate the more selfish feelings I enjoy.

Do you enjoy it? Or do you think it can be a problem? Would you rather not take medication?

Empathy is good for society. For people like me to exist, there must be society. I would not want a world where people like me are even 10% of the population. We're parasites, in a way. The closest you'll get to real vampires.

As for the medication, I have to take it. It doesn't hinder me, and like I said, it brings flavour to the other things I feel when I'm on it.

 

[illykitty]

Thank you for answering my questions, it was really interesting.

 

[DreadFish]

To be honest that's a lot like asking a fish to explain what "wet" is like.

Ok, let me try to rephrase. Do you have a general idea of how much average people feel empathy? Are you aware of situations where you do not feel empathy when an average person would?

 

[Nietzsche]

Ok, let me try to rephrase. Do you have a general idea of how much average people feel empathy?

I do not, actually. There is so much variation between two people or two groups that is is hard to tell what "normal" really is.

Are you aware of situations where you do not feel empathy when an average person would?

Well, yes actually. Here's something I enjoy doing; taking people "off the wagon". Drug abuse, alcohol abuse, don't care. I like watching people crawl back into their hole. It isn't even that I don't feel empathy. I get off on that and stuff like it.

 

[Spiderman]

Im very glad I found this thread.

Did you torture animals as a child?

 

[Spiderman]

I am a cripple. I started getting health problems(physical ones) about when I was 12-13 or so. Scoliosis, lymes disease, bone deterioration, on and on, and because of the incredible pain it causes in my right leg when I put weight on it, I've had to get around with a cane since I was 13.

That is not relevant persay to to what happened, just some back story to explain why I had one.

I was picked on at school, verbally, because from a young age I've been rather feminine. Long hair, long nails, a soft voice & mannerisms that one normally associates with the other sex, and despite normally being the tallest in my age-group those who didn't like me kept on with it. One day I there were two or three of them, and told them to stop and that if I didn't, I'd break one of their knees. They thought it was an empty threat, and continued to harass me, one of them pushing me over. When I got up, I delivered.

The cane I had at the time had a solid steel head, and when it hit the guy he collapsed because it swept his leg out from under him. Not broken yet though. So I hit him again, this time hearing a satisfying crush & pop, and then stepping on his knee to hear him scream.

So what was the injury this person received from the crush & pop.

Yeah being feminine and having a soft voice will get you to be the butt of jokes and pranks. Im really sad to hear this.

((Hugs))