Is anyone a closet LHP practitioner?

[Skorzeny]

I've recently come out to my family, since it's bothered me that I kept silent over a large part of my teenage years and almost broke my relationship with the other of my parents because of the mental pressure I ended up having.

Do your parents identify as Christians (or any major world religion)? If so, how'd you pull that off?

 

[Infinitum]

Do your parents identify as Christians (or any major world religion)? If so, how'd you pull that off?

They're Christian. Speaking with them about religion is a fine line between complete disconnect and something that at least resembles empathy. However my mother didn't want to take my siblings in to the house when I happened to have some ritual equipment out in the open. As it is right now they cognitively know who I am, but don't seem to accept it on an emotional level. It's better than me having to lie about who I am, though.

 

[Knowledge Gourmet]

I'm just a confused young man.

I think everyone probably knows that, lol.

 

[1137]

I'm just a confused young man.

I think everyone probably knows that, lol.

Define young.

 

[Knowledge Gourmet]

Define young.

I'm 27. Not sure if I'm really all that young anymore.

I just feel like my knowledge is likely dwarfed in comparison to those who have been at this longer than I've even been alive.

 

[1137]

I'm 27. Not sure if I'm really all that young anymore.

I just feel like my knowledge is likely dwarfed in comparison to those who have been at this longer than I've even been alive.

Eh age is pretty irrelevant. What's more important is commitment, intelligence, individuality, ability to take what you want and mold it how you want it. It's not about getting into orders or getting your hands on occult knowledge, those are just someone else's system, inspiration and nothing more.

 

[Knowledge Gourmet]

Eh age is pretty irrelevant. What's more important is commitment, intelligence, individuality, ability to take what you want and mold it how you want it. It's not about getting into orders or getting your hands on occult knowledge, those are just someone else's system, inspiration and nothing more.

Eh, I always have this nebulous sense that the real/effective occult knowledge must be hidden.

You hear things about how high ranking government officials, billionaires, top military brass, etc are all in secret occult organizations. They have all the money and power. I've always had this sense that they must know something I don't.

 

[1137]

Eh, I always have this nebulous sense that the real/effective occult knowledge must be hidden.

You hear things about how high ranking government officials, billionaires, top military brass, etc are all in secret occult organizations. They have all the money and power. I've always had this sense that they must know something I don't.

I know a lot of people who think that. But that's not how it works. Just because someone has money or power doesn't change anything. Hell, most of these people were born into it, they didn't earn it.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I am open about my beliefs, generally. I wear my "inverted" Pentagram and Sigil of Baphomet pendents openly as well as some shirts I got from Michael W. Ford's site. I live with my mom and she is a Christian but she doesn't really bother me about religion, although we have bickered a bit about it because we both have strong opinions. I know she would like me to come to church with her but she is learning to respect that I'm an adult now and she needs to let me choose my own way. She's not a very strident Christian, anyway. She believes in God, Jesus and Mary but has a statue of Isis in her room, too.

 

[1137]

I miss my pentagram, I hate big, in your face jewlery though so I stopped wearing it. Found one on Amazon, 2cm in diameter, will probably order soon.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I miss my pentagram, I hate big, in your face jewlery though so I stopped wearing it. Found one on Amazon, 2cm in diameter, will probably order soon.

This is the one I have: Large Inverted Pentagram .925 Silver Pendant Rare! - AeraVida

It's not huge, nor is it small. It's just right. And it's beautiful! I love it!

As for my Sigil of the Baphomet pendents, I get those from Satan Central because they have the largest selection of sizes and colors and are well-made.
SATAN CENTRAL

 

[1137]

I like lesser craftsmanship actually, where it doesn't look perfect. The one I'm getting also has the points extending beyond the circle. Currently I've been wearing a unicursal hexagram.

 

[ScottySatan]

I miss my pentagram, I hate big, in your face jewlery though so I stopped wearing it. Found one on Amazon, 2cm in diameter, will probably order soon.

I wear something like that when I go out with Satanists, dressed sharply with a little lapel pin. I like the message that sends better.

2cm is from the metric system. What are you, some kind of god damned hippy?

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I like lesser craftsmanship actually, where it doesn't look perfect. The one I'm getting also has the points extending beyond the circle. Currently I've been wearing a unicursal hexagram.

I see. I prefer exact images, I suppose you could say. I also have the Samael/Lilith Pentagram from Ford's site and a Sigil of Lucifer pendent.

 

[1137]

I wear something like that when I go out with Satanists, dressed sharply with a little lapel pin. I like the message that sends better.

2cm is from the metric system. What are you, some kind of god damned hippy?

Yeah big pendants to me tend to scream teen with issues. Ironically I wore mine in that exact context...

I see. I prefer exact images, I suppose you could say. I also have the Samael/Lilith Pentagram from Ford's site and a Sigil of Lucifer pendent.

I have a Sigil of Lucifer pendent, again too big though. It's on my altar now.

 

[desideraht]

My mother is very outspoken about opposing Satanism, although not necessarily for the typical, Abrahamic-faith reasoning. She is a New Ager, a self-proclaimed "Lightworker", and a member of that religious hipster crowd—though to be fair, she is from the original hippie generation, and has been into New Age concepts for a majority of her lifetime. However, nonetheless, she is a member of that crowd, where white people adopt Eastern traditions and try to mesh all religions into One. Except Satanism. Satanists in their minds are the living representation of the opposition to their movement of Light. But alas, to her I have tried to explain that for Light, there must be Darkness. For joy, there must be sorrow. She agrees on this, but she does not feel humans need acknowledge these forces in a spiritual manner—she believes they exist beyond our control and our efforts should be put into the positive motion, "spiraling upward" in some sort of Light-ridden ecstatic spiritual dance.

She told Me "demonic symbols" (aka sigils of Lucifer and other demons) are not to be in her home for if they are here, they will attract "negative energies". She has intentionally drawn (with her fingers) "positive sigils" in My room, to essentially cast a "Circle of Protection" (I believe this is some sort of modernised, suburbanite version of white magick, but I feel to truly cast a Circle one must actually call upon the Universal Forces to do so [not just simply through "intention" and "implied" invocation], as is done in many Neo-Pagan rituals). She also casts Reiki—a Japanese form of energetic healing—on our house regularly. I too am attuned in Reiki—I am a Level 1 practitioner. She feels that the "demonic" energies are in conflict with these positive, "Lighter" energies. I do not see how it is. For Me, Chaos and Order are one animal, like Baphomet. The God and the Goddess represent two energies, opposite yet not opposing. This is how I too feel about Lightness and Darkness. But My mother and I disagree on that so I do not think I have the heart to yet tell her I am identifying as a Satanist—primarily one of the LaVeyan variety. She has had some choice unkind words about LaVey, saying he was essentially a sideshow freak, which made My heart aflutter (it seemed to be more of a compliment in My eyes), for I too am such a freak. She did, however, concede that he was an incredibly intelligent and cunning man. I think it would take a lot of time and effort to get her to accept that I can be a Satanist and not a harbinger of unprecedented negativity. I do not feel Satanism calls for unnecessary negativity—it simply takes the negativity that exists in the world and makes good use of it.

We shall yet see. I may also eventually find that Satanism does not fully describe My feelings and views of the world. For a good while I was identifying as an atheistic Pagan but I too was closeted about that, for I feared others would constantly critique Me and tell Me why I am "not" a Pagan. I too have had this fear about Satanism which is part of why I came to this forum, to see if I could stand and hold ground in a group of other Satanists. Were I to be "outed" as something other than a Satanist, then I may learn some crucial things of My identity. However, joining this forum, reading, and expressing Myself has only further confirmed My Satanism, especially given that the philosophy is flexible in nature, and is simply based on some fairly specific principles which I agree to.

That all being said... My Satanism will be closeted for a white yet, but it is slipping through the cracks. Eventually they shall see how I am always absorbed in Satanic writings. Already people have noticed My Baphomet pendant and I have had several persons caution Me away from Satanism—I even had someone tell Me that The Satanic Bible is like "Baby's First Occult Book". I was a bit miffed by the comparison, and the implications as it was being attributed to Me and My interests, however, I did not let that dissuade My own feelings and interpretations about LaVey's writings, and in one's Path—be if the Left-Hand Path or otherwise—their own feelings and interpretations is all that matters when it comes to their personal journey, so long as it does not harm others.

However, sadly, many seem to believe that Me adhering to Satanism can somehow harm others, primarily through supernatural means. Being a rationalist, and not believing in the supernatural at all, I believe such fears to be a complete hodgepodge of rubbish. My mother has told Me that though I do not believe in the "negative forces" associated with Satanism, that they are very real and I am toying with unknown curses and horrors. My curiosity for the morbid leads Me further and I almost wish to invoke evil spirits just for the Hell of it—though I already know that nothing noteworthy is likely to happen. After all, while I have a deep appreciation for Occultism, I do not believe I will be summoning demons or opening the gates of Hell—for I already know Hell exists right here on Earth and the demons reside within every human being. These concepts invented by Man represent real-life phenomenon that we see everyday. I need not invoke that which is already very much alive.

 

[nash8]

My mother is very outspoken about opposing Satanism, although not necessarily for the typical, Abrahamic-faith reasoning. She is a New Ager, a self-proclaimed "Lightworker", and a member of that religious hipster crowd—though to be fair, she is from the original hippie generation, and has been into New Age concepts for a majority of her lifetime. However, nonetheless, she is a member of that crowd, where white people adopt Eastern traditions and try to mesh all religions into One. Except Satanism. Satanists in their minds are the living representation of the opposition to their movement of Light. But alas, to her I have tried to explain that for Light, there must be Darkness. For joy, there must be sorrow. She agrees on this, but she does not feel humans need acknowledge these forces in a spiritual manner—she believes they exist beyond our control and our efforts should be put into the positive motion, "spiraling upward" in some sort of Light-ridden ecstatic spiritual dance.

I am no doubt new-agey in my beliefs, but I don't buy into a lot of the stuff I see in the New-age today. However I do have an energy healing book that I'm reading right now, and it is super new-agey and claims that black is a transformative energy, and can be used to promote transformation of other energies for "good" or "bad" however you personally view those moral concepts.

Have you ever told your mom that Lucifer is actually a metaphor for "the light bringer".

She told Me "demonic symbols" (aka sigils of Lucifer and other demons) are not to be in her home for if they are here, they will attract "negative energies". She has intentionally drawn (with her fingers) "positive sigils" in My room, to essentially cast a "Circle of Protection" (I believe this is some sort of modernised, suburbanite version of white magick, but I feel to truly cast a Circle one must actually call upon the Universal Forces to do so [not just simply through "intention" and "implied" invocation], as is done in many Neo-Pagan rituals). She also casts Reiki—a Japanese form of energetic healing—on our house regularly. I too am attuned in Reiki—I am a Level 1 practitioner. She feels that the "demonic" energies are in conflict with these positive, "Lighter" energies. I do not see how it is. For Me, Chaos and Order are one animal, like Baphomet. The God and the Goddess represent two energies, opposite yet not opposing. This is how I too feel about Lightness and Darkness. But My mother and I disagree on that so I do not think I have the heart to yet tell her I am identifying as a Satanist—primarily one of the LaVeyan variety. She has had some choice unkind words about LaVey, saying he was essentially a sideshow freak, which made My heart aflutter (it seemed to be more of a compliment in My eyes), for I too am such a freak. She did, however, concede that he was an incredibly intelligent and cunning man. I think it would take a lot of time and effort to get her to accept that I can be a Satanist and not a harbinger of unprecedented negativity. I do not feel Satanism calls for unnecessary negativity—it simply takes the negativity that exists in the world and makes good use of it.

It seems you have a very open mind, why not embrace the light as well as the darkness. What's the fun in embracing one or the other in the extreme? I think you and your mom could learn a lot from each other personally.

We shall yet see. I may also eventually find that Satanism does not fully describe My feelings and views of the world. For a good while I was identifying as an atheistic Pagan but I too was closeted about that, for I feared others would constantly critique Me and tell Me why I am "not" a Pagan. I too have had this fear about Satanism which is part of why I came to this forum, to see if I could stand and hold ground in a group of other Satanists. Were I to be "outed" as something other than a Satanist, then I may learn some crucial things of My identity. However, joining this forum, reading, and expressing Myself has only further confirmed My Satanism, especially given that the philosophy is flexible in nature, and is simply based on some fairly specific principles which I agree to.

Lol, you gotta do you homie. I consider myself an adherent of just about every/religion philosophy that I know of. I've actually considered seeing how many religions that I could formally be a part of for the benefits you recieve. That in and of itself would be considered a Satanic tactic right?

That all being said... My Satanism will be closeted for a white yet, but it is slipping through the cracks. Eventually they shall see how I am always absorbed in Satanic writings. Already people have noticed My Baphomet pendant and I have had several persons caution Me away from Satanism—I even had someone tell Me that The Satanic Bible is like "Baby's First Occult Book". I was a bit miffed by the comparison, and the implications as it was being attributed to Me and My interests, however, I did not let that dissuade My own feelings and interpretations about LaVey's writings, and in one's Path—be if the Left-Hand Path or otherwise—their own feelings and interpretations is all that matters when it comes to their personal journey, so long as it does not harm others.

Indeed, no need to display something that goes against your well-being right?

However, sadly, many seem to believe that Me adhering to Satanism can somehow harm others, primarily through supernatural means. Being a rationalist, and not believing in the supernatural at all, I believe such fears to be a complete hodgepodge of rubbish. My mother has told Me that though I do not believe in the "negative forces" associated with Satanism, that they are very real and I am toying with unknown curses and horrors. My curiosity for the morbid leads Me further and I almost wish to invoke evil spirits just for the Hell of it—though I already know that nothing noteworthy is likely to happen. After all, while I have a deep appreciation for Occultism, I do not believe I will be summoning demons or opening the gates of Hell—for I already know Hell exists right here on Earth and the demons reside within every human being. These concepts invented by Man represent real-life phenomenon that we see everyday. I need not invoke that which is already very much alive.

Interesting perspective.

 

[desideraht]

I am no doubt new-agey in my beliefs, but I don't buy into a lot of the stuff I see in the New-age today. However I do have an energy healing book that I'm reading right now, and it is super new-agey and claims that black is a transformative energy, and can be used to promote transformation of other energies for "good" or "bad" however you personally view those moral concepts.

Have you ever told your mom that Lucifer is actually a metaphor for "the light bringer".

My mother is extraordinarily educated. She knows exactly who Lucifer is and what He represents. But the form of Satanism I partake in also includes Baphomet, Satan, and demons. They're almost like... anti-Goods. But the Light can only be brought if there is Darkness. I believe in a reverse Way of being. And that disturbs her, that I am contrary. I like Lucifer because He had Fallen. I relate to the Fallen Angel archetype. There are many reasons why I am drawn towards the Left-Hand Path.

It seems you have a very open mind, why not embrace the light as well as the darkness. What's the fun in embracing one or the other in the extreme? I think you and your mom could learn a lot from each other personally.

Because the Light does not interest me. The Darkeness calls me. And I do accept Light, as it is necessary. Lightness and Darkness are both necessary. But I am of the Legion of Darkenss. Of Death, of the End, of the Tomb, of Sorrow and of Wrath. I live in Sin, and I love Sin. I gain gratification from all of that which is Sin. It is not about "fun"... this is a very serious, Dark matter. Tremendous pain and anguish brought Me to this place, where I trust none other than the influence of Hell (which in My perspective, is but a representation of sensations and a mindset which we experience).

Lol, you gotta do you homie. I consider myself an adherent of just about every/religion philosophy that I know of. I've actually considered seeing how many religions that I could formally be a part of for the benefits you recieve. That in and of itself would be considered a Satanic tactic right?

No. Satanism rejects a great deal of religions very specifically, for very specific (and valid) reasons. If you are hopping around other Faiths, especially if they hold conflicting ideals and interests, you are not a Satanist. There are not many religions like Satanism. Most of them reject Satanism's Hedonistic, Self-worshiping Way. If you worship anything other than the Self, then you are not a Satanist. You can, however, be one of the Left-Hand Path. But it isn't a "club" you join. The way you speak of it feels like a mockery. It is a serious Path, it is the Way.

Indeed, no need to display something that goes against your well-being right?

Indeed it is the but contrary—when I liberate and open Myself it will lead to My betterment. For the time being, however, I know I do not have the strength to face the fallout.

Interesting perspective.

Life is interesting. Man is interesting.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

For the most part, no one knows. The most that most people ever know are my very strong agnostic views, I find religion to be unimportant, and my refusal to acknowledge the existence of some "all loving, merciful, and forgiving" "god that looks like a man" who will send someone to Hell forever just for not accepting and believing in a world that is over-abundant with reasons to doubt.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

If you worship anything other than the Self, then you are not a Satanist.

Not true. Satanism isn't something you can dogmatically pin down. It's an umbrella term for a vast array of beliefs and practices.