Is homophobia natural for the heterosexual male?

[bobhikes]

Had a unique reaction that leads me to believe Homophobia in males may be as natural as a homosexual.

This morning after getting up needed milk for the kids. Got my first cup of coffee and left for the store. I am not my best until after breakfast. In the store I came upon two men wrapped in arms staring face to face. I actually felt ill and became mad.

This is unusual for me though I freely admit I do not like sexual displays in public, I do not normally get ill or mad. I would have to admit that I was not at my best of the day meaning my mind was not functioning up to par. Was this a heterosexual male natural reaction.

Thinking on it after breakfast and my second cup of coffee, I believe it is. I also believe if it was a man and woman I would not have had any reaction. Very much surprising to me.

 

[Troublemane]

It might not have been a common thing to see, and so brought up some antagonistic feelings. I wonder if it was something you saw more often, do you think it would make you feel negatively?

 

[Revoltingest]

Is it permissible to find it gross, without it rising to the level of a psychiatric phobia?
I hate the flavor of mint, but no one would call me mintaphobic. If enjoy the company of
many gay folk, but find some practices icky, it's ridiculous to label that as an irrational fear.

 

[ChrisP]

It is quite easy to fear what you don't understand. In this respect I believe it to be natural for a hetersexual male to fear homosexuality. I used to be like this when I was in my teens but once I'd met a few gay or lesbian folk and come to a base understanding of where they were coming from it vanished. Like poster #3 that doesn't stop me finding some practices icky.

 

[bobhikes]

It may not be all heterosexual males but a portion. I justify it in my mind by being against public displays of sexuality. Not all heterosexual males have problems with sexual displays in public.

I do believe that the mind can override natural tendencies.

 

[bobhikes]

It is quite easy to fear what you don't understand. In this respect I believe it to be natural for a hetersexual male to fear homosexuality. I used to be like this when I was in my teens but once I'd met a few gay or lesbian folk and come to a base understanding of where they were coming from it vanished. Like poster #3 that doesn't stop me finding some practices icky.

This was abnormal. I have had homosexual friends and generally do not feel this strongly when I see it in public. But I have always been more prudish.

 

[ChrisP]

Abnormal in what good sir?

 

[Madhuri]

Humans, like many animals, seem to naturally have aversion to things that are unusual or different.

 

[bobhikes]

Abnormal in what good sir?

This was abnormal in my reaction.

Still thinking about it as my responce shocked me. How I got my homosexual acceptance. In our group of friends around 8th grade we had a friend that came out with a boyfriend. This was before I was sexually active being a late bloomer. I definately did not like the way he was being treated and did not abandon him has a friend. This I believe has lead to my acceptance of homosexuality although I have resegnations which may or may not have come later. I do remember limiting my access to him as I got older. I wonder now if this started to happen as I became sexually active.

 

[Smoke]

Had a unique reaction that leads me to believe Homophobia in males may be as natural as a homosexual.

This morning after getting up needed milk for the kids. Got my first cup of coffee and left for the store. I am not my best until after breakfast. In the store I came upon two men wrapped in arms staring face to face. I actually felt ill and became mad.

This is unusual for me though I freely admit I do not like sexual displays in public, I do not normally get ill or mad. I would have to admit that I was not at my best of the day meaning my mind was not functioning up to par. Was this a heterosexual male natural reaction.

Thinking on it after breakfast and my second cup of coffee, I believe it is. I also believe if it was a man and woman I would not have had any reaction. Very much surprising to me.

Homophobia appears to come naturally to you. However, while you can't change your sexual orientation, it is possible to change your attitude.

 

[KatNotKathy]

You were grossed out because society taught you to be grossed out. As unfortunate as it is, it probably isn't your fault really.

I'd still look into that and figure out exactly why you're such a homophobe.

 

[Draka]

It might have something to do with certain gender roles we are all "taught" as we are growing up. Not really the whole "girls have these jobs and boys have these jobs" kind of thing, but how we are expected to handle emotions and relationships. Girls are expected to be more emotional and it is fine for them to show a "weaker" side and men are to be the "stronger" less emotional ones. Seeing two men together seems to internally offend the very idea of "roles" to the heterosexual man. It confuses them. Two men together indicates that at least one or both of them may be "weaker" or more emotional and that makes them "girly" or not as "manly". Since these attributes are acceptable for women less women have an issue with two men together than men do. If more men were "taught" that it's perfectly fine to be emotional or "weaker" (in that it's ok to lean on someone else and not be a pillar of strength at all times) then perhaps the sight or thought of two men together wouldn't cause such reactions.

That's just one idea though. One possible thing that might attribute to those "feelings". I could be wrong though.

 

[Storm]

First of all, I applaud your honesty and willingness to confront this. Frubals.

However, my answer to your question is no. Homophobia is no more natural than racism. It was drilled into you by a deeply homophobic society.

 

[KatNotKathy]

First of all, I applaud your honesty and willingness to confront this.

Yeah this too. I mean, yeah, it's unfortunate, but you realized that feeling that way wasn't a great thing so at least you're ahead of most homophobes I've come across.

 

[RomCat]

Do not feel guilty because you witnessed two
men acting in an immoral, unatural and abberant
way and felt repulsed.
If you said you were not repulsed by it then you
would have much to worry about concerning your-
self.

 

[John D]

This was abnormal in my reaction.

Still thinking about it as my responce shocked me. How I got my homosexual acceptance. In our group of friends around 8th grade we had a friend that came out with a boyfriend. This was before I was sexually active being a late bloomer. I definately did not like the way he was being treated and did not abandon him has a friend. This I believe has lead to my acceptance of homosexuality although I have resegnations which may or may not have come later. I do remember limiting my access to him as I got older. I wonder now if this started to happen as I became sexually active.

Nothing wrong with your reaction. It is normal for all Hetero males. We are being brainwashed to feel guilty about any reaction that don't accommodate human freedom.
It will always be immoral to me and against my valuesystem. And frankly I could care less what people think of my reaction to these people. I choose to cut them out of my life as far as possible - I don't associate with them, I don't buy at there shops. I don't talk to them at all.
People do this everyday of their lives - associate wth people they want and ignore all others.

 

[Revoltingest]

First of all, I applaud your honesty and willingness to confront this. Frubals.

However, my answer to your question is no. Homophobia is no more natural than racism. It was drilled into you by a deeply homophobic society.

Boy, I hate to say it, but I think racism & xenophobia in general are quite natural. Given the extent to which they pervade dang near every
society/group, how can it not be part of the human condition? It seems functional from an evolutionary biological viewpoint, but now that
we have these great big chess-club sized brains, we may choose to override this tendency. Perhaps we should each have no shame for who
we are, including our baser instincts, but have shame only for handling them poorly.

But what do I know? I might be just trying to justify my knuckle walking tendencies.

 

[DallasApple]

Its obviously natural for you.I wouldnt want to assume why.I know some people that are repulsed and disgusted by the sights and sounds of a baby suckling on his mothers breast.

I dont know..But I agree with Storm.The fact that you are willing to talk about it and question where its coming from is a good thing.

I also thought Draka had some good thoughts..

Frubals..

Love

Dallas

 

[Caladan]

Had a unique reaction that leads me to believe Homophobia in males may be as natural as a homosexual.

This morning after getting up needed milk for the kids. Got my first cup of coffee and left for the store. I am not my best until after breakfast. In the store I came upon two men wrapped in arms staring face to face. I actually felt ill and became mad.

This is unusual for me though I freely admit I do not like sexual displays in public, I do not normally get ill or mad. I would have to admit that I was not at my best of the day meaning my mind was not functioning up to par. Was this a heterosexual male natural reaction.

Thinking on it after breakfast and my second cup of coffee, I believe it is. I also believe if it was a man and woman I would not have had any reaction. Very much surprising to me.

My experience is different. I've seen males in intimate situations, from simply holding hands in the street, to kissing each other in night clubs, the thought of being repulsed didnt really take hold of me, its two people showing effection or attraction, and they happen to be both males. its just another day. not a freak accident.

 

[DallasApple]

My experience is different. I've seen males in intimate situations, from simply holding hands in the street, to kissing each other in night clubs, the thought of being repulsed didnt really take hold of me, its two people showing effection or attraction, and they happen to be both males. its just another day. not a freak accident.

I wonder if its possible people (some) tend to put themselves in that scenerio and are repulsed and disgusted because it goes against their nature?

It seems to me that somehow its viewed as a threat.(even if its subconscious).

Love

Dallas