Is it okay I want to be with my father

[Sanzbir]

In counseling, they won't be allowed to. Everyone will have a chance to speak.

Not every therapist will be fair or just about negotiating the situation. Additionally, when one specific individual of the group (the parent) is the one paying for the service, well, if the parent wants a therapist who will side against the child they can get easily one.

The world isn't so idealized that councilors are religiously devoted to neutrality and are unswayed by money, and the law is applied equally and fairly between all parties. The real world is more gray than that, and most comments seem to be assuming that laws are fair, will be applied fairly, and that all councilors will be unbiased and neutral.

 

[DavidFirth]

Not every therapist will be fair or just about negotiating the situation. Additionally, when one specific individual of the group (the parent) is the one paying for the service, well, if the parent wants a therapist who will side against the child they can get easily one.

The world isn't so idealized that councilors are religiously devoted to neutrality and are unswayed by money, and the law is applied equally and fairly between all parties. The real world is more gray than that, and most comments seem to be assuming that laws are fair, will be applied fairly, and that all councilors will be unbiased and neutral.

So what is the solution to the girl's problem?

 

[Sanzbir]

Octogan: See if you can get in touch with your father. Maybe look into any Father's Rights groups in your area and try to get into contact with them.

Those are typically the only groups that are willing to help with legal fees and the fight against often biased child custody courts in situations like the one you describe, and are the organizations best equipped to help.

 

[Sanzbir]

So what is the solution to the girl's problem?

Either trying to access legal channels and the few groups willing to help fund the costly and expensive legal case to help the wishes of the child in a custody case like this...

Or simply dealing with the unfair legal situation should those other results fail. The sad reality is that the system as it exists is stacked against her, and this may not be something she wins.

But giving one parent control over group counseling seems like it will only lead to a one-sided situation due to the inherent power imbalance of the relationship.

 

[DavidFirth]

Either trying to access legal channels and the few groups willing to help fund the costly and expensive legal case to help the wishes of the child in a custody case like this...

Or simply dealing with the unfair legal situation should those other results fail. The sad reality is that the system as it exists is stacked against her, and this may not be something she wins.

But giving one parent control over group counseling seems like it will only lead to a one-sided situation due to the inherent power imbalance of the relationship.

You covered it in your post above. I had posted my question before you made that post. Good answer.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

You appear to be WOEFULLY ignorant on how child custody law works in the US. So maybe you should be quiet about the subject and stop berating this young girl!!

Fine, whatever, you know it all, more than people who have known so many people who have gone through with it. Yes, the primary caretaker often has primary custody, but it's a joint custody.

 

[Rational Agnostic]

My mother came out last year and said she'd been having an affair. She got full custody even though she knows I want to stay with my father and that I think it's a sin. She wont let me got bible study anymore because of it. I also don't like her girlfriend. She gets really aggressive when I oppose her beliefs.

I just want to be with my father. He's always been there more, even when I had my period.

That's a difficult scenario; I feel bad for you. Unfortunately there may not be anything you can do about it until you're 18. Hang in there. Nearly everyone has rough patches in life, and things will eventually get better.

 

[Epic Beard Man]

My mother came out last year and said she'd been having an affair. She got full custody even though she knows I want to stay with my father and that I think it's a sin. She wont let me got bible study anymore because of it. I also don't like her girlfriend. She gets really aggressive when I oppose her beliefs.

I just want to be with my father. He's always been there more, even when I had my period.

First and foremost I'm sorry you are going through this difficult time in your life right now, but glad to see you have the courage to open up about it here and hopefully I can at least relay some rational advice. From what I've read I understand you may be from another country I suppose (I'll give my reason why I stated that in a bit) because it somewhat reads as if English isn't your first language but no biggie. I think what your mother did was wrong in having an affair, but of course people cheat for different reasons but I believe her affair has caused your family some distress--yourself above all.

I have a few questions:

1) Have you told your mother how her partner makes you feel when you oppose her beliefs?

2) If you have told your mother your feelings, what was her reaction?

3) How old are you? Are you old enough to move out on your own and live with your dad?

Going back to my earlier comment about whether you are from another country my point in saying that is if you're a minor or even an adult perhaps there are laws in place where in order to move out there has to be some sort of arbitration that must mediate that move. But in the end, you must do what is best for you and get out of that situation.

 

[arthra]

My mother came out last year and said she'd been having an affair. She got full custody even though she knows I want to stay with my father and that I think it's a sin. She wont let me got bible study anymore because of it. I also don't like her girlfriend. She gets really aggressive when I oppose her beliefs.
I just want to be with my father. He's always been there more, even when I had my period.

Welcome to the Forum Octogan!

I would ask for counseling if I were in your situation... preferably a family counseling service such as that offered by the Family Service Association or perhaps a court counselor that is experienced in family matters. A counselor can speak on your behalf at a Family Law Court through an attorney.. or perhaps an attorney can represent your interests....

 

[Magus]

Try growing up.

 

[DavidFirth]

Try growing up.

She's only 13, man.