Well... I felt a strong pull to the mysteries of the occult and the Dark Arts since i was a young adolescent around the age of 12. I remember breaking down to tears when i found out that stage magic was "trickery"... from then on i was on a quest to find the real Art of Magic. This opened my eyes to Anton LeVay and the CoS. I never joined but purchased every LaVey publication by the age of 16. I found that Lesser Black Magic was not only awe-inspiring, but resonated with me greatly. I would have to say my mother is partially responsible for this... It's most likely because of her stressing the dangers of "Satan" and how powerful he is. Trying to scare me into a white light religion. Needless to say i was awed by this power and began to get jealous and greedy, saying while i was alone "Why can't i have that kind of power!" Not normal for a 12 year old, but it was a reality for me... the beginning of a journey.
I became Awakened at a very early age concerning "Life"... I was always surrounded by open minded and intelligent people and was provided with all the support a teenager would need. I finished high school and went to college to further my Artistic ability. Aesthetics aid me in the Dark Arts, not unlike the magic wielded by Austin Osman Spear. I became proficient in LBM in my early 20's, MetaCommunication and Sigil construction was a common practice. I'm not a magical prodigy, i know this. And I know my limits, I understand identifying these "limits" is a must in order to identify my progress. I've not performed any Greater Black Magic Workings as of yet, but have read and understand it's use's and synchronization.
The Works of LeVay and Crowley opened my eyes, but i was still thirsty for answers to my questions which they couldn't quench, this momentum navigated me to Aquino, Webb and Flowers. By the age of 22 i started to fill my library with all their Works i could find and began to Practice regularly. I read all these till the bindings failed, over and over i picked up those loose pages like they were rose pedals and put them in place. I began to Become more than what i seemed...i was a Practitioner of the Dark Arts and learning more about this philosophy everyday.
I owe my Awakening to LeVay...but i owe my life to Aquino, Webb and Flowers for my current circumstance, sovereignty of the Self and my Refinement. They aided me to learn how to unlearn what society has programed into me, those negative vices that hindered my ability to Xeper and progress.
The reason i decided attempt to join the ToS was that i began to become idle...i hit a plateau and felt i wasn't progressing. I knew the Temple would be full of Initiates that were learned in the Dark arts. This also made me jealous, filling me with ambition and i began biting my finger nails for years just waiting to be in a secure enough life style where i could dedicate the time necessary. This was imperative, i did not want to waste the Temple's time by being half ready. So again i shoved my face into the books to excell further in my weak areas and become articulate.
This presented me with the prerequisites that i think now has given me the courage and mettle to join. I'm ready to begin the Work and now have the time to genuinely contribute. Hopefully i may share my own effective methods of Initiation and Magic with those who are so noble and high minded to share theirs. This is the greatest aspect i find within the Temple... to share and learn.
The skills and abilities I've become proficient in is the ability to commit, complete and accomplish. I've also created a very unorthodox system of magic through grounding my art work to effect the Subjective universe, which through incubation causes a reaction within the Objective. (get to that later)
I consider myself proficient in LBM. I use systems identified as: Meta Communication, Divination, Sorcery and Sigil construction. I excel in some areas more than others, lime most. I'm aware that LBM involves putting aside an existing set of rules for one of your own creation. It is therefore the "Slaying of Osiris", he who personifies the rule system. Recently over the past 6 or 7 years I've learned systems of LBM that Webb describes being in four varieties: Expansive, Constrictive, Penetrating and Encasing.
Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm, I kept this enthusiasm because of this success which triggers rare moments of clarity...this aids me to worship my potential.
All in dept to treading the Left Hand Path with efficiency, cunning, dignity and Valiance
