I've been Christian all my life and have been on an endless journey to find truth when it comes to God our creater. Which lead me to reject the doctrine of the trinity because the idea of God being 3 "persons" in one is just ridiculous and its roots stem from paganism but now I'm questioning the relationship of God the creater and Jesus the messiah. I've always kinda believed that Jesus was both the son of God and God himself and in the bible, Jesus mentions more than once that he and the father are one but that the father is greater than he is so if he isn't God but the son of God then who was he in the beginning because he only became the son of God after Mary was impregnated but in the bible John 1:1-2 it says....
1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning......
So is Jesus the manifestation of God's word in the flesh which still makes him God or is he the son of God (a separate being) or is he both at the same time.....Kinda like a clone of God in the form of flesh.....
Ugh!
I've never been this confused in my life and its actually troubling my soul