Is manipulation wrong?

[dust1n]

No...I disagree..if you "act" in order to achieve or try to achieve a certain response from another person..you are "manipulating them".

Love

Dallas

I don't disagree with that.

What I am trying to say is that you are manipulating someone regardless if you are 'acting' or 'being yourself'.

 

[DallasApple]

I very much disagree with that. Manipulation can be very subtle indeed.

Its called beign "decieved"..Purposely through manipulation..For usually the gain of the person manipulating you.

Love

Dallas

 

[methylatedghosts]

Its called beign "decieved"..Purposely through manipulation..For usually the gain of the person manipulating you.

Love

Dallas

Manipulation doesn't have to be a deception. It's about saying or doing things to effect a situation in such a way that is beneficial to you - playing on people's guilt to make them do or not do something is a very good example: "If you don't give us a donation, this child in Africa will die of horrible diseases.". Less obvious instances occur all the time.

 

[.lava]

Well if acting isnt pretending then there is no genuine..(and acting in the way Im defining it is FAKING not "acting or reacting)

Love

Dallas

OK. let's say someone i know lost his parent and crying. there i chose to be helpful as much as i can. i would even pick a tone of voice as i talk to my friend. not that i am a liar. i would just consider his emotional situation and be careful about it. so i do chose it and i would still be sincere about it. i mean, i would not lose myself or i would not do something without a choice. don't you chose?

.

 

[Walkntune]

OK. let's say someone i know lost his parent and crying. there i chose to be helpful as much as i can. i would even pick a tone of voice as i talk to my friend. not that i am a liar. i would just consider his emotional situation and be careful about it. so i do chose it and i would still be sincere about it. i mean, i would not lose myself or i would not do something without a choice. don't you chose?

.

You have to ask yourself are you acting or are you being a real genuine friend and just responding to the compassion you feel in your heart at the moment? Choosing to respond to compassion is not manipulation or sharing someone's hurt with them.I believe manipulation is a form of getting someone to respond to your own will and wants instead of being genuine and honest and allowing them to be there own being!

 

[I.S.L.A.M617]

I very much disagree with that. Manipulation can be very subtle indeed.

If someone is too weak-minded to realize they're being manipulated, they are 100% at fault for what comes out of it in my opinion, no matter how subtle the manipulation is. All you really need is a basic ability to read people and you'll be able to see right through the manipulative ones.

 

[.lava]

You have to ask yourself are you acting or are you being a real genuine friend and just responding to the compassion you feel in your heart at the moment? Choosing to respond to compassion is not manipulation or sharing someone's hurt with them.I believe manipulation is a form of getting someone to respond to your own will and wants instead of being genuine and honest and allowing them to be there own being!

i don't know what i would be doing if i am not acting as myself. i don't know. i either act as i am or not. in certain conditions i chose not to act as myself. for example, if i am troubled, sad, unhappy..etc my parents would not know. i would hide it. i would smile and i would try to act ordinary because i don't want them to worry for me. this is not honest but it is still related to my compassion. i care for them so i hide certain personal issues.

well, i think no matter what we do we manipulate each other. knowingly or unknowingly. IMO doing it knowingly and with good intentions is humane. is there any way we could simply be and have no effect on people?

.

 

[Walkntune]

If someone is too weak-minded to realize they're being manipulated, they are 100% at fault for what comes out of it in my opinion, no matter how subtle the manipulation is. All you really need is a basic ability to read people and you'll be able to see right through the manipulative ones.

Manipulators really only manipulate themselves in the end.Trying to full fill oneself through manipulation is straight path to depression and loneliness as far as I have noticed in people.Karma can't be manipulated!

 

[I.S.L.A.M617]

Manipulators really only manipulate themselves in the end.Trying to full fill oneself through manipulation is straight path to depression and loneliness as far as I have noticed in people.Karma can't be manipulated!

Karma is a form of manipulation. By telling people every good deed will be rewarded later and every bad deed will be punished later, they are being manipulated into doing good because of the possibility that the bad things they do will come back to haunt them.

 

[Walkntune]

i don't know what i would be doing if i am not acting as myself. i don't know. i either act as i am or not. in certain conditions i chose not to act as myself. for example, if i am troubled, sad, unhappy..etc my parents would not know. i would hide it. i would smile and i would try to act ordinary because i don't want them to worry for me. this is not honest but it is still related to my compassion. i care for them so i hide certain personal issues.

well, i think no matter what we do we manipulate each other. knowingly or unknowingly. IMO doing it knowingly and with good intentions is humane. is there any way we could simply be and have no effect on people?

.

So you are self sacrificing of your own needs to the benefit of others!Very compassionate!Opposite of manipulation!
I don't think you are obligated to share all personal issues with others. That's what makes them personal right?
If they ask you what's wrong and it is personal, then tell them it is personal.You are telling the truth and not lying!
Even if the reason you make it personal is in order not to make them worry!

 

[Walkntune]

Karma is a form of manipulation. By telling people every good deed will be rewarded later and every bad deed will be punished later, they are being manipulated into doing good because of the possibility that the bad things they do will come back to haunt them.

If I tell you that if you keep standing in the middle of the road you will get hit by a car, I am not trying to manipulate you.
I am warning you and being compassionate.
It is just sharing that there is a law of cause and effect that exists in nature.
If I take this law that exists and use it against you to act in a manner that i want, then it would be manipulation!

 

[I.S.L.A.M617]

If I tell you that if you keep standing in the middle of the road you will get hit by a car, I am not trying to manipulate you.
It is just sharing that there is a law of cause and effect that exists in nature.

. The law of cause and effect is a law of physics, not of nature/life in general. Every outcome can be controlled by a person who realizes that there is no destiny or divine consequence, just the power of Self. If I don't want to get hit by a car, I'll move, then continue walking down the road with no worries. The manipulation comes from telling me that i WILL get hit by a car, not that I might.

 

[Walkntune]

. The law of cause and effect is a law of physics, not of nature/life in general. Every outcome can be controlled by a person who realizes that there is no destiny or divine consequence, just the power of Self. If I don't want to get hit by a car, I'll move, then continue walking down the road with no worries. The manipulation comes from telling me that i WILL get hit by a car, not that I might.

The fact that you move or the car swerves changes the course of actions from the law of cause and effect. So I take it you believe humans stand outside of the laws of physics? Does nature stand outside the laws of physics?

 

[I.S.L.A.M617]

The fact that you move or the car swerves changes the course of actions from the law of cause and effect. So I take it you believe humans stand outside of the laws of physics? Does nature stand outside the laws of physics?

Humans are subject to the laws of physics; their choices aren't. Choices are not material objects, so they are not subject to the same law of cause and effect.

 

[methylatedghosts]

If someone is too weak-minded to realize they're being manipulated, they are 100% at fault for what comes out of it in my opinion, no matter how subtle the manipulation is. All you really need is a basic ability to read people and you'll be able to see right through the manipulative ones.

I'm sorry, but I think that's just silly. How can being manipulated be your fault? Yes, some people *allow* themselves to be manipulated, but that's for their own personal gain, but others don't notice it happening all the time! I know I've been manipulated without realising before, does that mean I'm stupid, or dumb, or weak-minded? No! Of course it doesn't! I know I'm none of those things. To say that it's *my* fault I got manipulated is silly. I'm not laying blame onto the person who does it either - because often they don't realise they are manipulative. Manipulation happens in a lot of interpersonal relationships, as people naturally try to gain control, get people to see their points of view. It's a part of having power and keeping it.

 

[I.S.L.A.M617]

I'm sorry, but I think that's just silly. How can being manipulated be your fault? Yes, some people *allow* themselves to be manipulated, but that's for their own personal gain, but others don't notice it happening all the time! I know I've been manipulated without realising before, does that mean I'm stupid, or dumb, or weak-minded? No! Of course it doesn't! I know I'm none of those things. To say that it's *my* fault I got manipulated is silly. I'm not laying blame onto the person who does it either - because often they don't realise they are manipulative. Manipulation happens in a lot of interpersonal relationships, as people naturally try to gain control, get people to see their points of view. It's a part of having power and keeping it.

That's exactly what I'm saying. In that particular moment of time, you were too stupid to realize you were being manipulated. It happens to all of us; we're not as smart as we would like to think we are. There is nobody but yourself to blame if you fall for someone's manipulation. As far as people not knowing they're being manipulative, that just sounds silly to me. Everybody knows when they want something, and voluntarily resorts to manipulation to get what they want. Nobody does it on accident; to think that is to assume that everyone has the best intentions deep down. In my opinion that's a very naive view of humanity.

 

[methylatedghosts]

That's exactly what I'm saying. In that particular moment of time, you were too stupid to realize you were being manipulated. It happens to all of us; we're not as smart as we would like to think we are. There is nobody but yourself to blame if you fall for someone's manipulation. As far as people not knowing they're being manipulative, that just sounds silly to me. Everybody knows when they want something, and voluntarily resorts to manipulation to get what they want. Nobody does it on accident; to think that is to assume that everyone has the best intentions deep down. In my opinion that's a very naive view of humanity.

No, I'm not saying that you do it BY accident... I'm saying that you can also be manipulative without realising, without intending to be. I know a few people who don't realise that what they are doing is being manipulative

 

[I.S.L.A.M617]

No, I'm not saying that you do it BY accident... I'm saying that you can also be manipulative without realising, without intending to be. I know a few people who don't realise that what they are doing is being manipulative

Everyone realizes they're being manipulative the second they know they want something. Some people just don't like to acknowledge it.

 

[.lava]

Everyone realizes they're being manipulative the second they know they want something. Some people just don't like to acknowledge it.

so people can not be manipulative unless they want something?

.

 

[I.S.L.A.M617]

so people can not be manipulative unless they want something?

.

Isn't the whole point of manipulation to get something that you want from someone else? What other reason would someone have to be manipulative?