Is (straight) sex only for those that wish to procreate?

[MaddLlama]

Ah - but that's not what you said in the post I quoted. If you replace the word "Asking" with "Expecting" - then I will agree with you. It is reasonable to ask them not to though.

Well, then maybe you should read it again....I clearly used the word "expect" in bold italics. I said:

"the question is: should we expect couples who don't want to have children to abstain from sex? I think that is an unreasonable expectation."

That's what this topic is about. Not whether or not abstinence should be a viable alternative, but the question in the OP is should heterosexual sex be only for procreation.

Edit:

Oh, ok, I see what you mean. "asking" was not really the term I should have used. I mean "tell", rather than ask. Sorry.

 

[SoyLeche]

Oh, ok, I see what you mean. "asking" was not really the term I should have used. I mean "tell", rather than ask. Sorry.

That's all right - I'm just being nitpicky anyway

 

[MaddLlama]

That's all right - I'm just being nitpicky anyway

That's ok, my brains works faster than my fingers sometimes :cover:

 

[Quiddity]

Should a person only have heterosexual sex if they're expecting and prepared for having a child?

Why or why not?

Is it reasonable to expect people that don't want children to either have only gay sex or never have sex?

For us, it's about two things: Unification/pleasure and procreation. Always being open to both. Anytime someone intentionally eliminates either of them we see it as unnatural and not what was intended.

 

[Tigress]

Should a person only have heterosexual sex if they're expecting and prepared for having a child?

Why or why not?

Is it reasonable to expect people that don't want children to either have only gay sex or never have sex?

No, I don't think it's a reasonable request, however, like MaddLlama, I do think it's reasonable to ask that couples not prepared for, or not wanting children educate themselves on the various methods of birth control, and what their options are should a pregnancy occur.

 

[Sunstone]

If you want to have no chance of getting in an auto accident - never get into a car.

Isn't it a bit unrealistic to expect people to forego sex or driving simply because there is a chance of an accident with either activity?

 

[Fluffy]

Isn't it a bit unrealistic to expect people to forego sex or driving simply because there is a chance of an accident with either activity?

It is an unreasonable expectation because people won't do it. If the need for sex (for whatever reason) outweighs the risk of having a child then a person will have sex.

It is reasonable to say that if you do not want to have a child then you should not have sex since it is a good piece of advice. If people then go and ignore that advice, and they will, then knowing that in advance would make it irrational for me to expect it of them.

That doesn't mean there is anything unreasonable about stating that the best way for a couple to avoid having a child is to not have sex. Its not like I am with holding some other method that they might use with similar or better risk proportions. This is the best that it gets and anything else is going to be sacrificing some of that safety.

 

[Sunstone]

Life is absolutely full of risks. While it is wise to do what you can to reduce the risks, if you set out with a goal to eliminate all risk from your life, you will very soon be a dysfunctional shut in.

 

[Fluffy]

Life is absolutely full of risks. While it is wise to do what you can to reduce the risks, if you set out with a goal to eliminate all risk from your life, you will very soon be a dysfunctional shut in.

Agreed but here the risk increase is significant (no sex to having sex) and compounded by the seriousness of the consequence (a foetus). To me that seems like an extraordinary risk to take considering you coulda just gone down on each other or rolled around.

It is very frustrating for me to see people who have gotten pregnant and wish dearly that they could have just not had sex in the first place. They do not think about the consequences properly and so are left in a nasty situation.

 

[SoyLeche]

Isn't it a bit unrealistic to expect people to forego sex or driving simply because there is a chance of an accident with either activity?

That depends on who you are talking to. Is it unrealistic to expect it of children of hippies? Probably. Is it unrealistic to expect it of LDS youth - not so much. It wasn't unrealistic to have it expected of me, and I don't believe it will be unrealistic to expect it of my children.

Like Fluffy said - it's only unrealistic if you don't actually believe the advice has a chance to be followed. If it is never suggested though, it will never get to the point where it is realistic.

Back to the car analogy (which, I admit, is bad) - it is not unrealistic at all to say that if you don't want to get in an accident you need to stay away from cars. It is more unrealisitc to say - "well, just drive really carefully and then you won't ever get in an accident."

 

[Ozzie]

Should a person only have heterosexual sex if they're expecting and prepared for having a child?

Why or why not?

Is it reasonable to expect people that don't want children to either have only gay sex or never have sex?

Sex for pleasure and sex for procreation is not like comparing apples and oranges. The "should" part of your question is moral (right vs wrong) and has no place in what straight sex is IMO. Its as if your asking "should I dig a hole and plant apple seed if I want oranges".

Your third question and its options just strikes me as weird. May I ask what is your orientation? I am decidedly hetero and abstinence sounds like a winner given the alternative.

 

[McBell]

Not only is it reasonable - but it is the only way to guarantee that a pregnancy will not occur. Any other method just makes it less likely.

Actually, abstinense is only 99.9% accurate in preventing pregnancy.

Just ask Mary.

 

[SoyLeche]

Actually, abstinense is only 99.9% accurate in preventing pregnancy.

Just ask Mary.

We're talking about unwanted pregnancies though Mary was onboard with the idea.

 

[Jaymes]

Your third question and its options just strikes me as weird. May I ask what is your orientation? I am decidedly hetero and abstinence sounds like a winner given the alternative.

Gay as a lark. It didn't strike me as too weird... maybe I've just been around people whose orientation is really bendy for too long.

 

[Scuba Pete]

Should a person only have heterosexual sex if they're expecting and prepared for having a child?

I had a vasectomy so I would not have to choose between sex and having yet another child. We need to STOP our exploding population.

 

[ckdotca]

Anyone who has sex should be prepared to have a child. I don't think I believe that people should only have sex to have children, but they should feel that becoming pregnent is a perfectly acceptable "side-effect" of sex.

Is a becoming pregnant an acceptable "side-affect" for two 13-year olds? No, probably not. Is it an acceptable "side-effect" to a couple who is having an affair? No, probably not. Then these people shouldn't be having sex.

Is becoming pregnant an acceptable "side-effect" to a young married couple? It should be, or else they: A) shouldn't be married yet or B) shouldn't be having sex yet.

I think lots of people would share this view.

 

[MaddLlama]

Anyone who has sex should be prepared to have a child. I don't think I believe that people should only have sex to have children, but they should feel that becoming pregnent is a perfectly acceptable "side-effect" of sex.

Is a becoming pregnant an acceptable "side-affect" for two 13-year olds? No, probably not. Is it an acceptable "side-effect" to a couple who is having an affair? No, probably not. Then these people shouldn't be having sex.

Is becoming pregnant an acceptable "side-effect" to a young married couple? It should be, or else they: A) shouldn't be married yet or B) shouldn't be having sex yet.

I think lots of people would share this view.

I'm in my 20's, married, and I enjoy having sex. I am not ready to have children, so instead of not doing something I find highly enjoyable, I take precautions and use birth control.

Not being ready to have children is a reason to be careful if you want to have sex. There are plenty of very effective methods avaible to prevent pregnancy if a couple, married or not, wants to have sex.

 

[Jaymes]

Anyone who has sex should be prepared to have a child.

Keep in mind not everyone here has straight sex. I'd be quite surprised if I had sex and became pregnant.

 

[ckdotca]

I understand, I'm just saying that I think sex exists so that we can get pregnant not for pleasure. So with that said... I don't think people should have sex unless they are at least prepared to, if not, wanting to become pregnant.

It's a matter of morals I guess.

 

[ckdotca]

Jensa, I stand by my remarks.