Massimo2002
Active Member
Like say for an example I want people to care about me how would I get this to happen without violence ?
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Is there a way of forcing people to do things without force ?
- Thread starter Massimo2002
- Start date
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- Tags
- psychology
mikkel_the_dane
My own religion
Is there a way of forcing people to do things without force ?
As for the headline, no. It follows from the meaning of the word force, unless you accept a contradiction in effect.
Heyo
Veteran Member
Psychology knows a ton of subtle methods to trick people into doing something they wouldn't have without the methods. Ask anyone in advertising.
mikkel_the_dane
My own religion
Yeah, but if they figure it out, it may get worse.
Hermit Philosopher
Selflessly here for you
Well, I don’t think you’ll get them to “care” about you through violence.
One can influence others, sure.
Not through violence (that is called force), but through persuasion… manipulation… propaganda.
The responsible question that you ought to be asking yourself is: why do you feel that you want to do this at a given moment?
Humbly,
Hermit
Massimo2002
Active Member
Because other people give my life meaning.
mikkel_the_dane
My own religion
Well, yes. But there are other ways to come about meaning. But yes, we are all social in some sense, but to become social is something else.
Massimo2002
Active Member
There probably aren't any other ways to find meaning for me anyway.
mikkel_the_dane
My own religion
Well, I can't answer that as that is not possible to answer in a setting like this and I am not trained to answer that.
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Nimos
Well-Known Member
What an odd question
Just be a friendly, pleasant and helpful person to be around. I don't see how you would ever get anyone to care about you if you are using violence?
Massimo2002
Active Member
Because most people view kindness as weak and view that person as a pushover.What an odd question
Just be a friendly, pleasant and helpful person to be around. I don't see how you would ever get anyone to care about you if you are using violence?
I think you are projecting here - since this is not my experience, of those one would want to be around.
Nimos
Well-Known Member
What?
Imagine we were friends and you needed help with something and asked me for it, if I said "Sure, I'll help you" then you would look at me as a weak person who is easily manipulated? Rather than me doing it, because you were my friend.
Assuming you have a good relationship with your family, wouldn't you help them if they needed it without you feeling weak or that they saw you as a pushover? And if that is not the case, why would you think anyone else would think that way?
To me and why I find the question odd, is because you could just as well have asked.. "I don't get it, my best friend doesn't seem to like me even though I beat him and threaten him occasionally? What am I doing wrong?"
Where are you from where violence or threats of it, is a valid way to make friends, I have never heard of anything like that?
wellwisher
Well-Known Member
One way is to explain the up side, as to why that is in their best interest. This most commonly done with wages. Lots of people go to work doing a job they may not what to do. The paycheck makes all the difference.
Massimo2002
Active Member
I am not talking about friends or family but strangers.
Nimos
Well-Known Member
Yes, but how did you become friends with them in the first place so they cared for you? if you assume that violence is the best way to do this, so you don't appear weak and as a pushover because you seem to think that this is not a way to make friends, even though I don't personally see how you reach that conclusion in the first place.
So I assume you made your friends through violence, otherwise what you are asking is, as I said a rather odd question
Banach-Tarski Paradox
*Banned*
Barbara Deming, although a Quaker, wrote an essay titled, “On Revolution and Equilibrium”, which today is pretty much considered as a fundamental secular manifesto on nonviolence.
It is freely available in pdf form here:
Massimo2002
Active Member
I feel angry at strangers because they don't care about me and won't be my friend.Yes, but how did you become friends with them in the first place so they cared for you? if you assume that violence is the best way to do this, so you don't appear weak and as a pushover because you seem to think that this is not a way to make friends, even though I don't personally see how you reach that conclusion in the first place.
So I assume you made your friends through violence, otherwise what you are asking is, as I said a rather odd question
Nimos
Well-Known Member
No **** Sherlock, can you blame them?
That is why being friendly, kind and helpful might be a better approach. Making friends especially when you are older is pretty tough because most people have already settled on those people they care to spend time with and might not have the energy or time to start new relationships.
Making good friends can take years, but if they see you as a violent person, most would be uncomfortable and stay away from you.
Show them you care about them.