Is there a way of forcing people to do things without force ?

[SalixIncendium]

I feel angry at strangers because they don't care about me and won't be my friend.

I think you just figured out why people aren't caring about you and being your friend.

Maybe don't be angry at strangers.

 

[Hermit Philosopher]

Because other people give my life meaning.

I’m confused… you want to “force people to do things” because they give your life meaning?

Even if you exchanged the word “force” for “persuade/manipulate”, that sentence does not make sense. What am I missing?


Humbly,
Hermit

 

[ChristineM]

Like say for an example I want people to care about me how would I get this to happen without violence ?

Care for people, show an interest in them
and they will care right back.

 

[Massimo2002]

I’m confused… you want to “force people to do things” because they give your life meaning?

Even if you exchanged the word “force” for “persuade/manipulate”, that sentence does not make sense. What am I missing?


Humbly,
Hermit

When people don't care about me and ignore me I feel very empty.

 

[Massimo2002]

Care for people, show an interest in them
and they will care right back.

That only works half of the time.

 

[ChristineM]

That only works half of the time.

Yup, from what i glean from your previous posts a 50% success rate will improve the number of people caring about you by 100%

Even if only 1 responds favourably you will have a friend.

 

[Eddi]

Like say for an example I want people to care about me how would I get this to happen without violence ?

How would you make people care about you *with* violence?????

If you want people to care about you make friends

 

[Nimos]

When people don't care about me and ignore me I feel very empty.

The majority of people don't care about each other in a deep way, because we don't know each other very well. Look at someone living on the street, we all think it is awful, yet very little is being done to help them compared to what could or should be done to solve the issue. The amount of money required to solve it is peanuts compared to the war in Ukraine, yet no issue finding money for that, or money to invest in AI.

And I don't think it's much different when it comes to how you feel about people ignoring you, because that is something everyone experience. But the best approach is still to be helpful and friendly towards others and maybe at some point you might cross paths with someone you click with.

My point is, that you are not special in this case, it is the same for everyone. But it is a fact that two people being friendly towards each other have a greater chance of becoming friends than two who intend to be violent against each other.

 

[Hermit Philosopher]

When people don't care about me and ignore me I feel very empty.

Okay. That makes sense, yes.

I don’t know your age; do you work or are you in school?

Collectively excluding a peer deliberately is a form of bullying. Would you say that you experience this, perhaps? Or is it something different?

Humbly,
Hermit

 

[Hermit Philosopher]

When people don't care about me and ignore me I feel very empty.

Okay. That makes sense, yes.

I don’t know your age; do you work or are you in school?

Collectively excluding a peer deliberately is a form of bullying. Would you say that you experience this, perhaps? Or is it something different?

Humbly,
Hermit

 

[Quintessence]

Step 1 - understand and accept that the universe and other humans do not revolve around you; check your ego and leave the narcissism at the door. The universe and most humans will not care about you. So what? That's okay. Why is it okay? See: Step 2.

Step 2 - understand and accept that you are awesome and amazing; your value and worth is not contingent on anyone or anything. Everyone and everything in this universe has intrinsic value and is beautiful just the way it is. You need no one's care of permission to be awesome because you are inherently awesome.

Step 3 - let your inherent awesomeness flow from you; you are always a participant in the interconnected universe you live in and a shimmering thread in its tapestry. Let your shining thread weave through those of others, connecting and developing relationships through just being who you are. What will be, will be - the path of the shimmering thread will change over time, first near that thread, then a different one. Go with the flow of it, enjoy the ride, accept change, and smell the proverbial roses. Find your current and your inspiration.

There are all these dumb expectations society puts on humans that often fly in the face of the who and what they are. "Oh, you aren't awesome enough because you should get married and have kids." Or "oh, you aren't awesome enough because you don't have enough followers on social media." Or "oh, you aren't awesome enough because you aren't in college and didn't even finish high school." Blah, blah, blah... it's all nonsense. Be who you are. Be authentic to who you are. Healthy, fulfilling relations with both human and non-human others just flow out of it from there. No need to be a coercive jerk or worse.

 

[Vinayaka]

Psychology knows a ton of subtle methods to trick people into doing something they wouldn't have without the methods. Ask anyone in advertising.

When I worked with a colleague who was a dimwit, but had a big ego, a friend and I would plant seeds. As long as you didn't care who got the credit, it worked like magic. Funny to watch too.

 

[VoidCat]

Like say for an example I want people to care about me how would I get this to happen without violence ?

You want folk to care about you? Well first show you worthy of being cared about. What values do you hold?list them out. And try to live those values. Care about others often it causes folk to care about you. You also often draw people who reflect your values by showing said values. What do you want in a friend? Be that person. Others may reflect that. If you are a jerk to people often you wont make friends.

 

[VoidCat]

Because most people view kindness as weak and view that person as a pushover.

Do I seem weak or a pushover to you? We are strangers here. Many call me a kind person both strangers and folk close to me. Im sure youve seen some my posts on here.

 

[VoidCat]

Step 1 - understand and accept that the universe and other humans do not revolve around you; check your ego and leave the narcissism at the door. The universe and most humans will not care about you. So what? That's okay. Why is it okay? See: Step 2.

Step 2 - understand and accept that you are awesome and amazing; your value and worth is not contingent on anyone or anything. Everyone and everything in this universe has intrinsic value and is beautiful just the way it is. You need no one's care of permission to be awesome because you are inherently awesome.

Step 3 - let your inherent awesomeness flow from you; you are always a participant in the interconnected universe you live in and a shimmering thread in its tapestry. Let your shining thread weave through those of others, connecting and developing relationships through just being who you are. What will be, will be - the path of the shimmering thread will change over time, first near that thread, then a different one. Go with the flow of it, enjoy the ride, accept change, and smell the proverbial roses. Find your current and your inspiration.

There are all these dumb expectations society puts on humans that often fly in the face of the who and what they are. "Oh, you aren't awesome enough because you should get married and have kids." Or "oh, you aren't awesome enough because you don't have enough followers on social media." Or "oh, you aren't awesome enough because you aren't in college and didn't even finish high school." Blah, blah, blah... it's all nonsense. Be who you are. Be authentic to who you are. Healthy, fulfilling relations with both human and non-human others just flow out of it from there. No need to be a coercive jerk or worse.

This is the best advice on this thread. I wish someone had told me this when i was a child and alone feeling.

@Massimo2002
We are close to the same age. I am telling you what Quint wrote here does work. Altho you may need therapy to find your worth. And help to make friends. Ive been to therapy off and on since i was 7. It's very helpful. However some cant afford it. If you cant you may be able to find some books on healthy relationships and self improvement preferably by mental health professionals. That could help a lot.

 

[VoidCat]

you cant you may be able to find some books on healthy relationships and self improvement preferably by mental health professionals. That could help a lot.

i can suggest some if needed. There's also YouTube channels i can suggest but you'd have to be careful there. Some advice on youtube can be dicey I know a few tho ran by mental health professionals

 

[Quintessence]

This is the best advice on this thread. I wish someone had told me this when i was a child and alone feeling.

@Massimo2002
We are close to the same age. I am telling you what Quint wrote here does work. Altho you may need therapy to find your worth. And help to make friends. Ive been to therapy off and on since i was 7. It's very helpful. However some cant afford it. If you cant you may be able to find some books on healthy relationships and self improvement preferably by mental health professionals. That could help a lot.

Courtesy and due credit to my mom, who was one of God's angels on Earth. In her household, grew up being told we were fine just the way they were and that we didn't need to "prove" anything to anyone to be loved and worthy.

So to add, I suppose - if at all possible put yourself into a space where you're accepted for who and what you are. I fully realize that isn't always possible. But today with stuff like the internet it is easier than ever to connect to positive, self-affirming communities. Not the ones that are just pity parties "woe is me, woe is me, listen to my grievances!" but folks who just... express themselves and listen to each other and go "hey, that's cool!" when you tell your stories.

 

[Banach-Tarski Paradox]

Courtesy and due credit to my mom, who was one of God's angels on Earth. In her household, grew up being told we were fine just the way they were and that we didn't need to "prove" anything to anyone to be loved and worthy.

So to add, I suppose - if at all possible put yourself into a space where you're accepted for who and what you are. I fully realize that isn't always possible. But today with stuff like the internet it is easier than ever to connect to positive, self-affirming communities. Not the ones that are just pity parties "woe is me, woe is me, listen to my grievances!" but folks who just... express themselves and listen to each other and go "hey, that's cool!" when you tell your stories.

Your mother is/was a wise woman.

 

[VoidCat]

Courtesy and due credit to my mom, who was one of God's angels on Earth. In her household, grew up being told we were fine just the way they were and that we didn't need to "prove" anything to anyone to be loved and worthy.

So to add, I suppose - if at all possible put yourself into a space where you're accepted for who and what you are. I fully realize that isn't always possible. But today with stuff like the internet it is easier than ever to connect to positive, self-affirming communities. Not the ones that are just pity parties "woe is me, woe is me, listen to my grievances!" but folks who just... express themselves and listen to each other and go "hey, that's cool!" when you tell your stories.

You mom sounds amazing

 

[Yerda]

Care for people, show an interest in them
and they will care right back.

And in the end
The love you take
Is equal to the love you make