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Jesus committed a crime

djewleu

djewleu

Member
He killed TWO THOUSAND swine to [pretend he] cast demons from a victim.
Demons do NOT drown.
They left the swine and went on back to their usual business!
Jesus destroyed PRIVATE property to advertise his Father’s love!
He cheated.
He played with demons in the name of Beelzebub, according to the Pharisees.
Matthew 8, Mark 5, Luke 8.
 
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Kathryn

Kathryn

It was on fire when I laid down on it.
If you doubt that He had the power to cast demons out of a person, why do you believe He had the power to make two thousand swine run off a cliff?
 
djewleu

djewleu

Member
Jesus cheated, because he pretended the swine were possessed by pushing them over the ravine.
The demons were not even a bit worried, BECAUSE the time the very FIRST entered the victim Jesus' Father was looking and let them in!!
Next, this first one invited the other 1999 and Jesus' Father was still looking, allowing them to possess the INNOCENT victim!
Jesus, his Father and the Devil, all play with innocent humans, what for I don't know!
 
Kathryn

Kathryn

It was on fire when I laid down on it.
djewleu said:
Jesus cheated, because he pretended the swine were possessed by pushing them over the ravine.
The demons were not even a bit worried, BECAUSE the time the very FIRST entered the victim Jesus' Father was looking and let them in!!
Next, this first one invited the other 1999 and Jesus' Father was still looking, allowing them to possess the INNOCENT victim!
Jesus, his Father and the Devil, all play with innocent humans, what for I don't know!
Click to expand...


So you believe in demon possession and exorcisms?
 
G

ghostseraph

New Member
imaginaryme said:
He did "commit sin" - o father, why hast thou forsaken me - nobody gets that one. :cool:
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i am wondering how much authority this person has spoken with, and by which power- Any one who has read the Pe****ta can dissapprove this statement- but again how many of us have read the syriac text of the new testament.

that is why so many of us err, when speaking from a general standpiont it would be good to add at the end of each statement - (as far as I have knowledge of) for so many of us our knowledge is limited to say the least and biased.

I am a christian, and as for this post. it is a bit hhumorous to me-but it shows our ignorance into the chrism and its truest manifestation
 
Caladan

Caladan

Agnostic Pantheist
djewleu said:
He killed TWO THOUSAND swine to [pretend he] cast demons from a victim.
Demons do NOT down.
They left the swine and went on back to their usual business!
Jesus destroyed PRIVATE property to advertise his Father’s love!
He cheated.
He played with demons in the name of Beelzebub, according to the Pharisees.
Matthew 8, Mark 5, Luke 8.
Click to expand...
The real crime is that the Jews keep Kosher, and hadn't made use of the fresh supply of pork meat. I bet some Roman Legionnaires had quite a feast that evening praising Jupiter around the bone fire. sometimes the gospels fail to deliver us the real interesting everyday details. like what was Dismas last crime prior to his death sentence, how many Pharisees have shown favor to Jesus like Nicodemus (instead of getting a stereotypical demonization of the lot), and was John the baptist a Yemeni Jew? (hint.. the man loved his locusts in wild honey!).
 
Valjean

Valjean

Veteran Member
Premium Member
How do you "push" two thousand pigs off a cliff (and who's ever seen a herd of swine that big, outside a factory farm)? Have you ever tried to push even one pig in a direction he didn't want to go?
Clearly a miracle of God. :shout

Didn't Jesus send one of his disciples into a town to steal an ***, at one point? I seem to remember a passage about this
 
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djewleu

djewleu

Member
Seyorni said:
How do you "push" two thousand pigs off a cliff (and who'se ever seen a herd of swine that big, outside a factory farm)? Have you ever tried to push even one pig in a direction he didn't want to go?
Clearly a miracle of God. :shout

Didn't Jesus send one of his disciples into a town to steal an ***, at one point? I seem to remember a passage about this
Click to expand...

Of course the choreography is folklore. What else could it be?!...
But standing as it is, it represents a crime committed by Jesus.
In court he would be asked: "Jesus! Jesus! Wasn't there a better way, without destroying private property, dear Jesus?!!... Was it not?!!!..."
"Three years of hard labour for this junior christ!"
 
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Smoke

Smoke

Done here.
Seyorni said:
Didn't Jesus send one of his disciples into a town to steal an ***, at one point? I seem to remember a passage about this
Click to expand...
And when they drew nigh unto Jerusalem, and were come to Bethphage, unto the mount of Olives, then sent Jesus two disciples, saying unto them, Go into the village over against you, and straightway ye shall find an *** tied, and a colt with her: loose them, and bring them unto me. And if any man say ought unto you, ye shall say, The Lord hath need of them; and straightway he will send them.

All this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophet, saying,Tell ye the daughter of Sion, Behold, thy King cometh unto thee, meek, and sitting upon an ***, and a colt the foal of an ***.

And the disciples went, and did as Jesus commanded them, and brought the ***, and the colt, and put on them their clothes, and they set him thereon.
​
If one takes the scriptures literally, this conjures up a rather undignified picture of Jesus being mounted on an *** and a colt at the same time.
 
Valjean

Valjean

Veteran Member
Premium Member
[why does insta-censor delete the common name for a donkey?](rhetorical question)

Silly censor -- deletes only American vulgarisms: "arse," "fanny," "baps"... see?
 
Cobblestones

Cobblestones

Devoid of Ettiquette
djewleu said:
He killed TWO THOUSAND swine to [pretend he] cast demons from a victim.
Demons do NOT down.
They left the swine and went on back to their usual business!
Jesus destroyed PRIVATE property to advertise his Father’s love!
He cheated.
He played with demons in the name of Beelzebub, according to the Pharisees.
Matthew 8, Mark 5, Luke 8.
Click to expand...
Why do you have so much vitriol toward Christianity? It's just a story dude! Get a grip.
 
Kathryn

Kathryn

It was on fire when I laid down on it.
imaginaryme said:
That's the whole ball of wax. Guy lived all his days in crystal purity (supposedly ;)) but right at the end, he commits a readily forgivable error - doubting God - and that sews it all up. Jesus as mortal morality. :cool:
Click to expand...

Wow, way to twist scriptures.

Jesus didn't doubt God at that point. At that point, He assumed the sins of the entire human race. He was carrying the guilt of all of us at that moment on the cross. That is why God "forsook" Him - allowed Him to die in atonement for those sins.

Jesus suffered horribly on that cross. Though He was fully divine, He was also fully human. The pain of His Father turning His back on Him at that moment had to fill Him with absolute dispair and pain. This is a cry of pain, not doubt.
 
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