No that is the only big problem and the other problems are small things. I just prefer being anonymous and not be judged by other swedes in my hometown
If that is the sitaution there is nothing any of us on this forum to can do. We are all from different countries and on-line forums are not the best places to get answers on how to become Jewish.
If being Jewish is what you really desire the only option available to you is moving to an area with a Jewish community. If being Jewish is what you really desire it may even mean being Jewish first and not Swedish "culturally." The reason is because in reality really being Jewish is not a religion that you show up, make an oath, and it doesn't matter if you are never seen again. As has been pointed being Jewish is a national and communal commitment. This is the Jewish way of doing things and it has been this way for thousands of years.
Just as an example. I knew a girl in NYC who grew up as a secular Muslim in a secular household. Due to a Hasidic performer she became interesting in Judaism. She got books and started secretly learning w/o telling her family. One day her father, who was a secular Muslim, found her books on Judaism and he flipped out on her. The arguement escalated to the point where she had to move out. She eventually made her way to a completely Jewish Hasidic neighborhood and she successfully converted there and no longer can go home to visit her father because of his reaction.
There is a guy here in Israel who converted and due to his previous family and communal structure he can only visit his family at night and in secret.
I once met a guy here in Jerusalem who grew up and was married in an American Christian family. He had a wife and 3 or 4 kids. He worked as an architech for a Christian company that designed churches. At some point he became aware of Judaism and decided that he wanted to practice as much of it as he could. When he expressed this to his wife you warned him,
"You better do that Jewish stuff in the closet!" That is exactly what he did. He did Jewish stuff in the closet of his home. He would take it all off when he left the closet. That went on for a while until one day he forgot to take the kippa off and he went to work. Of course him showing up to his job with a kippa on raised some alarm bells and eventually he lost his job. When his wife find out she divorced him. He told me that the hardest part about the whole thing was when his only son told him to his face,
"I don't want to see you again. You are not my dad. My father is dead." When he told me this story it really hit me to my heart YET he said after that he moved to Israel and began seeking an Orthodox conversation. He was learning at a Yeshivah and he was experiencing the greatest joy of his life even with the fact that he lost everything to get that joy.
Lastly, about 100 years ago there was a Catholic priest in Uganda who sat down one day decided to really study his bible. Yet, after some intense study he came to the conclusion that what he was reading was Jewish and foreign to what he was doing as a Catholic. So, he met with his family and had a discussion with them. That discussion led to him and his sons circumcising themselves and trying to live as Jewish as they could. Over the last 100 years he started getting other Ugandans on board with what he was doing until they formed their own Jewish community. During the last 100 years they faced a lot of animostiy from their families, their neighbors, and they survived the Idi Amin regime, until the point when they were able to convert in the last 20 to 30 years.
There is nothing any of us on this forum to can do. We are all from different countries and on-line forums are not the best places to get answers on how to become Jewish. You essentially don't have any options outside of approaching the Jewish community Sweden. Sorry but that is the reality.
