Lesbians

[Buttercup]

To answer your question Maize I would say I think 'b' first and then 'a'.

And I agree with AE's comments about there needing to be sexual attraction or what would be the point of the relationship? I have plenty of women friends that I'm not the least attracted to. Does this make me a lesbian because it does not involve sex? No, you have to add the sexual components for it to be a lesbian attraction or it would just constitute the relationship as friendship.

Are you meaning something that we're missing?

 

[evearael]

A heterosexual could have sex with someone of the same gender and still be straight because they are not attracted to that gender. Most people love people of both genders, but it is the capacity for romantic love, not familial or platonic, that marks sexual orientation.

 

[Buttercup]

A heterosexual could have sex with someone of the same gender and still be straight because they are not attracted to that gender. Most people love people of both genders, but it is the capacity for romantic love, not familial or platonic, that marks sexual orientation.

If that is the general explanation for sexual orientatioin I can understand and it makes sense. I have to admit that there have been times when I have been sexually attracted to a girl but would never want a romantic relationship with one. It was sexual attraction only. I'm very romantically attracted and sexually attracted to men.

But, I have wondered what it makes you if you are sexually attracted to but not romantically attracted to the same sex. Does that mean you could be bi?

 

[standing_alone]

Does that mean you could be bi?

It all depends on how you identify yourself.

 

[evearael]

Only you can figure that out...

 

[Buttercup]

It all depends on how you identify yourself.

I haven't thought about that I guess. I figure I am just straight.

But, there have been times when I have met a girl and been attracted sexually to her. Geeez, I can't believe I am admitting this but, oh well. But I only want to be loved by a man. I would find no satisfaction in romantic love with a woman. Deep friendship most definitely as I really enjoy women, but I would not desire romantic love with one.

So I don't know what that makes me?

 

[standing_alone]

Geeez, I can't believe I am admitting this but, oh well.

Why? What's wrong with admitting this? Got something against homosexuals?

So I don't know what that makes me?

I think you answered yourself here:

I figure I am just straight.

If you identify as straight, than that's what you are. If you're unsure, perhaps you may want to think it over and find out how you feel. But if you consider yourself to be straight, then as far as I'm concerned, you're straight.

I actually identify myself as bisexual (although I prefer just calling myself homosexual) since I find men sexually attractive as well as I do women, but know I would never want to be in a relationship with a man. However, because of this, I am thinking about identifying myself as a lesbian instead. So, I guess my point is, it all depends on how you identify yourself; what you consider your sexual orientation to be is your sexual orientation.

In fact, I personally feel that most people are actually bisexual instead of either homosexual or heterosexual. I don't think many people are at the extremes of either heterosexual exclusively or homosexual exclusively. I think more people fall in between these two extremes, but identify themselves according to what they feel they are. I don't know. I'm probably wrong, but it makes sense to me.

 

[Buttercup]

Why? What's wrong with admitting this? Got something against homosexuals?

No of course I don't have anything against homosexuals....and it's answers like yours that make people NOT want to be honest!

I just have trouble talking about my PERSONAL sexual habits. I can joke about all sorts of sexual innuendos till the cows come home but to talk about me personally is more difficult.

Just be proud of me for admitting that much. NONE of my close friends know that little handy tidbit of info. I can divulge it on an almost anonymous internet forum I suppose!

 

[standing_alone]

No of course I don't have anything against homosexuals....

I know, I was just being my typical annoying self.

and it's answers like yours that make people NOT want to be honest!

I was just joking about the first thing and sorry if you feel the rest of my post is crap, too.

 

[evearael]

Honesty is the best policy. I came out of the closet to my dad... his response, "No, you're not." Oh well.

 

[Buttercup]

I know, I was just being my typical annoying self.



I was just joking about the first thing and sorry if you feel the rest of my post is crap, too.

Oh for the love of Pete Alyssa, you know me better than that kitty poop head!

I'm just trying to find answers myself...that's why I am admitting something that's difficult for me.

So, what constitutes a bi-sexual person then? Someone who desires romantic love from both sexes at times?

 

[evearael]

Yes, though personal interpretations vary.

 

[standing_alone]

Oh for the love of Pete Alyssa, you know me better than that kitty poop head!

I know. I was just trying to get pity.

I'm just trying to find answers myself...that's why I am admitting something that's difficult for me.

I understand. But the only one that's going to find those answers is you. It is a difficult process. Believe me. Been there, done that. You're the only person that can figure out your sexual identity. I know, this isn't helping at all.

So, what constitutes a bi-sexual person then? Someone who desires romantic love from both sexes at times?

Someone who is sexually attracted to both sexes, I suppose would be a place to begin this definition. You could ask tons of people that personally identify as bisexual how they define what bisexuality is and you'd get tons of different definitions. To me, a bisexual person is someone who is attracted sexually (and, perhaps romantically) to both sexes. That's about the best I can answer that for now - especially when I am re-evaluating my own sexual orientation at the moment. If you got any other questions you want to ask, ask 'em and I'll give the best answer I can, but I do have to go to class in a few minutes. (I'm going to class! Aren't you proud of me? )

 

[Buttercup]

Yes! I am very glad you are going to class! Yiippeeee! If I could give you frubals for going to class I would but I"m out!

Oh..I don't have any conflicts about it in the least actually. Just curious. I am happily straight but have had sexual thoughts and attraction to females before. Not like it's every day or anything but it has happened. I don't see it as a thing that needs to be figured out other than I have wondered if that means I could be bi-sexual. But, on the other hand I don't feel as though I'm gypping myself by not acting on my occasional desires or anything.

And thanks for answering my questions!

 

[standing_alone]

If I could give you frubals for going to class I would but I"m out!

Well, once you're able to give out frubals again...

And thanks for answering my questions!

Twas nothing!

 

[CaptainXeroid]

...Be honest...

OK...as long everyone takes a deep breath and reads my post carefully.

...If I were to say, "I am a lesbian." What would be the first thought that pops into your head...

If you had asked me this question several years ago, and I imagine if you ask many people today, the answer would have been solely related to sex. For a while, my honest belief was that lesbians were angry man-hating feminists who were rebelling against what was 'right and decent' or they were just kinky and biding their time until they met the right man.:banghead3

Anyway, like they say, that was then, this is now.:rainbow1: I got to know some women as friends and learned that they did a lot of things other than engage in sex. I know some of you are shaking your heads and thinking 'What an idiot!' Well....when people don't have firsthand knowledge about something, they fill in the blanks with what they think they know, no matter how bad that information is.

What I have learned since then is that these women did not chose to be attracted to women any more than I did. Many of them, as well as some gay men I have met, actually prayed for God to make them not feel that way.

So...I don't claim to speak for any heterosexual person other than me. My belief is that lesbians love and are attracted to other women and that sexual relations vary in importance to the couple much in the same way they would vary among heterosexual or other homosexual couples.

I've read many times that pro sports leagues and advertisers don't want women to come out as being lesbian because they fear it will hurt the sport. Does being a woman being an out lesbian matter to you if she is a good athlete?

It doesn't matter to me, but my guess is that the research show that it does hurt the marketing efforts. I think the same thing applies to men in sports. Try naming some top male athletes who have 'come out'. Short list....honestly, I can't think of any. This article is a bit old and this column was written last year, but they provide some insight into the subject.


I did not don a flame suit here, so I can only trust that I won't get toasted for throwing my 2 copper coins in the pot.

 

[michel]

Women who love women are Lesbians.

Men, because they can only think of women in sexual terms, define "Lesbian" as sex between women. -Rita Mae Brown

Do you think this is true? Do straight people define lesbian as "sex between women"? When they do this, are they denying that two women could possibly be in love with each other and thus the relationship is only sexual in nature?

If I were to say, "I am a lesbian." What would be the first thought that pops into your head:
a) she has/wants to have sex with other women, or
b) she loves and is attracted to other women?

Be honest.


p.s. Please, do not use this thread to discuss the morality of lesbianism/homosexuality.

Honestly ? b)...............a) would be a very secondary thought; just as Gay (to me) means attraction for members of the same sex; just as when I look at (what I presume is) a heterosexual, I don't immediately think of the sexual aspect of the person.

 

[Xmas]

Isn't it just bi-curious if no action is taken on that feeling toward the same gender?

 

[standing_alone]

Isn't it just bi-curious if no action is taken on that feeling toward the same gender?

I think it's all dependent upon how the person chooses to identify his-or-herself. But yeah, that can definately be the case.

 

[evearael]

Bi-curious is typically someone who is unsure of their sexuality and thinks they may like both. Action doesn't necessarily peg someone as a particular orientation. There are plenty of gays who get married and have kids, because society wants them to, even though they don't. There are also plenty of straights who experiment with the same gender because they are bored one weekend.