Shadow Link
Active Member
An individual to collective vigor which corrupt power fears soon after they are able to ban weapons.
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Masculinity
- Thread starter Rival
- Start date
I don't eat quiche, so it's true.
I sometimes eat quiche.
But I'd rather just have it as scrambled eggs.
Flan is better.
Eww.
One of the very first things I told my husband when we were dating (we were friends first and I didn't say those things then but thought them) was that I thought he was masculine. I remember him laughing and I said ''it's true.''
He's strong physically and mentally, stoic at times sensitive at other times, confident but not arrogant...he doesn't put me down to ''feel like a man.'' There are many traits that he has that may not be exclusively masculine traits, but it's how *I* define masculinity. I don't see that masculinity needs to be defined by how much a man earns, or traditional stereotypes.
Now, my dad is domineering, controlling, used to put my mom down, and although we have reconciled our differences (we didn't speak for a few years) I really didn't want to marry someone like him. (I dated MANY like him, though.)
He's strong physically and mentally, stoic at times sensitive at other times, confident but not arrogant...he doesn't put me down to ''feel like a man.'' There are many traits that he has that may not be exclusively masculine traits, but it's how *I* define masculinity. I don't see that masculinity needs to be defined by how much a man earns, or traditional stereotypes.
Now, my dad is domineering, controlling, used to put my mom down, and although we have reconciled our differences (we didn't speak for a few years) I really didn't want to marry someone like him. (I dated MANY like him, though.)
Shakeel
Well-Known Member
I'm surprised so many people today are asking what masculinity means..
The dictionary says it means "having qualities appropriate to or usually associated with a man". If it is still unclear, I'm very concerned about whether there are any men at all in the lives of the people here asking what masculinity is and wondering if the term is useful.
The dictionary says it means "having qualities appropriate to or usually associated with a man". If it is still unclear, I'm very concerned about whether there are any men at all in the lives of the people here asking what masculinity is and wondering if the term is useful.
Different cultures will have different qualities considered appropriate to or usually associated with a man. And things become more or less masculine depending on cultural shifts. Masculinity, if just looking at averages across culture, doesn't have very much meaning, nor things that could be considered innate. And, more importantly, no individual quality men should have that women shouldn't.
Shakeel
Well-Known Member
I assume you imply there are cultures where a man's feminine trait according to culture x is actually masculine or neutral, according to culture y. If that is so, do you have examples?
Where I live and what I've seen and what I've read about, anywhere in the world, masculinity has a clear meaning and the demand for masculine men is always high. (Luckily, men are naturally masculine. It requires a lot of effort to make them otherwise.)
There are tons of qualities that are very unattractive on women and tons that are unattractive on men. Those would be the feminine qualities on men and the masculine qualities on women.
I've noticed a lot of men really misunderstand what women actually find attractive. And what most men consider 'masculine' such as big muscles and aggressive attitude, isn't actually very attractive to most women statistically. Nor specific body areas (such as arms or chest, when it's usually more facial features and butts). I assume the same thing is true for women being unsure of what's really attractive to men. Which also is tempered by there not being a monolith on what qualities are considered 'masculine' and 'feminine' and certainly not 'attractive.' Things like whether clean shaven is feminine or masculine, and attractive, vary across Europe, the Middle East, Asia and the Americas. Ditto with things like cooking food for family (which is something seen more masculine in some Asian and South American cultures), wearing dresses vs pants, or makeup, having a high pitched affectation vs a lower one (it's reversed in some cultures from others).
That's going to impact how each culture's gender presentation is going to be, as well as each individual's view on whether that gender norm should be accepted or rejected, and why.
What's clear is that what is considered masculine or feminine isn't absolute or innate. There's enough variability to show that. I define it as something more along Chinese traditional lines. Energy externalized vs energy internalized. But then again in that same traditional view, being an all masculine man to the exclusion of all things feminine is unhealthy, and visa versa.
Wildswanderer
Veteran Member
Masculine is being able to do hard things. Cut firewood, kill stuff, climb hills ..or perhaps it's being willing to take responsibility for themselves and others and not being a grown up baby child. Working hard to support a family and not expecting anything special in return for example.
Sure a woman can do these things but when a man does them, it's masculine.
Kooky
Freedom from Sanity
I've heard that it is somewhat acceptable among Middle Eastern men to openly show emotions such as grief or sadness, and in some specific situations, even to cry, is that correct or am I very off with this depiction?
In many Western societies, the only acceptable emotions for men to display among other men seem to be aggression and anger.
Secret Chief
Veteran Member
Quiche-chomping faggots.
Shakeel
Well-Known Member
It is acceptable to show emotions in the west and in the east. Individuals may vary but that doesn't create some kind of a general concensus. I know of no man here in the west who shows only aggression and anger. Actually I barely ever see either displayed.
Kooky
Freedom from Sanity
How often do you see Western men cry in front of you?
Shakeel
Well-Known Member
No man outside family members has ever cried in front of me. The women who have were strangers crying to someone else. What's your point?
Kooky
Freedom from Sanity
The one I made in post #32.
Shakeel
Well-Known Member
Since I already said it's false, I expected you'd have moved on to something else or proven it somehow.
Kooky
Freedom from Sanity
I acknowledge your personal, unsupported opinion and disagree with it.
Shakeel
Well-Known Member
My opinion isn't unsupported on any level. It is your opinion that has no support that I'm aware of.