Math and science jokes -- GO!

[Sunstone]

An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are staying at a hotel. A fire breaks out in the night, the engineer wakes up, dumps water on it putting it out and goes back to bed.

A while later, the fire rekindles. This time the physicist wakes up, calculates precisely how much water is needed to put the fire out, dumps that amount of water on the fire putting it out, and goes back to bed.

A while after that, the fire rekindles yet again. The mathematician wakes up, determines there is a solution to the problem, and then goes back to bed.

 

[Neo-Logic]

What is 12 inches long and isn't a ruler?


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What were YOU thinking of?

 

[McBell]

What were YOU thinking of?

The length of that post

 

[painted wolf]

I'm not clever enough for a written joke, I'm a visual gal.

wa:do

 

[Gunfingers]

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first says to the bartender "I'll have a glass of beer".
The second says "I'll have half a glass of beer."
The third says "I'll have a quarter of a glass of beer."
The fourth says "I'll have--"
Then the bartender cuts him off, says "You're all idiots", and pours two glasses of beer.

Spoiler: For those that don't get it

The sum from n=0 to infinity of one over two to the n (1/2^n) is two. In other words make a list of fractions 1 + 1/2 + 1/4 + 1/8 + ... doubling the denominator every time up to infinity. If you add all these fractions up you get exactly 2.

 

[DarkSun]

Let, a = b
a^2 = ab
a^2 - b^2 = a^2 - ab
(a - b)*(a + b) = a*(a - b)
a + b = a
But, a = b
: . a + a = a
2a = a
2 = 1

 

[DarkSun]

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first says to the bartender "I'll have a glass of beer".
The second says "I'll have half a glass of beer."
The third says "I'll have a quarter of a glass of beer."
The fourth says "I'll have--"
Then the bartender cuts him off, says "You're all idiots", and pours two glasses of beer.

Geometric progressions are epic.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Let, a = b
a^2 = ab
a^2 - b^2 = a^2 - ab
(a - b)*(a + b) = a*(a - b)
a + b = a
But, a = b
: . a + a = a
2a = a
2 = 1

The bit in red is the step where you divided by zero. That final equation should be 2 x 0 = 1 x 0, which is actually true.

[/party pooper]

 

[painted wolf]

wa:do

 

[kai]

MOD POST
This thread has been moved to Games / Pics / Jokes / Stories​

 

[painted wolf]

wa:do

 

[evolved yet?]

 

[DarkSun]

 

[painted wolf]

wa:do

 

[DarkSun]

 

[linwood]

A Higgs-boson walks into a church.
"

The funniest part of that joke is that the only place a Higgs-Boson has ever been seen is a church.

More irony.

 

[DavyCrocket2003]

Hahaha!

So, my O-Chem teacher put this one on our first test this semester. I literally laughed out loud in the testing center...

Here is a pre-exam chemistry joke for you:

Q: Two bears were walking along the side of a lake. One was from the arctic, and one was from California. Both of the bears fell in! Which one dissolved first?

A: The one from the arctic, because he was polar!

 

[painted wolf]

wa:do

 

[Gunfingers]

This amused me.

 

[painted wolf]

Chickens as presented to the AAAS humor session 2007. One of the best science parodies of all time!

video of the power point presentation.
[youtube]yL_-1d9OSdk[/youtube]
YouTube - Chicken chicken chicken

and the pdf of the paper.
http://isotropic.org/papers/chicken.pdf

wa:do