My five year-old son is gay

[Walkntune]

It is rather naive to pretend that the parents reactions to the kid dressed like a child had nothing to do with homosexuality (regardless how well they worded themselves not to sound like a bigot) and I provided information on how their actions are in fact homophobic. Did you want to debate this?

[/QUOTE]
Sure we can debate this.
All kids usually dress like children. I don't see the issue here.
I'll be serious.
First show me how their actions are homophobic and not a response against transvestite?
And then I would like to know how you can determine the actions were not just that of simply assuming the children will tease him for being a sissy for wearing a girls costume.
I am sorry that its true that boys pick on other boys for not being as fast, strong or dominate but its in nature itself I guess as part of survival of the fittest.
Sort of like women comparing themselves to other women.

 

[Magic Man]

You're ignoring my point.

Nope. I addressed your point. If you'd rather pretend I didn't, you're welcome to do that, though.

 

[Magic Man]

"You're right, baby, people might make fun of you. Do you still want to wear that costume?"

Right, and this is the entire problem. Somehow because she didn't make it clear that this is what she said, she suddenly has an agenda and wants to boast about her own tolerance and awesomeness. Maybe she was hoping he wouldn't have to deal with such ridicule. Obviously, that hope mostly came true.

What I just don't get is the going from "She should have said this instead of that" to "She's some arrogant woman looking for attention and exploiting her son for her own agenda".

 

[Storm]

Right, and this is the entire problem. Somehow because she didn't make it clear that this is what she said, she suddenly has an agenda and wants to boast about her own tolerance and awesomeness. Maybe she was hoping he wouldn't have to deal with such ridicule. Obviously, that hope mostly came true.

What I just don't get is the going from "She should have said this instead of that" to "She's some arrogant woman looking for attention and exploiting her son for her own agenda".

I don't think she's arrogant so much as needy, but I get your point.

To try to answer the question... well, it's a bunch of things, culminating in the fact that she posted it at all.

Like I said waaaaaaaaaaaay upthread, I sincerely hope that I'm wrong and you're right. But I can't help the impression I got.

 

[Quagmire]

"Transvestyke" would have been even better.
heh.

I concede.

 

[dust1n]

I only got a little time before class, but...

So, he lucked out. Doesn't mean it wasn't a reasonable expectation.

But it was entirely unreasonable to think that other kids wouldn't make fun of him, even when the other kids didn't make fun of him?

Oh, bull. She flat out denied he would be made fun of, and that was either a lie or astonishing naivete. What's more, even if kids didn't have a problem with it, someone clearly did, or she wouldn't have anything to rant about.

Bull again. What part of "might" did you not understand?

Oops. Didn't see 'might'. You will have to forgive me on that one.

Which can be taken in stride and answered in age-appropriate ways. No need to bring up sucking penises.

What is the age-appropriate way to explain to the boy WHY, him, as a five-year-old boy might get made fun of for dressing like a girl?

As an actual parent, I haven't and I won't.

Then how do you explain WHY a boy might get made fun of for dressing like a girl? Granted, I do not want to question your parental communication skills, but is it not a particularly touchy subject where one word might make the utmost difference? How truthful is one suppose to be to their five-year-old?

 

[Storm]

What is the age-appropriate way to explain to the boy WHY, him, as a five-year-old boy might get made fun of for dressing like a girl?

Then how do you explain WHY a boy might get made fun of for dressing like a girl? Granted, I do not want to question your parental communication skills, but is it not a particularly touchy subject where one word might make the utmost difference? How truthful is one suppose to be to their five-year-old?

No, not really. "Some people have a problem with it, like long hair on boys."

 

[dust1n]

Again, not a generalization. My OPINION is based on the same article yours is. So, sorry... but no.

Well then, we can probably leave it that. An opinion is entirely untestable, so we will have to live with our limited ability to speculate.

I don't believe I specified "political," as that's only part of it.

You said, 'political football.'

The agenda I see is, first and foremost, that she wants to show how enlightened she is, letting her son dress as a girl. The political part, "it's ok to be gay," is secondary. That's not a bad agenda by any means, but it is an agenda, and she's using her son to make a point.

The first part is ostentation, the second borders on exploitation, and I find the whole thing mildly disturbing.

An agenda implies meditated action, does it not?


1
: a list or outline of things to be considered or done <agendas of faculty meetings>
2
: an underlying often ideological plan or program <a political agenda>


Agenda - Definition and More from the Free Merriam-Webster Dictionary


I don't have the OED on me, but I'm not aware of an unconscious action that could be put on agenda. How can you plan or outline something you don't know?

 

[dust1n]

No, not really. "Some people have a problem with it, like long hair on boys."

But you are withholding the truth, granted you aren't lying.

And what if you get, "Why?"

 

[dust1n]

Sure we can debate this.
All kids usually dress like children. I don't see the issue here.
I'll be serious.
First show me how their actions are homophobic and not a response against transvestite?
And then I would like to know how you can determine the actions were not just that of simply assuming the children will tease him for being a sissy for wearing a girls costume.
I am sorry that its true that boys pick on other boys for not being as fast, strong or dominate but its in nature itself I guess as part of survival of the fittest.
Sort of like women comparing themselves to other women.

I have already went over this once. When a male dresses like a girl, he breaks the gender role in which society has assigned him. When homophobes see this, they criticize it because it is not gender-normative, which excludes anything out of normality. This is considered homophobic.

 

[Revoltingest]

Found this while surfing the net and thought it worth sharing.

​

I can sort-of understand the lad's sense of sartorial splendor....but what is up with those shoes?!?!
That's just wrong!

 

[Storm]

But you are withholding the truth, granted you aren't lying.

True. I also withhold the truth by not letting him watch porn. Some things are not for children.

And what if you get, "Why?"

Because they're mean.

 

[tomato1236]

True. I also withhold the truth by not letting him watch porn. Some things are not for children.

You're ignoring your progressive instincts. Children should be allowed to watch porn if that's what makes them happy. If they get nervous when the porn comes up, just blow it off and assume he's a worrier. If anyone has a problem with your approach to parenting, just try to avoid knowing them, and make sure the world knows how intolerant they are. It's none of their beep business.

 

[Storm]

You're ignoring your progressive instincts.

 

[Smoke]

I can sort-of understand the lad's sense of sartorial splendor....but what is up with those shoes?!?!
That's just wrong!

I thought the shoes were bizarre at first, too. Took me a minute to realize they were pink "Daphne shoes" worn over his tennis shoes.

 

[Revoltingest]

I thought the shoes were bizarre at first, too. Took me a minute to realize they were pink "Daphne shoes" worn over his tennis shoes.

I won't ask how you know what they are & what they're called.

 

[Smoke]

I won't ask how you know what they are & what they're called.

I don't think they have a name; we're talking about a cartoon character's shoes. But the costume just has shoe covers, not actual shoes.

 

[dust1n]

True. I also withhold the truth by not letting him watch porn. Some things are not for children.


Because they're mean.

And I feel like the woman faced a similar sort of unthought-out decision and had to come up with some weaselly wording to get around having to tell a five-year-old he is going to get made fun of because parents will think he is gay and it is likely that they reinforced similar sentiments into their children (that god this doesn't appear to be the case). I just don't think this woman has some thought out agenda. She made have some feelings of self glorification or just plain bad language skills, but that hardly counts for an 'agenda' or playing 'political football'.

Anyways, not sure how much further we can really go into this topic, we just about sucked it dry.

 

[DallasApple]

Um maybe there is something wrong with me but calling a 5 year old gay? Is kind of silly.Not that there is anythign wrong with being gay..but hopefully children (hopefully) they dont identify and get labled when they are FIVE as to what sexual orientation they are and get splatterred like that..

That is just not right..

Love

dallas

 

[dust1n]

Um maybe there is something wrong with me but calling a 5 year old gay? Is kind of silly.Not that there is anythign wrong with being gay..but hopefully children (hopefully) they dont identify and get labled when they are FIVE as to what sexual orientation they are and get splatterred like that..

That is just not right..

Love

dallas

The article in questions appears to agree.