My five year-old son is gay

[blackout]

This caught my eye. I assume you mean naivety land.

So, Violet, is it your opinion that children should generally be made aware at an early age that some people are tolerant and others aren't? So that they won't suffer greatly when they grow up unprepared for the actual world out there?

Is that what you mean? Because I find the thought very intriguing and appealing. People are often way too afraid of the real world these days, and all too tragically that results in grown-ups that never learned to be grown-ups in the real world.

I did mean naivety land.

Yes, definately. I am a realist.
I am VERY real with my kids,
it seems a diservice to them
to be any other way.

Why shelter children from the very world they live in?

 

[DarkSun]

If you think that me allowing my son to be a female character for Halloween is somehow going to ‘make’ him gay then you are an idiot. Firstly, what a ridiculous concept. Secondly, if my son is gay, OK. I will love him no less. Thirdly, I am not worried that your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off.

I laughed out loud. What an amazing person.

 

[Renji]

Kids are most of the time adorable, except when they ask you to buy a lot of stuff for them Well, all I can say is that it might be too early to conclude that the kid is gay.

 

[Dezzie]

You can always count on adult women to act like children. It makes me upset to know that three grown women said those things and thought those thoughts about a CHILD. People are so stupid sometimes. It's not that big of a deal. Halloween is supposed to be fun. Who cares what you dress up as! I can't believe that poor boy knew that someone would be mean to him about his costume choice. It's sad that our young children are aware of that.

 

[Midnight Pete]

Some Halloween costumes are more appropriate than others. Some are less awkward than others.

 

[Walkntune]

You can always count on adult women to act like children. It makes me upset to know that three grown women said those things and thought those thoughts about a CHILD. People are so stupid sometimes. It's not that big of a deal. Halloween is supposed to be fun. Who cares what you dress up as! I can't believe that poor boy knew that someone would be mean to him about his costume choice. It's sad that our young children are aware of that.

It was kind of sad when he was coerced into going any ways even being afraid of the consequences. The mother was either really naive or she had another agenda in mind.
Being put in a place of resistance when your not mature enough to handle can have life impacting consequences.I hope she was being really naive and not trying to use her son to make a point. The whole story sounded a little off as the child changed his mind and was afraid of being picked on for the costume that he originally wanted to wear.

Kids are most of the time adorable, except when they ask you to buy a lot of stuff for them Well, all I can say is that it might be too early to conclude that the kid is gay.

I agree and it sounds like this has been manipulated into the story for a point.Not sure of too many kids having sexual awareness at five? Maybe a few who were possibly abused or exposed but way out of the norm.

 

[Renji]

I agree and it sounds like this has been manipulated into the story for a point.Not sure of too many kids having sexual awareness at five?

Yeah, I think not all kids at that age are already aware of that. Ofcourse, they do have an idea that they're a "boy" or a "girl" (because that's what they are told, they are oriented that way and difference in physical appearance), but I don't think that they have much ideas of how these two are different from the other.

 

[Twig pentagram]

...how come?

I don't think it's cool to let young boys dress like girls. When he is old enough to handle his own problems he can dress like whatever he wants.

 

[no-body]

I don't think it's cool to let young boys dress like girls. When he is old enough to handle his own problems he can dress like whatever he wants.

Why not because that's what you see as "normal" ? Other kids would want to beat him up because of what we as a society teach our kids. Gender stereotypes are created and this is a great way to change them.

The only thing that troubles me is that this mother sees the need to label her son so early and equates being gay with wearing feminine clothes.

It would be more likely this kid is transgendered which has nothing to do with sexuality.

Or even more likely he dosen't understand our messed up societies view on gender stereotyping and just wants to dress up as his favorite character so it means absolutely nothing.

 

[Magic Man]

It was kind of sad when he was coerced into going any ways even being afraid of the consequences. The mother was either really naive or she had another agenda in mind.
Being put in a place of resistance when your not mature enough to handle can have life impacting consequences.I hope she was being really naive and not trying to use her son to make a point. The whole story sounded a little off as the child changed his mind and was afraid of being picked on for the costume that he originally wanted to wear.

Here's a thought: Maybe she was just being supportive. Judging from the article, she isn't pushing an agenda or being naive. She's simply telling him it's OK to be whatever he wants to be, and who cares what others think or say.

I'm a little surprised by the reaction here. She's not exploiting anyone, and she's not pushing an agenda, as much as I know right-wingers love that buzz word. Her son wanted to be a female cartoon character, and was very excited about it until he thought about the possibility of being ridiculed. She supported him through the whole thing, trying to instill in him the value of being himself no matter what others think. Good for her. It's no different than her telling him not to hide his sexuality, if he was in high school and knew he was gay.

 

[Storm]

Here's a thought: Maybe she was just being supportive. Judging from the article, she isn't pushing an agenda or being naive. She's simply telling him it's OK to be whatever he wants to be, and who cares what others think or say.

I'm a little surprised by the reaction here. She's not exploiting anyone, and she's not pushing an agenda, as much as I know right-wingers love that buzz word. Her son wanted to be a female cartoon character, and was very excited about it until he thought about the possibility of being ridiculed. She supported him through the whole thing, trying to instill in him the value of being himself no matter what others think. Good for her. It's no different than her telling him not to hide his sexuality, if he was in high school and knew he was gay.

I saw it as her being pushy and utterly failing to prepare the boy for an inevitable reaction. Then she went and plastered the story all over the net with the headline "MY SON IS GAY" to show what a wonderful, tolerant, supportive mom she is. I am not impressed.

 

[Walkntune]

Here's a thought: Maybe she was just being supportive. Judging from the article, she isn't pushing an agenda or being naive. She's simply telling him it's OK to be whatever he wants to be, and who cares what others think or say.

Then why is it posted on the internet? Why is it titled my five year old son is gay? Why was it her point to say it was nobody's business how she raises her son yet post it on the Internet to make it everyones business? No agenda right?

 

[Dezzie]

It was kind of sad when he was coerced into going any ways even being afraid of the consequences. The mother was either really naive or she had another agenda in mind.
Being put in a place of resistance when your not mature enough to handle can have life impacting consequences.I hope she was being really naive and not trying to use her son to make a point. The whole story sounded a little off as the child changed his mind and was afraid of being picked on for the costume that he originally wanted to wear.

You make a great point actually.The story does sound a little off now that you mention it. Why would a five year old be so excited to wear the costume (and be so happy in the picture, assuming that's him) to being embarrassed? Hm... It doesn't really make sense. Seems to me like the Mother possibly said something to her child to make him afraid to wear it.

 

[Magic Man]

I saw it as her being pushy and utterly failing to prepare the boy for an inevitable reaction. Then she went and plastered the story all over the net with the headline "MY SON IS GAY" to show what a wonderful, tolerant, supportive mom she is. I am not impressed.

I'm surprised you saw it that way, and I fail to understand how one would get that out of that story.

Then why is it posted on the internet?

Why not post it on the internet? Is there something wrong with that? She wanted to tell the story. So what?

Why is it titled my five year old son is gay?

I don't know. What does it matter?

Why was it her point to say it was nobody's business how she raises her son yet post it on the Internet to make it everyones business?

Maybe because she wants to tell the story to tell people like the mothers in the story that it's not really their business if she lets her son dress up in a female costume. When she says "It's none of your business", what she's saying is that it's not for those mothers to try to tell her how to raise her son. Instead, they should be more accepting of something that's different. She's not saying no one should know about this.

No agenda right?

Yes, no agenda, you're correct. But that's because I don't consider telling a story to be an example for others to be "an agenda" because I'm not a right-wing Christian.

 

[Storm]

I'm surprised you saw it that way, and I fail to understand how one would get that out of that story.

He changed his mind and she made him go in anyway. She didn't even try to prepare him for the consequences, in fact, she contradicted his wholly accurate instincts. Then, as already mentioned, she posted the story online with a totally inappropriate headline thinking it showed what a great mom she is.

And that's HER side of the story!

 

[Magic Man]

He changed his mind and she made him go in anyway. She didn't even try to prepare him for the consequences, in fact, she contradicted his wholly accurate instincts. Then, as already mentioned, she posted the story online with a totally inappropriate headline thinking it showed what a great mom she is.

And that's HER side of the story!

And what I got from that was that she was trying to tell him "Just be yourself, and who cares what they think?". I saw that as a good thing. I think we're starting with different views of this woman. I just see her having this episode with her son, and being frustrated with the rest of society that doesn't like things that aren't "normal", so she wrote a post about it. I never got the impression she was trying to say "Look at me, and how cool I am".

 

[tomato1236]

.

He is still my son. And he is 5. And I am his mother. And if you have a problem with anything mentioned above, I don’t want to know you.

Wow. Tolerant mom.

1. My son is 5 and goes to a church preschool.

He goes to a church preschool? Is this a religious woman?

2. He has loved Scooby Doo since developing the ability and attention span to sit still long enough to watch it.
3. Halloween is a holiday and its main focus is wearing a costume.
4. My son’s school had the kids dress up, do a little parade, and then change out of costumes for the rest of the party.
5. Boo’s best friend is a little girl
6. Boo has an older sister
7. Boo spends most of his time with me.
8. I am a woman.
9. I am Boo’s mother, not you.

Not sure what the significance of #5-8 are.

Then as we got closer to the actual day, he stared to hem and haw about it. After some discussion it comes out that he is afraid people will laugh at him.

Boy has a concern.

I pointed out that some people will because it is a cute and clever costume.

Mom lies to son. Some might laugh for this reason, but where did she prepare him by telling him he may be right? Wouldn't a mom who's really looking out for him at least let him know that some people aren't nice?

He insists their laughter would be of the ‘making fun’ kind. I blow it off.

Again. You blew off his concern? Come on. Obviously you're aware of reality, even if you don't like it.

Seriously, who would make fun of a child in costume?

Anyone who has ever been a kid should be aware that kids will laugh at you for much, much, more ridiculous things. Like having big ears, or being fat, or for no reason at all. Dressing like a girl is bully-bait. Obviously bullying sucks, but a mom who is aware of how our society presently operate might think twice before putting a target on her son's back.

And then the big day arrives. We get dressed up. We drop Squirt at his preschool and head over to his. Boo doesn’t want to get out of the car. He’s afraid of what people will say and do to him. I convince him to go inside.

Helping kids overcome fear is good. Is that all she was doing?

He halts at the door. He’s visibly nervous. I chalk it up to him being a bit of a worrier in general.

What an idiot. As if she didn't know why he was nervous. Sounds like she's playing stupid to me. Why would she do that?

Seriously, WHO WOULD MAKE FUN OF A CHILD IN A COSTUME ON HALLOWEEN?

Again. Everyone at school. Kids are cruel. Parents can be cruel, too. And apparently, this kid's mom is cruel.

So he walks in. And there were several friends of mine that knew what he was wearing that smiled and waved and gave him high-fives. We walk down the hall to where his classroom is.

That's nice. There are some nice parents.

And that’s where things went wrong. Two mothers went wide-eyed and made faces as if they smelled decomp. And I realize that my son is seeing the same thing I am. So I say, “Doesn’t he look great?” And Mom A says in disgust, “Did he ask to be that?!” I say that he sure did as Halloween is the time of year that you can be whatever it is that you want to be. They continue with their nosy, probing questions as to how that was an option and didn’t I try to talk him out of it. Mom B mostly just stood there in shock and dismay.

I agree that this is unfortunate. People should have tact, and even if they disagree, it really isn't their business. At the same time, I don't see how she could have not fully expected this reaction, if for no other reason, because her son was trying to teach her the nuance of our society prior to exiting the car, and entering the building.

She continued on and on about how mean children could be and how he would be ridiculed.

My response to that: The only people that seem to have a problem with it is their mothers.

From what I've read lately about bullying, kids do not tend to tell their parents about bullying because they feel shame. Looks to me like even if he did, once he was subjected to it, she would just "blow it off".

Another mom pointed out that high schools often have Spirit Days where girls dress like boys and vice versa. I mentioned Powderpuff Games where football players dress like cheerleaders and vice versa. Or every frat boy ever in college (Mom A said that her husband was a frat boy and NEVER dressed like a woman.)

Yeah ok.

But here’s the point, it is none of your damn business.

Fair enough. She's entitled to raise her kid how she wants. She has certainly invited criticism by posting online. Seems she has a need for controversy.

If you think that me allowing my son to be a female character for Halloween is somehow going to ‘make’ him gay then you are an idiot. Firstly, what a ridiculous concept. Secondly, if my son is gay, OK. I will love him no less.

Excellent.

Thirdly, I am not worried that your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off.

Maybe you should be worried. Ninjas assassinate people. This was my favorite part of the whole thing. P.S. I'm going to do everything in my power to help my son grow up to be a ninja. Ninjas are awesome.

If my daughter had dressed as Batman, no one would have thought twice about it. No one.

Well duh. We have to respect equality for women.

But it also was heartbreaking to me that my sweet, kind-hearted five year old was right to be worried. He knew that there were people like A, B, and C. And he, at 5, was concerned about how they would perceive him and what would happen to him.

Oh. So at least she learned from the experience.

Just as it was heartbreaking to those parents that have lost their children recently due to bullying. IT IS NOT OK TO BULLY. Even if you wrap it up in a bow and call it ‘concern.’ Those women were trying to bully me. And my son. MY son.

If they were trying to bully you, you'd be writing this blog from inside a locker with your underwear over your head. They didn't name-call, or belittle, or any of that. They didn't publicly embarrass her. And she had the support of several friends taking her side. Not bullying.

And all I hope for my kids, and yours, and those of Moms ABC, are that they are happy. If a set of purple sparkly tights and a velvety dress is what makes my baby happy one night, then so be it. If he wants to carry a purse, or marry a man, or paint fingernails with his best girlfriend, then ok. My job as his mother is not to stifle that man that he will be, but to help him along his way. Mine is not to dictate what is ‘normal’ and what is not, but to help him become a good person.

I hope I am doing that.

I hope, for Boo's sake, that you're doing that, too.

And my little man worked that costume like no other. He rocked that wig, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

So, so tolerant. So tolerant.



​

 

[Storm]

And what I got from that was that she was trying to tell him "Just be yourself, and who cares what they think?". I saw that as a good thing. I think we're starting with different views of this woman. I just see her having this episode with her son, and being frustrated with the rest of society that doesn't like things that aren't "normal", so she wrote a post about it. I never got the impression she was trying to say "Look at me, and how cool I am".

If she hadn't titled the piece "My 5-year-old is gay," I'd feel a bit more charitable. But I don't think she left much doubt to benefit from.

 

[Magic Man]

If she hadn't titled the piece "My 5-year-old is gay," I'd feel a bit more charitable. But I don't think she left much doubt to benefit from.

I agree that the title was a little weird, but I don't see why that determines your view of your from the beginning. I thought it was weird too when I started reading, but I still saw her just as a woman who was trying to help her son, and got frustrated with the reaction.

 

[monta]

I agree that the title was a little weird, but I don't see why that determines your view of your from the beginning. I thought it was weird too when I started reading, but I still saw her just as a woman who was trying to help her son, and got frustrated with the reaction.

What reaction?