Trailblazer
Veteran Member
I don't encounter anybody in everyday life, except at the grocery store.
I don't think that is a very good place to meet people.
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My thoughts about marriage
- Thread starter Trailblazer
- Start date
I don't think that is a very good place to meet people.
Trailblazer
Veteran Member
I guess I am not motivated enough go to all that trouble of joining clubs just to find a man. I would rather a man just dropped out of the sky, like he did the first time.
I guess I am not motivated enough go to all that trouble of joining clubs just to find a man. I would rather a man just dropped out of the sky, like he did the first time.
It happened once, it could happen again but don't hold your breath waiting
Trailblazer
Veteran Member
I agree, and I am sure they are out there, but finding them is the hard part.
There may be older men with a waning sex drive, but so far I have not encountered any! All the older men on dating sites seem to have high sex drives. Also, I don't want to marry an older man again because I don't want to be widowed again. Once is enough. My late husband was 10 years older than me, and I don't want to marry a man much older than me again. I would prefer a man younger than me as I am very healthy active and physically fit, but I would settle on a man who is my age.
My mother also remained single after she was widowed, but she had three children, and one of us was always nearby. In her later years my brother lived in the same small town so he was always at her condo that she rented. She also had some friends at the pool where she used to swim and she had friends in the local Baha'i community that she was actively involved in.
I am not looking only for companionship, and I would never expect to get from a woman what I would have with a man. Unless there is an element of romance the bond is just not there. I don't mean sex necessarily but it could involve sex if I was in love and the feeling was mutual.
The other thing is that I never had many female friends, and I am much more comfortable with men even as friends than women. That is probably because I had issues with my sister and my mother, but I had no issues with my father. I lived with my sister during part of my college years and I lived with my mother for a long time before I got married, but it was not the same as living with my husband, as there was no emotional connection.
Trailblazer
Veteran Member
I am not holding my breath waiting, but it could happen.
#14 Trailblazer, 57 minutes ago
Stay tuned to this channel. I will know more tomorrow when he calls me from his outpost.
It could lead to nothing or it could lead to something.
Good luck...
Why not? I met my very first lover (a couple of centuries ago) in a shipping office at an airport! And the love of my life, who I've been with for 30 years, over a cryptic crossword puzzle at a bar where a bunch of people left to go to a Christmas party, and didn't invite either of us.
Trailblazer
Veteran Member
It is possible, but what are the chances? I try to maximize my chances by covering all my bases.
Just like a good real estate agent, the more people you show the house to the better the chances of getting a sale from one of those people.
Just stop being calculating about it! Who cares what the chances are -- I don't know how to calculate them, and neither do you. Just leave your mind open, and treat everybody you meet as if they at least deserved a minimum of your respect. If a conversation happens, engage. If somebody drops a package, help them pick it up. If somebody asks you where you're from, tell them -- and then give them a chance and ask them where they're from in return.
Then just let it go where it goes, without pushing, and without running away. Often enough, it won't go anywhere. Sometimes, though, and you never know when, you might find something that tickles your fancy, that makes you want to ask another question, or find a way to run into one another again.
You know, when I met my love 30 years ago, I had decided that my "married life" was over -- I'd given up, and didn't want to try anymore. The only thing that allowed it to happen for me was that I just didn't reject what was happening when it was happening. It took us a while, but one day we discovered that we really liked being around each other, and then...welcome to today, 30 years later.
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Exaltist Ethan
Bridging the Gap Between Believers and Skeptics
@Trailblazer
Honestly, everything you just listed are things I want out of life too. And I'm very sympathetic to the Baha'i Faith. If you weren't twice my age I'd ask you out on a date or something. You are a wonderful person with a lot to share and offer to this community. Remember though, a lot of things that you can find in a man you can find in other places too, especially if you are looking for spiritual kinship.
Honestly, everything you just listed are things I want out of life too. And I'm very sympathetic to the Baha'i Faith. If you weren't twice my age I'd ask you out on a date or something. You are a wonderful person with a lot to share and offer to this community. Remember though, a lot of things that you can find in a man you can find in other places too, especially if you are looking for spiritual kinship.
Trailblazer
Veteran Member
Thanks for your kind sentiments and sharing... I always assume that nobody wants what I want unless they share.@Trailblazer
Honestly, everything you just listed are things I want out of life too. And I'm very sympathetic to the Baha'i Faith. If you weren't twice my age I'd ask you out on a date or something. You are a wonderful person with a lot to share and offer to this community. Remember though, a lot of things that you can find in a man you can find in other places too, especially if you are looking for spiritual kinship.
Yes, I have found spiritual kinship in many people, but I am more looking for someone who will be here for me at my side through thick and thin. I had that once till he passed on. Whether I will ever have that again is in the hands of God and fate.
It seems to me that you want a roommate and friend, not a lover and partner.
Nothing wrong with that, just make sure you're looking for what you want in the right places.
Online dating won't get you that.
Nothing wrong with that, just make sure you're looking for what you want in the right places.
Online dating won't get you that.
Exaltist Ethan
Bridging the Gap Between Believers and Skeptics
You're a widow? Then, according to the Baha'i Faith, won't you reunite with your ex-partner in the Abhá Kingdom? I don't think you have anything to worry about honestly.
Trailblazer
Veteran Member
I do not just want a roommate. If I wanted that I could run an ad.
I want a partner and a friend, and possibly a lover if I am in love.
Online dating may or may not get me that. Stay tuned to the Trailblazer channel.
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Trailblazer
Veteran Member
Yes, that is what I believe happens but that does not mean widows don't get remarried.
And I might not have anything to worry about if I lived in a retirement home instead of a huge house with 8 cats!
Incidentally, a few months ago, when I thought I might be getting remarried, I wrote a post about Baha'i marriage (and what might happen in the Abha Kingdom if a widow or widower remarries), so if that situation comes up again I might post that on a new thread.
I do not just want a roommate. If I anted that I could run an ad.
I want a partner and a friend, and possibly a lover if I am in love.
Online dating may or may not get me that. Stay tuned to the Trailblazer channel.
Fair enough, I don't always catch all subtext. That was just what I gathered from what you wrote, but obviously you know you better.
Alien826
No religious beliefs
I know, I know. It takes me forever to finish those cryptic puzzles too.
stvdv
Veteran Member
You look in the wrong place. Dating sites
IF God is your sole goal and desire
THEN God will provide what is best for you
Trust Him to handle this in His Time
Patience is the only virtue you need in this
7 years already!!
I remember writing some weird little story as a wedding present...lol.
Not the sort of thing I can find time for these days!!
I guess I am not motivated enough go to all that trouble of joining clubs just to find a man. I would rather a man just dropped out of the sky, like he did the first time.
Skydiving club, then??