Non-Christians only: Seeking advise for helping a Christian friend

[Evangelicalhumanist]

My own humble opinion -- if she's calling on "spirits" in a sceance, and needs prayer for protection by God, she's really not quite the Christian you thought she was. This would fall under the category of witchcraft, which is Christianity enjoins against.

 

[Sgt. Pepper]

+1 on this. @Sgt. Pepper , would it bother you if your friend prayed silently to themself? Maybe there's a compromise solution?

She told me in person, "I know that you're not a Christian anymore, but I'm going to ask everyone to hold hands and pray to God for protection before the séance and after it's over, and I may even pray during the séance if I feel it's necessary." And being an empath, I know that she isn't willing to compromise with me on that. I don't know if I should ask her and the others to pray in silence or not.

 

[Sgt. Pepper]

My own humble opinion -- if she's calling on "spirits" in a sceance, and needs prayer for protection by God, she's really not quite the Christian you thought she was. This would fall under the category of witchcraft, which is Christianity enjoins against.

Actually, I know quite a few Christians who are spiritualists and believe that earthbound spirits are real and can communicate and interact with the living either through a psychic medium like myself or through other ways that I described in my original post.

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

You (reasonably) ask that those of us who think seances are silly shelve that discussion, and yet you seem unwilling to shelve your discomfort. At the same time, your friend does not seem to be sufficiently concerned about that discomfort.

Perhaps the two of you should focus more on evaluating how and why you prioritize your relationship.

 

[dybmh]

She told me in person, "I know that you're not a Christian anymore, but I'm going to ask everyone to hold hands and pray to God for protection before the séance and after it's over, and I may even pray during the séance if I feel it's necessary." And being an empath, I know that she isn't willing to compromise with me on that. I don't know if I should ask her and the others to pray in silence or not.

OK. Well, I wouldn't feel comfortable in that situation either. Seems like there's no compromise. I'm sorry to hear that.

 

[Sgt. Pepper]

Personally, I would step back. It seems to be far more trouble than it's worth. I wouldn't be against lying in this case either, like saying you're ill, or have other commitments. But I'm just a stranger on line, and not privy to the details or your relationship.

I tell her the truth if I decide to back out of participating in the séance.

 

[The Hammer]

Would having her change the name from "God" to Yahweh, or Jesus be better? Then you can think of any other names God/dess that you are willing to have assist or protect you, considering the amount of distress seances seem to cause you?

 

[Sgt. Pepper]

I agree with the majority.

I think that by making that promise, you've done the equivalent of signing a contract with no quid pro quo - a promise with nothing in return. As I understand the law, such agreements are unenforceable. I don't know if you consider that relevant here or not.

Do you feel that you can you tell her that you changed your mind, perhaps at the urging of the spirits, or do you feel that that's no longer an option for you?

Here's my suggestion: If you feel like you must let her pray during your seance, ask her to do it from her home. If you have promised to let her be there, have her go into another room, close the door, and pray silently. If you feel like you have committed to allowing her to pray visibly during your seance, you're stuck between giving her what she wants or welching on your promise. Under no circumstances should she be allowed to disrupt the proceedings, and her very presence visibly praying there does that.

The problem is, there are spirits who don't take kindly to being interrupted, and I'm concerned that her stopping the séance to pray for protection will offend the spirits, and they will either leave or make their displeasure known. If I happen to channel a spirit (they have to have my permission to use me as a vessel), then the spirit might take the opportunity to use me against her and the others.

 

[Sgt. Pepper]

Would having her change the name from "God" to Yahweh, or Jesus be better? Then you can think of any other names God/dess that you are willing to have assist or protect you, considering the amount of distress seances seem to cause you?

I don't know if she would be willing to compromise like that. I could sense that she was serious and she wasn't willing to budge on it.

 

[The Hammer]

I don't know if she would be willing to compromise like that. I could sense that she was serious and she wasn't willing to budge on it.

Fair enough. I know many people use God/Yahweh/Jesus as synonyms, so I was hoping she was a person like that .

Maybe it is best you didn't participate. No need to put yourself into a situation you aren't comfortable with.

 

[Sgt. Pepper]

Fair enough. I know many people use God/Yahweh/Jesus as synonyms, so I was hoping she was a person like that .

Maybe it is best you didn't participate. No need to put yourself into a situation you aren't comfortable with.

I feel uneasy about wanting to back out after I gave her word, but then again, I know that I will be uncomfortable if she prays before, during, and after the séance. I'm also aware that there are spirits who might be offended by the interruption or by the praying itself.

 

[The Hammer]

I feel uneasy about wanting to back out after I gave her word, but then again, I know that I will be uncomfortable if she prays before, during, and after the séance. I'm also aware that there are spirits who might be offended by the interruption or by the praying itself.

Could she do it silently? Or does she want it to be out loud with the group? Maybe she is willing to keep it to a personal thing?

If this is someone unwilling to compromise with you, I'd be wary.

Edit: Looks like I echoed some sentiments you already answered. I'm still of the opinion that putting yourself into an uncomfortable position is not the right move. But you do want you think is appropriate here.

 

[Sgt. Pepper]

You (reasonably) ask that those of us who think seances are silly shelve that discussion, and yet you seem unwilling to shelve your discomfort. At the same time, your friend does not seem to be sufficiently concerned about that discomfort.

Perhaps the two of you should focus more on evaluating how and why you prioritize your relationship.

I'm aware that there are people on RF who don't believe in the existence of earthbound spirits, so it stands to reason that they would think a séance is silly. As I said in my OP, my thread isn't the place to discuss or debate whether these spirits are real or not. I said, "I don't know if you personally believe in the paranormal (a haunting of earthbound human spirits, a.k.a. ghosts, in a specific location) or not, but my thread isn't the place to discuss it or debate it with me or with anyone else. Therefore, I will ask that you please refrain from arguing against believing in the paranormal and believing that the spirits of the dead can haunt places or people and can speak with the living, and instead focus on the uncomfortable situation that I'm about to explain in the rest of my post."

 

[beenherebeforeagain]

But I gave her my word before she told me that she wants to pray to God for protection during the séance.

So, she changed the agreement conditions, it appears to me

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

I'm aware that there are people on RF who don't believe in the existence of earthbound spirits, so it stands to reason that they would think a séance is silly. As I said in my OP, my thread isn't the place to discuss or debate whether these spirits are real or not. I said, "I don't know if you personally believe in the paranormal (a haunting of earthbound human spirits, a.k.a. ghosts, in a specific location) or not, but my thread isn't the place to discuss it or debate it with me or with anyone else. Therefore, I will ask that you please refrain from arguing against believing in the paranormal and believing that the spirits of the dead can haunt places or people and can speak with the living, and instead focus on the uncomfortable situation that I'm about to explain in the rest of my post."

What does that have to do with my post?

 

[Sgt. Pepper]

What does that have to do with my post?

It seems that I misunderstood your post, so I apologize.

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

It seems that I misunderstood your post, so I apologize.

Not a problem. I sometimes misunderstand my posts as well.

 

[Sgt. Pepper]

So, she changed the agreement conditions, it appears to me

Yes, she did. She never said a word about praying to God for protection when she first asked me and I agreed to help her.

 

[Audie]

But I gave her my word before she told me that she wants to pray to God for protection during the séance.

That voids the contract

 

[sun rise]

She practically pleaded with me to help her, so I reluctantly agreed. She calls and tells me about the articles she's read about this haunting or that haunting and when we're out somewhere together, she's always asking me about the spirits I see around us.

What you write about her makes ME very nervous. Something is off here and I hope you take care of yourself and not be sucked into what's going on with her.