YmirGF
Bodhisattva in Recovery
Well, I got my wish. Mom passed away at approximately 6:45 pm (Pacific).
I still find it was all so amazingly fast. I took her to her doctor because here legs were so swollen less than 2 weeks ago. My guess is that he took one look at her and could see what was going on, as less than 5 minutes into the visit he said she needed to be in the hospital. I took the trip by ferry yesterday to see her and she was completely unresponsive. I had actually decided that I wasn't going to go in to see her tomorrow. Now she has eased my burden. So sweet... always thinking of others... to the end... or the new beginning.
I'm strangley calm, much like when I am very angry, only without the anger, of course. I took the news rather matter of factly and thanked the nurse for calling so promptly. I began making calls about 20 minutes later. I feel no sense of grief or a need to grieve. I'm good with all that I have done and cherish the last few years as her primary care giver. The dear bird was worth it and it was an honor to help in whatever way I could.
In the weirdest way, I feel something missing, but also feel mildly happy. My mind is at peace and I am so glad I'm not sitting here fretting over what I could have done better, or could have said, or should have done. Life is so sweet and strange at times.
I want to thank everyone for their kind words and wishes. You folks really helped me keep it all in perspective. Thanks for that RF.
I still find it was all so amazingly fast. I took her to her doctor because here legs were so swollen less than 2 weeks ago. My guess is that he took one look at her and could see what was going on, as less than 5 minutes into the visit he said she needed to be in the hospital. I took the trip by ferry yesterday to see her and she was completely unresponsive. I had actually decided that I wasn't going to go in to see her tomorrow. Now she has eased my burden. So sweet... always thinking of others... to the end... or the new beginning.
I'm strangley calm, much like when I am very angry, only without the anger, of course. I took the news rather matter of factly and thanked the nurse for calling so promptly. I began making calls about 20 minutes later. I feel no sense of grief or a need to grieve. I'm good with all that I have done and cherish the last few years as her primary care giver. The dear bird was worth it and it was an honor to help in whatever way I could.
In the weirdest way, I feel something missing, but also feel mildly happy. My mind is at peace and I am so glad I'm not sitting here fretting over what I could have done better, or could have said, or should have done. Life is so sweet and strange at times.
I want to thank everyone for their kind words and wishes. You folks really helped me keep it all in perspective. Thanks for that RF.
