Once a cheater always a cheater

[anonymous9887]

My wife and I were having a discussion on the statement "once a cheater always a cheater". Do you believe this is true or false. Is there a possibility of a man who cheated before to now be faithful even if one man out there exist. I say there has to be at least one person can remain faithful after cheating.

Thoughts and opinions.
I agree your more likely to do it again, but it doesn't mean necessarily you will do it again.

 

[Godobeyer]

My wife and I were having a discussion on the statement "once a cheater always a cheater". Do you believe this is true or false. Is there a possibility of a man who cheated before to now be faithful even if one man out there exist. I say there has to be at least one person can remain faithful after cheating.

Thoughts and opinions.
I agree your more likely to do it again, but it doesn't mean necessarily you will do it again.

Cheater could become faithfull , and faithfull could become cheater , cheater could stay cheater , faithfull could stay faifull

that's it .

 

[anonymous9887]

Cheater could become faithfull , and faithfull could become cheater , cheater could stay cheater , faithfull could stay faifull

that's it .

Most women seem to imply based on experience that the behavior will be repeated. Have you seen it for a fact, that a cheater has become faithful?

 

[Godobeyer]

Most women seem to imply based on experience that the behavior will be repeated. Have you seen it for a fact, that a cheater has become faithful?

thats not necessray .
the behavior could stop or continous (repreated) , that's individaul choice/act .

 

[Quintessence]

Considering humans are not disposed towards obligate monogamy in the first place... well... interpret that as you will. There is wisdom in accepting that people will come and go from your life. Some might stay for a long time. Others won't. Either way, the idea of owning a person is generally considered rather questionable today.

 

[anonymous9887]

thats not necessray .
the behavior could stop or continous (repreated) , that's individaul choice/act .

What your saying is men have the option, what is being debated is have men taken the option of be faithful what evidence is there to support that a man has taken the initiative or hasn't.

 

[anonymous9887]

Considering humans are not disposed towards obligate monogamy in the first place... well... interpret that as you will. There is wisdom in accepting that people will come and go from your life. Some might stay for a long time. Others won't. Either way, the idea of owning a person is generally considered rather questionable today.

Ok but do you think there is at least one person that has remained faithful after cheating once?

 

[Jumi]

Ok but do you think there is at least one person that has remained faithful after cheating once?

Yes. People can change for better or worse.

 

[Sunstone]

My wife and I were having a discussion on the statement "once a cheater always a cheater". Do you believe this is true or false. Is there a possibility of a man who cheated before to now be faithful even if one man out there exist. I say there has to be at least one person can remain faithful after cheating.

Thoughts and opinions.
I agree your more likely to do it again, but it doesn't mean necessarily you will do it again.

I think if someone is married for twenty or more years and only cheats once or twice, they're doing pretty good -- given that we as a species don't seem to be built for more than five to seven years of monogamy with any one partner. At least, that's what I've been told.

 

[anonymous9887]

Yes. People can change for better or worse.

Based off what evidence are you basing your response?

 

[Demonslayer]

Ok but do you think there is at least one person that has remained faithful after cheating once?

Yes, of course, some people turn over a new leaf in life.

I think is a general statement that is probably true in a lot of cases. If a man cheats once that means he was able to overcome any guilt or bad feelings associated with the cheating that might have prevented other guys from cheating in the first place. Someone who doesn't feel that guilt doens't have as much preventing him from cheating as the guy who feels great guilt. So it's probably easier for the non-guilt feeling guy to cheat, and then do it again later.

But of course people have ultimate control over their behavior so sure, people can cheat and then decide to not cheat going forwards.

 

[Quintessence]

Ok but do you think there is at least one person that has remained faithful after cheating once?

Honestly, the whole discussion rests on loaded terminology and expectations about interpersonal relationships that I simply do not share. I don't stuff people into the category of "cheater" in the first place because I hold no expectation that a partner of mine only has to have sex with me. For so much emphasis to be placed on who has sex with whom is really very silly to me.

I suppose essentially what I'm suggesting is that instead of putting these labels to people, we accept them for who they are. Unconditional love and acceptance is what makes relationships work, sexual or otherwise.

 

[anonymous9887]

Yes, of course, some people turn over a new leaf in life.

I think is a general statement that is probably true in a lot of cases. If a man cheats once that means he was able to overcome any guilt or bad feelings associated with the cheating that might have prevented other guys from cheating in the first place. Someone who doesn't feel that guilt doens't have as much preventing him from cheating as the guy who feels great guilt. So it's probably easier for the non-guilt feeling guy to cheat, and then do it again later.

But of course people have ultimate control over their behavior so sure, people can cheat and then decide to not cheat going forwards.

Well again this again goes to splitting hairs, because is there any observations that can prove any claim we are making.
In other words what is our opinion based on?

 

[anonymous9887]

Honestly, the whole discussion rests on loaded terminology and expectations about interpersonal relationships that I simply do not share. I don't stuff people into the category of "cheater" in the first place because I hold no expectation that a partner of mine only has to have sex with me. For so much emphasis to be placed on who has sex with whom is really very silly to me.

I suppose essentially what I'm suggesting is that instead of putting these labels to people, we accept them for who they are. Unconditional love and acceptance is what makes relationships work, sexual or otherwise.

Well I have to admit your answer makes sense.
But I'm sure if you have a wife and she cheated on you, you would be very upset.

 

[Jumi]

Based off what evidence are you basing your response?

Just my experience with people.

Take a look at this:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/surprised-love/201201/once-cheater-always-cheater-maybe-not

 

[columbus]

Ok but do you think there is at least one person that has remained faithful after cheating once?

Sure, but they are still a cheater.
No, once a cheater always a cheater. You might be faithful from now until you die, but if you have ever cheated you are a cheater.
I've never cheated on anyone. I've had people in my life who thought I had made agreements that I actually had not. That is not the same. Only twice have I had a partner with whom I had made such a promise. The first one dumped me. The second I have been with for a couple of decades, and I have never done anything I couldn't tell him about afterwards.
I don't want to be a cheater, so I don't cheat. It becomes a permanent part of you and I don't want that to be a part of me.
Tom

 

[Nyiix]

My wife and I were having a discussion on the statement "once a cheater always a cheater". Do you believe this is true or false. Is there a possibility of a man who cheated before to now be faithful even if one man out there exist. I say there has to be at least one person can remain faithful after cheating.

Thoughts and opinions.
I agree your more likely to do it again, but it doesn't mean necessarily you will do it again.

My opinion is that if someone cheats my respect for that person is gone, and won't come back. I do believe that a person who cheated can become faithful; but also know that I personally would never be with someone who ever cheated. It is the lowest one can sink. I also say that a man who cheats is not a real man. Just horrible.

 

[Sunstone]

You might be faithful from now until you die, but if you have ever cheated you are a cheater.

Interesting philosophy. And not just a little bit amusing.

 

[columbus]

Interesting philosophy. And not just a little bit amusing.

Maybe I am just not religious enough.
Apparently the correct rituals can erase history.

But this seems extremely simple to me. Either you have or you have not. It doesn't make you superior, necessarily. Nothing like that.
But a fact is a fact. If you have cheated then you have cheated. A cheater is someone who has cheated.
Simple.
Tom

 

[Theweirdtophat]

Some can change but usually once the person cheats and the person accepts them once again, they end up cheating again and repeat the cycle. A cheater is someone with little to no self control, is a liar and can't be trusted with many things. I don't know why people would want to be with a cheater once again. If they ever cheat, I'm just breaking up and finding someone else. They aren't the only person on the entire planet. You have to be a pretty big douche to cheat on someone at all. I mean it really does hurt. If someone cared that much they wouldn't cheat to begin with. It's better to just break up with them because 9 times out of 10, they are going to cheat again. I've seen it too many times.