This is just a rant, so be forewarned. 
I'm the youngest of 5 surviving siblings, with 12 years between me and the next youngest (a sister). A brother between us by 6 years each died at 7 months old. My mother never really got over it. Anyway, my siblings in order of descending age are brother 75, brother 73, sister 71, and sister 68. Then there is me at 56.
I was really pretty much raised as an only child because by the time I was 11 or 12 everyone was married with their own kids. My brothers and sisters were made to be more like aunts and uncles to me by my parents. So I think you can understand why I don't feel like I am part of "that group".
I have always felt my sisters harbored a little resentment and jealousy because I was the "spoiled brat", as it was often put. Suffice to say that all the judgements they've made about me over the years have been visited upon them with their own kids and in their own lives. Then there is the being called weird or openly mocked for my beliefs and activities, brushed off with "oh lighten up" or "get over it". OK, I may be a little off the beam by some standards.
I don't think it's too hard to understand that I really don't want anything to do with my family if at all possible. I have my own life with its own problems, as does everyone else. Here's another kicker... I really have nothing to talk with them about. I don't want to hear gossip about Cousin M or Aunt E; I don't want to hear about my nephew's alcoholic ex-wife and the child custody battle; I don't want to re-hash what we went through with my parents (they were very bitter, angry, self-centered people). I've tried very hard to put all that behind me. Oh yeah, I've talked all this out in therapy and I'm pretty OK with it.
So... Christmas means almost nothing to me. I've stopped sending Christmas cards, the last time all five of us were together was last June. I've spoken to one sister only once in that time, she called to tell me our uncle died. I didn't send any cards or call anyone on Christmas. We stopped having family Christmases years ago when their grandkids came along. I caught a raft of **** one year for being invited to another Christmas Eve dinner ("Christmas Eve is family!") but when a nephew and his wife broke the tradition it was "well, you know, they have families now".
Today I got an e-mail from the younger sister (who has a direct line to the village smithy to have her tongue sharpened on a regular basis) saying "Hey - what the ****?!!!!!!!!" I'm not looking to start WW III, so I just brushed it off with John Lennon's comment "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans." That will not be sufficient, and I know I will get a further tongue-lashing. :run:
I'm the youngest of 5 surviving siblings, with 12 years between me and the next youngest (a sister). A brother between us by 6 years each died at 7 months old. My mother never really got over it. Anyway, my siblings in order of descending age are brother 75, brother 73, sister 71, and sister 68. Then there is me at 56.
I was really pretty much raised as an only child because by the time I was 11 or 12 everyone was married with their own kids. My brothers and sisters were made to be more like aunts and uncles to me by my parents. So I think you can understand why I don't feel like I am part of "that group".
I have always felt my sisters harbored a little resentment and jealousy because I was the "spoiled brat", as it was often put. Suffice to say that all the judgements they've made about me over the years have been visited upon them with their own kids and in their own lives. Then there is the being called weird or openly mocked for my beliefs and activities, brushed off with "oh lighten up" or "get over it". OK, I may be a little off the beam by some standards.
I don't think it's too hard to understand that I really don't want anything to do with my family if at all possible. I have my own life with its own problems, as does everyone else. Here's another kicker... I really have nothing to talk with them about. I don't want to hear gossip about Cousin M or Aunt E; I don't want to hear about my nephew's alcoholic ex-wife and the child custody battle; I don't want to re-hash what we went through with my parents (they were very bitter, angry, self-centered people). I've tried very hard to put all that behind me. Oh yeah, I've talked all this out in therapy and I'm pretty OK with it.
So... Christmas means almost nothing to me. I've stopped sending Christmas cards, the last time all five of us were together was last June. I've spoken to one sister only once in that time, she called to tell me our uncle died. I didn't send any cards or call anyone on Christmas. We stopped having family Christmases years ago when their grandkids came along. I caught a raft of **** one year for being invited to another Christmas Eve dinner ("Christmas Eve is family!") but when a nephew and his wife broke the tradition it was "well, you know, they have families now".
Today I got an e-mail from the younger sister (who has a direct line to the village smithy to have her tongue sharpened on a regular basis) saying "Hey - what the ****?!!!!!!!!" I'm not looking to start WW III, so I just brushed it off with John Lennon's comment "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans." That will not be sufficient, and I know I will get a further tongue-lashing. :run:
