Opponents of Polyamory -- Present Your Arguments

[Sunstone]

Nope. We've all been saying "different strokes for different folks", although we personally prefer negotiable boundaries in our own relationships.

Funny, that doesn't sound at all like anything I'm being told you're saying. Could it be you know what you're saying even better than do your detractors? Oh, of course not! Whatever got into me there for a moment?

 

[Sunstone]

You send them to religious schools to get indoctrinated, give them an enemy, then guide them into blowing themselves with suicide vests or jets in order to strike down their enemy for god and secure a place in eternal paradise.

Problem solved! And solved in a way that preserves traditional family values, too.

 

[Nymphs]

I could care less.

You say this, but you keep talking about it. That means you have a stake in it or care more than you are saying.

You seem to not understand that it cant be forced on us to accept as normal to US.

Never said that. You did. :no:

As I said before, if you dont wish to here opposing views, dont keep creating threads and play victim to everyone who disagrees with you.

I can't disagree with someone? Please. If you have an actual argument, present it and we'll go at it.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

Problem solved! And solved in a way that preserves traditional family values, too.

It's all very pious, moral, and traditional.

 

[Nymphs]

Well, tbh, I don't totally understand all forms of polyamoury but I'm not against it. As long as no one makes me feel guilty about being mono, then all is fine. I don't see a reason to be against people loving each other. I'd like it if it more things became no big deal, nothing to talk about. Sometimes I feel like social norms are chocking.

I think I understand closed polyamoury better than open type relationships... I guess it's because I value fierce loyalty and commitment, rather than lose and fleeting relationships. I also prefer to feel some level of security and safety.

With my current relationship, poly is out of question. I don't even want to be with someone else anyway (tbh I haven't even found anyone else to be attracted to). We went through a lot and most people would have found it too hard, it was all worth it. I think it made our relationship really solid. I want us to be that couple that grows old together and still love each other after that many years.

But if I was single, and say, had two friends and we all fell in love then decided on a closed relationship with all three of us, then that makes sense to me. I don't have an issue understanding this sort of scenario.

Like I said, it's open ones that I have difficulty relating to. I also don't understand feeling attraction to many people. I can count on one hand the amount of people I feel attracted to and on one finger the amount I felt romantic love for.

That's lovely to hear. I'm glad you feel that way. I'm a total romantic love polyamorous person -- even though I've had open relationship type experiences in the past.

 

[Nymphs]

I state for the record that I honor mono folk as I do heterosexuals. I back off if I get vibes that what I do and what I want isn't for them. I don't want others doing the same to me, so I do likewise.

Same here.

I just don't like being told that I'm sinful, evil, horrible, etc. for being polyamorous. Heck, everyone else I know in this world is monogamous save a handful of people. I'm happy for them.

 

[Leftimies]

again, read the title, read what is said by those who are in polyamorous relationships, they are indirectly claiming polyamorous is the way to go and are incapable of the errors that one one one have.
It is them setting up strawman arguments.
They claim one on one all want to cheat and we should all just be open and accept polyamorous relationships when getting married.
Sort of like a safe fail, if you will.

That is what I am learning from all these threads the OP keeps creating.

To be fair, I for one claimed quite frankly that monogamous relationship is the way to go, with quite strong worded arguments. I still hold that view and will not back out on it.

A lot of people throw many kinds of claims around. To say its just the polyamorists would be a lie. I perceive their model as flawed, they perceive mine as flawed. But neither forces oneself upon the other, so there is no problem, right?

I think you are reading into this with too much presupposed context.

 

[Nymphs]

I honestly think some people may just be built differently and that doesn't bother me.

I agree.

I'm not as naturally polyamorous as my husband, and I know and understand that. I struggle with jealousy, he doesn't. I struggle with understanding it, he doesn't. But, my struggles are getting less and less as we work together and communicate.

It doesn't bother me that people are monogamous. Hell, be as monogamous as you like as long as you are happy.

 

[Nymphs]

while polyamory doesn't add anything to the table and, rather, actually takes away from the uniqueness of duality that is relationship between two people.

I'd disagree. In my experience, it has added so much more to mine and my husbands relationship. I'm stunned with how much more I can love and feel now.

 

[Nymphs]

Just letting others know that I am done here.

I'll believe that when I see it.

 

[Nymphs]

Trust, loyalty, mutual admiration and intimacy are basis for successful love. All of them are compromised at the advent of more people entering.

How so?

I've actually seen most of those things rise in my relationship since we decided to become openly polyamorous.

 

[Nymphs]

Being put on ignore is far from meaning one defeated the others argument.
Only a child would find logic in that twisted reasoning.

I thought you were done?

Just letting others know that I am done here.

 

[Nymphs]

That being said, I am not going to go all bombastic on you and condemn you.

I appreciate it.

 

[Leftimies]

I'd disagree. In my experience, it has added so much more to mine and my husbands relationship. I'm stunned with how much more I can love and feel now.

All things are impermanent. The more factors you include into a relationship, the more you expose it to the currents of change and fluctuation. Relationship of two is more easily controlled than the relationship of three or four.

Well, we could argue forever I suppose different people have different comfort zones, thats all.

 

[columbus]

Here's a question that troubles me. It was raised by Dr. Witte somewhere -- either in his testimony to the Supreme Court or in an interview -- "If polygamy became widespread, what do you do with all those surplus young men who cannot find mates because older, more well established men have more or less monopolized the available women?"

We have centuries worth of experience to answer that question.

You start a war.

Tom

 

[Nymphs]

I haven't noticed anyone claiming that. Are you sure you are not -- either unconsciously or purposely -- creating a straw man?

Oh yes, he is. Very clearly.

 

[Sunstone]

"It's as simple as that."

Seems I hear that often these days.

 

[Nymphs]

It's religious polygamy specifically that gets my tits in a tangle. They strongly tend to be fraught with coercion, which takes them out of my general philosophy that what consenting adults get up to is their own business.

Yeah, I'm not a fan of it either.

 

[kashmir]

You send them to religious schools to get indoctrinated, give them an enemy, then guide them into blowing themselves with suicide vests or jets in order to strike down their enemy for god and secure a place in eternal paradise.

yet I am the one creating strawmanning?
WTf do terrorists have to do with this OP?

 

[Nymphs]

they are indirectly claiming polyamorous is the way

No I am not.

You have no proof.

None, whatsoever.

Nice try.