Oral Sex is "best"

[Lycan]

But, the reality is in many homes, the parents are divorced and too busy with their own lives to be parents to their children

Being divorced does not make you a bad parent.

 

[BUDDY]

How in the world do these children get themselves into situations where they "think" oral sex is okay because it is safer? At 14 years old they are too young to deal with and understand that sexual activity, whatever it is, is inherently unsafe behavior. They do not have the personal relationship skills or the maturity to understand the consequences of their actions. How in the world do they even know about oral sex. When I was fourteen, I didn't have a clue. This is just so sad, I can't express it properly.

 

[Yerda]

At 14 years old they are too young to deal with and understand that sexual activity, whatever it is, is inherently unsafe behavior.

I'm 21 and I can't understand how sex is inherently dangerous.

I've strained a couple of muscles, burnt my knees once or twice, but fear more for my safety when I cross the road than when I jump into bed.

 

[Lookingformeaning]

"best" is spending time with the one you love to me... anything else that happens is just a bonus

(I do prefer the sex bonus the most though... hehe)

I think the best is spending time with the one you love too, but make sure the one you love feels the same way. And if you have any doubts dont do anything with that person. (believe me I learned from this recently lol)

I prefer the sex bonus the most too....:woohoo: :jam:

 

[BUDDY]

Unprotected sex, whether oral or otherwise, is dangerous if you don't know your partner and have not been checked for STD's. It's a fact of life so deal with it. The sooner we do, the sooner we will understand that sex isn't something that is meant to be a fun passtime, like playing a video game, but is meant as a special bond between two people who love each other and are committed to their partner.

 

[ness]

The thought of a 14 year old having unprotected sex is considered dangerous as it should be. Wether it be a "rainbow party " or just plain old intercourse. Without protection its extrememley dangerous, STD's now a days can often harm a womans ability to get pregnant let alone carry a child to full term, Herpes lasts a lifetime, and AIDS kills you slowly and painfully.

So although it isnt as dangerous as walking down the road and getting hit by a car... a 14 yr old is more likely to catch somethin. I had a talk with a friend of mine today she just found out she has a "problem" with her cervix .. (sorry to be blunt)
She is my age -early 30's
The only reason she went to the dr and had a check up was because she caught him fooling around on her. This isnt a child this is a grown woman. She spent today at the dr's office getting a million and one tests done to ensure her health.
So is it dangerous for kids to be having these little parties and what not... and not caring about the reprocussions of UNprotected oral sex???
You bet it is.

 

[Yerda]

Unprotected sex, whether oral or otherwise, is dangerous if you don't know your partner and have not been checked for STD's. It's a fact of life so deal with it.

Yes, I would agree. Sex is not inherently dangerous though, is it?

sex isn't something that is meant to be a fun passtime, like playing a video game, but is meant as a special bond between two people who love each other and are committed to their partner.

I think sex is 'meant' as our means of reproducing. That it can create special bonds between two people (or more) is great. That I can have sex like others play video games is also good. There are no rules and regulations written on my genitals.

 

[CaptainXeroid]

Being divorced does not make you a bad parent.

Reading back, I don't see that I said that it did.

Now, before you say it, of course you can find examples of chaotic children of happily married parents and well-adjusted children of divorce. Statistically, as the divorce rate has gone up, the age at which children first experiment with sex, drugs, and other age inappropriate behaviour has gone down. The reality is that the two are not unrelated, and citing an exception does not disprove the rule.

*edit note - Sorry for the typo...it really changed the meaning.

 

[ness]

I am the product of divorced parents and I think I turned out pretty good... However I knew that having sex with every "dude" I met was dangerous....

I grew up in the 80's I listened to the news and my sex ed teacher as well as my parents.

Divorced or not divorced, Not taking the time to discuss this matter with your children only proves to them that it isnt as big a deal as it really is.

 

[Melody]

all putting on different shades of lipstick and having oral sex with as many boys as they felt like and I suppose the boys were wearing the 'rainbow'

Nine years old? Good grief! Where are the parents?? When my son went to parties at the age of 9 there were always several parents in attendance. I would say that oral sex *is* a test....and the parents have failed it.

 

[Circle_One]

The sooner we do, the sooner we will understand that sex isn't something that is meant to be a fun passtime, like playing a video game, but is meant as a special bond between two people who love each other and are committed to their partner.

What if playing video games just doesn't cut it as a fun enough past time for someone?

Statistically, as the divorce rate has gone up, the age at which children first experiment with sex, drugs, and other are inappropriate behaviour has gone down.

It really bugs me that sex is viewed as "inappropriate behaviour". I agree that having sex so young is pretty disturbing (I have a young son and if he came home at 14 having had sex, I'd probably wipe the floor with him), but I still don't see it as inappropriate behaviour. It's a natural thing and I think if people started treating it more as such and less as a taboo, we'd have a lot less problems. A lot of parents are afraid to talk to their kids about sex because we see it as something bad, something to be ashamed of and we shouldn't. I'm not ashamed of it and I don't think other people should be. I will damn well be talking to my son about sex as soon as I feel he's old enough, but I'm not going to talk about it as if it's something bad and something to be ashamed about. People should be more open about it, IMHO.

 

[Melody]

It really bugs me that sex is viewed as "inappropriate behaviour". I agree that having sex so young is pretty disturbing (I have a young son and if he came home at 14 having had sex, I'd probably wipe the floor with him), but I still don't see it as inappropriate behaviour. It's a natural thing and I think if people started treating it more as such and less as a taboo, we'd have a lot less problems.

I disagree. I believe our teens are much more promiscuous than they were 30 years ago and I believe it's because our society has been teaching our children that it's a natural thing.

I didn't. I didn't sit my boys down for "the talk" when they reached a certain age. I picked teachable moments. When we passed a pair of teenagers doing some heavy necking in the mall, I taught them about intimacy and that it was not a public sport. When a tv show or movie portrayed sex as recreational activity (pair coming home from date and kissing their way through the door which segued into a commercial), I taught them that sex was the ultimate expression of love between two people who loved each other and had made a serious commitment to each other. I also made it a point to tell my sons that before they unzipped their pants, they'd better seriously ask themselves whether this little activity was worth dying for.

And then I made sure I knew where my sons were all the time.

 

[Melody]

So much for hitting preview. I also wanted to say that I *absolutely* find sex an unacceptable behavior for children....and as far as I'm concerned, if they're still in school, still being supported by their parents, and still not able to make legal decisions without their parents....then they are children.

 

[Circle_One]

I didn't. I didn't sit my boys down for "the talk" when they reached a certain age. I picked teachable moments. When we passed a pair of teenagers doing some heavy necking in the mall, I taught them about intimacy and that it was not a public sport. When a tv show or movie portrayed sex as recreational activity (pair coming home from date and kissing their way through the door which segued into a commercial), I taught them that sex was the ultimate expression of love between two people who loved each other and had made a serious commitment to each other. I also made it a point to tell my sons that before they unzipped their pants, they'd better seriously ask themselves whether this little activity was worth dying for.

I think this is a great way to teach your children about it and I commend you for doing it in such a way, rather than just sitting them down, I really do.

I disagree. I believe our teens are much more promiscuous than they were 30 years ago and I believe it's because our society has been teaching our children that it's a natural thing.

That's because it IS a natural thing and I do think it should be treated as such. I don't think it should be treated as something that's bad or dirty or wrong, I really don't.

I also wanted to say that I *absolutely* find sex an unacceptable behavior for children.

I wasn't saying that I find it acceptable for children, and if you took my post that way, it was not my intention. I was merely saying that in and of itself, I don't think sex should be looked at as unacceptable or inappropriate, because I don't think it is either of those things.

 

[Melody]

That's because it IS a natural thing and I do think it should be treated as such. I don't think it should be treated as something that's bad or dirty or wrong, I really don't.
I wasn't saying that I find it acceptable for children, and if you took my post that way, it was not my intention.

Sorry...I did think that's what you were saying. Oops.

On this I do agree with you and my boys were taught that sex is a beautiful thing...between two committed people.

 

[Circle_One]

Sorry...I did think that's what you were saying. Oops.

On this I do agree with you and my boys were taught that sex is a beautiful thing...between two committed people.

Meh, not a problem, I can see how you could have misread my post though, I probably should have clarified my thoughts more

That makes me happy then Melody, your boys are lucky to have someone like you teach them these things. I find there are a lot of parents who take a different standpoint on sex and teach their children it is dirty and wrong and I think this gives children the wrong mindset with regards to it. It's not something to be scared of or disgusted by, IMO.

 

[Melody]

I find there are a lot of parents who take a different standpoint on sex and teach their children it is dirty and wrong and I think this gives children the wrong mindset with regards to it. It's not something to be scared of or disgusted by, IMO.

So true. When my middle son was 6, he started walking around with his hand down the front of his pants. One day I asked him if he had to go to the bathroom and he said "no". I then made the mistake of asking why he was holding himself and he said, "cuz it feels good." Good answer....stupid question.

We then had a chat about how some things are private and perhaps when he feels the urge he should go to his room.

I'm sitting her laughing hysterically because I can still see his innocent little face as he answered me....and my brief stunned silence. I had to leave the room and hide myself in the coat closet so he wouldn't hear me laughing. :biglaugh:

 

[Nick Soapdish]

There is a middle school here in Tucson where the boys had a rating system for how good the girls were at oral sex.

One of the big problems is parents aren't giving their children the guidence they need in a world where we are bombarded with sex in the media and pop-culture. We are witnessing a transformation in our time where family fortitude is being traded for sexual opportunism.

 

[Quoth The Raven]

This is just as bad as the jelly bracelets the girls wear these days they arent for " the look " believe me my daughter was telling me not to long ago that the number of jelly's you wear on your wrist accounts for the number of boys you have either slept with or have had oral sex with.:tsk: ( I remember when I was young those jelly's were just jelly's and had no meaning behind them )

There has always been some sort of 'bracelet code'. You probably just weren't aware of it.

 

[ayani]

i remember back in elementry school, a couple aged 12 and 11 respectivey were notoriously sexually active...

i'm fairly liberal with regards to sexual ethics, but if you're having intercourse before puberty, well, i think something's amiss.