Oral Sex is "best"

[michel]

Ok good arguement but my queastion is.. Where are these children's parents now? Have they not sat their kids down and discussed what it was like in the 80's when AIDS first came about and how it happens?

It is up to every parent it is a responsabilitiy of any parent to sit down and discuss everything about sex with their children. To be honest and forward about the entire subject. If we all did that then maybe their views about "sex" in its entirety would be different.

Hi Ness,
The answer to your question above is easy to answer (From my perspective, here in England). The price of housing + the 'equality' (Girls should be taught to be as interrested in a career as boys - they are NOT tied to a kitchen sink, nor are they simply 'baby making machines') Social trend now means that for the 'intelligent and ambitious couples', Mum hardly sees anything of her children during the week; the children go to nursery as soon as possible. Dad sees them over week ends if he can spare the time. There is no 'role model' in bringing up children now; they are left to socialise with each other in nurseries with little input from parents, who, when they do find 'time' for their children over-compensate their subconscious guilt that they tend to 'go overboard' with their children's demands.

Without being judgemental, merely relating the 'status quo', at the end of the scale are the parents who breed like rabits, have no intention of looking after their children - children are thrown out of the house early in the morning, and allowed in late - from a VERY early age (Because they disturb 'out of work Dad's watching TV' or get under mum's feet).

Then there are those parent who are excellent parents and genuinely try their best - but as (I think it might have been NetDoc) someone said, they don't give you a child bringing up manual - you try your best, but it is not easy.

If only we could have wise heads on young shoulders.

This, in a nutshell, is the Culture of England; does it differ much where you live?

 

[Bastet]

I had a talk with a friend of mine today she just found out she has a "problem" with her cervix .. (sorry to be blunt)
She is my age -early 30's
The only reason she went to the dr and had a check up was because she caught him fooling around on her. This isnt a child this is a grown woman. She spent today at the dr's office getting a million and one tests done to ensure her health.

Please, read up on this before you go jumping to conclusions about the cause of your friend's cervical dysplasia (if that is what you mean by "problem with her cervix"). While HPV seems to be the most common factor, it is by no means the only one. Cervical dysplasia can also be caused by either the woman or her partner smoking, it can be caused by a lack of specific vitamins/minerals in the body, it can be caused by an excess of synthetic estrogen (eg. a long time user (over 5 years) of the contraceptive pill), among other things. Even if HPV is definitely a factor, studies have shown that HPV on its own is not enough to cause dysplasia - one of the other factors must come into play.
Just as a matter of interest, was your friend a virgin when she married? Had she had absolutely NO sexual experience whatsover (including oral sex)? Did you know that condoms do not prevent the spread of HPV? Did you know that you can carry the virus for 20 years before you show any symptoms or it has any effect on your cervix? Does your friend smoke or take oral contraceptives? Does she eat 5 serves of fruit and veg a day? It all counts...
As for her age, dysplasia occurs in females age 15 and over, and most often in those age 25 to 35. I was in my early 20s when I was diagnosed with cervical dysplasia, and I can tell you HPV was not a factor.

I'm by no means condoning her husband's actions, by the way, and I hope she is clear from any other problems. I know what a tough wait that can be to find out. As for the dysplasia, if the doctor caught it early (and I hope all you women reading this go and have regular pap smears!), then there is a 99% treatment success rate.

If you're interested in some reading, start here:
http://search.about.com/fullsearch.htm?terms=cervical%20dysplasia

http://www.adam.com/democontent/IMCAccess/ConsConditions/CervicalDysplasiacc.html

http://www.cervicaldysplasia.com/

http://www.pap101.com/

 

[ness]

Please, read up on this before you go jumping to conclusions about the cause of your friend's cervical dysplasia (if that is what you mean by "problem with her cervix").

Was not jumping to any conclusions about what her problem is.. I was relating a conversation I had with her. It is not cervical dysplasia ... not just abnormal cells.




[/QUOTE] Just as a matter of interest, was your friend a virgin when she married? [/QUOTE]
No she wasnt and has never claimed to be one lol

Had she had absolutely NO sexual experience whatsover (including oral sex)?

Seeing as I do not ask her 20 queastions about her history I do not know for sure but I can assume that she had experience... She also knows how to protect herself.

Did you know that condoms do not prevent the spread of HPV? Did you know that you can carry the virus for 20 years before you show any symptoms or it has any effect on your cervix?

Yes I know this but they do lower the risk ... that was my point.
I took sex ed I know it can take a very long time to rear its ugly head. Should we be teaching our children to obstain from any sex at all? That in itself is a very hard task to do. Children ( teens ) these days do not seem to care.

Does your friend smoke or take oral contraceptives? Does she eat 5 serves of fruit and veg a day?

.

I am sure she smokes well she used to, it isnt a queastion that I asked her.

I'm by no means condoning her husband's actions, by the way, and I hope she is clear from any other problems. I know what a tough wait that can be to find out. As for the dysplasia, if the doctor caught it early (and I hope all you women reading this go and have regular pap smears!), then there is a 99% treatment success rate.

Thanks I know she is very worried and concerend.
What she has is an erosion on her cervix that is what she was told I am waiting to speak to her and see what they told her about how long her wait is.
This is what I found out about the erosion of the cervix
Cervix Erosion

Cervix erosion, genital wart, or cervicitis are all conditions that can result from HPV infection. This cervical condition is when the normal cervical tissue is replaced by inflamed tissue from with in the cervical canal, giving it a red, eroded, and infected appearance. Trauma through intercourse, infection caused by herpes and early syphilis and severe vaginal infections and sometimes chemicals may be contributing factors. Cervix erosion, genital wart, or cervicitis are all conditions that can result from HPV infection.
Here is where I found it
http://www.health-science-report.com/cervical-dysplasia/cervix/cervix-erosion.html


Will have a look ty

 

[ness]

Hi Ness,
The answer to your question above is easy to answer (From my perspective, here in England). The price of housing + the 'equality' (Girls should be taught to be as interrested in a career as boys - they are NOT tied to a kitchen sink, nor are they simply 'baby making machines') Social trend now means that for the 'intelligent and ambitious couples', Mum hardly sees anything of her children during the week; the children go to nursery as soon as possible. Dad sees them over week ends if he can spare the time. There is no 'role model' in bringing up children now; they are left to socialise with each other in nurseries with little input from parents, who, when they do find 'time' for their children over-compensate their subconscious guilt that they tend to 'go overboard' with their children's demands.

Without being judgemental, merely relating the 'status quo', at the end of the scale are the parents who breed like rabits, have no intention of looking after their children - children are thrown out of the house early in the morning, and allowed in late - from a VERY early age (Because they disturb 'out of work Dad's watching TV' or get under mum's feet).

Then there are those parent who are excellent parents and genuinely try their best - but as (I think it might have been NetDoc) someone said, they don't give you a child bringing up manual - you try your best, but it is not easy.

If only we could have wise heads on young shoulders.

This, in a nutshell, is the Culture of England; does it differ much where you live?

Unfortunetly it seems to be the same here in the States and at home in Canada.

Maybe its just a select few that make time to be with their children I could not imagine blowing that off ... you only get one chance to raise your child ( in a good way).

Your suppose to cherish your children not have them and send them off to daycare to be raised by someone else. I know that I would not like the idea of another person teaching my child about sex or respect or anything else for that matter. That is my right my privledge and my duty to my kids.
Thank you for the input

 

[michel]

Unfortunetly it seems to be the same here in the States and at home in Canada.

Maybe its just a select few that make time to be with their children I could not imagine blowing that off ... you only get one chance to raise your child ( in a good way).

Your suppose to cherish your children not have them and send them off to daycare to be raised by someone else. I know that I would not like the idea of another person teaching my child about sex or respect or anything else for that matter. That is my right my privledge and my duty to my kids.
Thank you for the input

That's exactly the way Marie and I saw things; we went through some very hard years - had very few luxuries, even missed out on what some would refer to as 'necessities' , but we got through it.

 

[CaptainXeroid]

...I agree that having sex so young is pretty disturbing (I have a young son and if he came home at 14 having had sex, I'd probably wipe the floor with him)...

First, I apologize for a typo in my post that really changed the meaning. Silly spell check didn't catch are inappropriate when I meant to type age inappropriate.

I don't disagree with your observations about talking about sex to young people, I was saying it was inappropriate for them to be engaging in it. The fact that you would 'wipe the floor' with your 14 year old really supports my point, and I'd bet if he came home drunk and asked for a light on his Camel, you'd have a talk with him as well.

When most of us were younger, we thought our parents were 'square' and were trying to ruin all our fun with their stupid rules. As we grow up and mature(a little ), we realize that those rules were designed to protect us from decisions were lacked experience to make correctly....not to crimp our style.

 

[jewscout]

**MOD POST**

lets get back on topic...is oral sex "better" ?
perhaps someone should start a thread to discuss/debate children and sex, parent's role in sex ed., etc.

 

[ness]

**MOD POST**

lets get back on topic...is oral sex "better" ?
perhaps someone should start a thread to discuss/debate children and sex, parent's role in sex ed., etc.

Sorry jewscout... it went totally off topic I agree.

 

[jewscout]

no prob. ness

like i said just open a different thread on these topics...they are very thought provoking and interesting

 

[Sunstone]

Although I'm disturbed that very young children are experimenting with sex, I think it's heartenning that at least they are experimenting with oral sex. The world would be a much duller place without oral sex.

 

[Bastet]

Ness, I'm sending you a reply via PM to save us going further off topic.

 

[MatCauthorn]

a small poll by the University of California.

Around 20% of the ethnically diverse 580 teenagers - 42% boys, 58% girls with a mean age of 14 - who answered a questionnaire in the study published on Monday, admitted having had oral sex, compared to 14% who had had intercourse.

When you come right down to it, the difference between 20% having oral sex and 14% having intercourse is not all that significant, and might well be within the poll's margin of error, especially considering that it is listed (somewhat oddly) as "a small poll." I'm not saying that this issue is not a problem. I am merely pointing out that it may not be as huge an issue as it first appears. The methodology of the study is not revealed either, to give clues about whether there could have been any leakage among participants. (Again, not saying that there was... just sayin').

Also, I find the claim from earlier in the thread that nine year olds would be having unsupervised oral sex parties somewhat unlikely. When I was in third grade I was more concerned with Transformers than girls. I think I was still on the edge of the "girls are icky" phase, and very definitely not yet into the stage of anything which resembled sexual desire for them. Plus I agree with an earlier poster's view that it seems unlikely that nine year olds would be having parties alone *at all*, not to mention parties where there are multiple girls and boys engaged in sex. It seems like something made up as a scare tactic, or an urban legend made to frighten parents. I'm not saying it's never happened, because I can't prove the negative, but it just doesn't sound credible.

Finally, more info (from Snopes) about the jelly bracelet thing. "Undetermined," they say: http://www.snopes.com/risque/school/bracelet.asp

-- Mat

 

[Sunstone]

At what age is oral sex permissable?

 

[ness]

Finally, more info (from Snopes) about the jelly bracelet thing. "Undetermined," they say: http://www.snopes.com/risque/school/bracelet.asp

-- Mat

I know it is not undetermined because when I first heard about it I asked my 12 yr old daughter about it.
Her reply?
Yeah I know about it, Girls at school wear them.
I asked her... Do you?
She responds..
No it is STUPID

( I check the snopes sight out every now and then... they do not know all tho )

 

[Melody]

At what age is oral sex permissable?

I'll go back to my earlier comment on when sex was permissable. When they aren't children...and that means they're old enough to move out and live on their own, support themselves and sign legal contracts. So I guess that means 18.

Call me old fashioned. Just because the media has decided that sex is a recreational sport, it doesn't mean I have to agree that it's normal, nor do I have to allow my children to believe it.

I have three sons and so far I've managed to get two of them into college without any sexual experimenting. I don't know what's happened since although I can make a good guess after the conversation I had from my son's fiancee to be....and I am very proud of them both.

My middle son is far more interested in breaking into the pro-Magic circuit right now so girls are taking a backseat (one hopes not literally).

My 12 year old thinks girls are interesting but so far he has little interest. Last year in 6th grade a group of boys called him gay (he's a very gentle, polite young man and is loved by the teachers) and his response was, "Geez....I'm too young to even like girls yet." That's my boy.

 

[Sunstone]

Maybe I'm deluded, Melody, but I think sex (very much including oral sex) is a natural part of growing up, and that when and how is the best time for it to begin depends on the individual. Some people are quick starters and some are slow starters and most are somewhere in between. There is no absolute age at which sex should be begun, because it depends on the individual.

Furthermore, I usually assume that a kid's parents know him best, and have his best interests at heart, and so, the kid should be guided by his parents in this matter.

 

[Yerda]

I'll go back to my earlier comment on when sex was permissable. When they aren't children...and that means they're old enough to move out and live on their own, support themselves and sign legal contracts. So I guess that means 18.

I believe the age of consent is 14 in Spain. Turns out girls in Spain don't actually indulge in sex until 19 on average. I'd have to look into the sexual health record, but I have the idea it is better than in more strict countries.

I think 14 (for a girl) is fine if the person is sure that it is their choice. I see no reason why oral sex should be different.

 

[Melody]

Some people are quick starters and some are slow starters and most are somewhere in between. There is no absolute age at which sex should be begun, because it depends on the individual.

Furthermore, I usually assume that a kid's parents know him best, and have his best interests at heart, and so, the kid should be guided by his parents in this matter.

We'll never agree on this one. IMO children have no business having sex. If their brains are not even fully developed until their early 20's, then they don't even understand the long term consequences.

Maybe it's just me, but I would have serious doubts about the sanity of a parent who would actually encourage their 16 year old to experiment with sex...even oral sex....because it's a natural and beautiful thing.

 

[MatCauthorn]

I know it is not undetermined because when I first heard about it I asked my 12 yr old daughter about it.
Her reply?
Yeah I know about it, Girls at school wear them.
I asked her... Do you?
She responds..
No it is STUPID

I think they used the nomenclature "undetermined" because (as you know) their other options are "true" and "false." I'm sure there are a lot of kids who wear the bracelets who have no idea that in other schools they have anything to do with sexuality. Also, there seems to be a variation in the stories told about them. In some versions it's "the boy snaps a bracelet off, and that means the girl has to do whatever he chose," and in some versions it's "the girl wears certain bracelets and that means what she's willing to do," and in some versions it means, "that's what she's done before."

Basically, it doesn't mean the same thing to everyone everywhere, so Snopes can't make a definitive statement about it. For some people it may indeed be true, and for others it may not mean anything. It's like kid jokes and playground rhymes - they change from school to school and region to region, and it's difficult to track when and why they change.

But, I'm getting off-topic. Back to the oral sex!

-- Mat

 

[ness]

I think they used the nomenclature "undetermined" because (as you know) their other options are "true" and "false." I'm sure there are a lot of kids who wear the bracelets who have no idea that in other schools they have anything to do with sexuality. Also, there seems to be a variation in the stories told about them. In some versions it's "the boy snaps a bracelet off, and that means the girl has to do whatever he chose," and in some versions it's "the girl wears certain bracelets and that means what she's willing to do," and in some versions it means, "that's what she's done before."

Basically, it doesn't mean the same thing to everyone everywhere, so Snopes can't make a definitive statement about it. For some people it may indeed be true, and for others it may not mean anything. It's like kid jokes and playground rhymes - they change from school to school and region to region, and it's difficult to track when and why they change.

But, I'm getting off-topic. Back to the oral sex!

-- Mat

I like this post better then the last lol